Why did you become an ex muslim?

inb4 this turns into a debate with people telling other people why they're wrong and gets moved to D&CA.

I used to take religious debates personally, until I realised that we're all clueless humans in the same boat and nobody really knows the answer,

and I've been at both ends of the religious spectrum.

Can’t you think of something original? You say this every time we get a thread like this…

For a long time I have questioned whether I am a muslim. I was born and raised in a western society so my views have changed overtime. Both my parents aren't super religious, I suppose they wanted me and my sibling to become muslims naturally rather then forcing it. From a young age a lot of muslims children learn about Islam, but that wasn't my case. I'm originally from the Netherlands, so I wasn't surrounded by many muslims or South Asian people. When I moved to the UK, I was exposed to many muslims communities from all backgrounds. The UK seems more accepting of Muslims and South Asians.
I've tried my best to learn more about Islam but I was never eager. I follow some muslims on social media but they're not super religious either. I try watch Mufti Menk since I find his approach more likeable? His Fb and YT community posts are very encouraging, but it doesn't all relate to Islam. I thought that maybe a jinn is stopping me from embracing Islam, but honestly that does sound stupid.
My family have said how Islam is a beautiful religion and a way to live life properly. I talked with my brother about my 'faith' and he still believes I'm a muslim simply because I abstain from relationships, alcohol, smoking etc. I probably sound confused...but I do believe in a God.

I don't know if I could leave Islam and if my family would accept that.
Maybe I should keep learning and researching about Islam until I feel comfortable enough to make a decision? I used to think that leaving Islam is hard so I'm curious why people become ex muslims.

For a long time I have questioned whether I am a muslim. I was born and raised in a western society so my views have changed overtime. Both my parents aren't super religious, I suppose they wanted me and my sibling to become muslims naturally rather then forcing it. From a young age a lot of muslims children learn about Islam, but that wasn't my case. I'm originally from the Netherlands, so I wasn't surrounded by many muslims or South Asian people. When I moved to the UK, I was exposed to many muslims communities from all backgrounds. The UK seems more accepting of Muslims and South Asians.
I've tried my best to learn more about Islam but I was never eager. I follow some muslims on social media but they're not super religious either. I try watch Mufti Menk since I find his approach more likeable? His Fb and YT community posts are very encouraging, but it doesn't all relate to Islam. I thought that maybe a jinn is stopping me from embracing Islam, but honestly that does sound stupid.
My family have said how Islam is a beautiful religion and a way to live life properly. I talked with my brother about my 'faith' and he still believes I'm a muslim simply because I abstain from relationships, alcohol, smoking etc. I probably sound confused...but I do believe in a God.

I don't know if I could leave Islam and if my family would accept that.
Maybe I should keep learning and researching about Islam until I feel comfortable enough to make a decision? I used to think that leaving Islam is hard so I'm curious why people become ex muslims.

For a long time I have questioned whether I am a muslim. I was born and raised in a western society so my views have changed overtime. Both my parents aren't super religious, I suppose they wanted me and my sibling to become muslims naturally rather then forcing it. From a young age a lot of muslims children learn about Islam, but that wasn't my case. I'm originally from the Netherlands, so I wasn't surrounded by many muslims or South Asian people. When I moved to the UK, I was exposed to many muslims communities from all backgrounds. The UK seems more accepting of Muslims and South Asians.
I've tried my best to learn more about Islam but I was never eager. I follow some muslims on social media but they're not super religious either. I try watch Mufti Menk since I find his approach more likeable? His Fb and YT community posts are very encouraging, but it doesn't all relate to Islam. I thought that maybe a jinn is stopping me from embracing Islam, but honestly that does sound stupid.
My family have said how Islam is a beautiful religion and a way to live life properly. I talked with my brother about my 'faith' and he still believes I'm a muslim simply because I abstain from relationships, alcohol, smoking etc. I probably sound confused...but I do believe in a God.

I don't know if I could leave Islam and if my family would accept that.
Maybe I should keep learning and researching about Islam until I feel comfortable enough to make a decision? I used to think that leaving Islam is hard so I'm curious why people become ex muslims.

Just because you become Gay does that mean you lose the belief of monotheism, the beliefs of the prophets angels? Doesn’t make sense to me…

What made you stop believing in prophets and angels? And that the Quran is the true book.

Being repeatedly and systematically let down by supposed enlightened and knowledgeable Muslims who ended up being pretty unpleasant once I revealed my inner struggles. It’s a long story

Always trust your gut instinct and listen to what your common sense is telling you.
If you want to explore a variety of religions and belief systems to gain some experience of a diverse variety of perspectives, that's fine.
If you know that you have had more than enough of religion and are happiest as a person who believes in God or is agnostic but prefers to keep your distance from anything/anyone connected with organised religion or interpretations of ancient religious teachings- that's fine too.
Plenty of friends raised in a variety of religious households have opted for the former option.
Quite a few have gone down the latter path.

I enjoy studying theology, history, ancient history, religious studies and the history of religion.
I've never been a follower of islam and never will be.
My best friend and her family are followers of the shia islamic sect led by the aga khan.
Good luck!

Asalaamu Alaikum,

Thanks for sharing your feelings and perspectives with us. I know its not easy for you to do so as our faiths are certainly a very sensitive issue for many of us.

I also grew up in a household that wasn't very religious. At the time my parents were quite new to the country and there were not many Muslims where I lived and we went to state Schools that were predominantly non Muslim. So I also grew up not knowing whether the religion of my parents was true or not. So in High School I started to embark upon a journey of discovery. I looked into all the major religions, as well as the perspectives of the disbelievers of God.

I started reading into the meanings of the Qur'an rather than just blindly reading the Arabic without knowing what the Qur'an is saying. I also looked into the Sunnah and the basics of the science of Hadith, the story of the life of the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) and the stories of all the Prophets. That is when my eyes started opening. It is only by gaining knowledge that our eyes will begin to open and we will gain clarity as to what we are in doubt of. The only religion that truly made sense to me was Islam. It is fully consistent without having any discrepancies in it like the other religions I looked into. I also discovered that Islam is not just a religion but a complete system of life, which covers every aspect of the life cycle of a human. The more I read and gained knowledge of Islam, the more I gained clarity and a firm belief that Islam was the only one true path to success in this life and the next.

What also helped me immensely was to connect to the Masjid which enabled me to feel as part of the Muslim community and to build a support network of Muslim's to keep as company. This is most important.

Know that the main reasons we begin to have doubts is firstly due to a lack of knowledge and understanding of Islam and the wisdoms behind why we are obligated to do certain things. It can also stem from bad experiences of religion from childhood and growing up. These doubts/feelings can gradually turn into resentment which can then turn into hatred, rebelliousness, pride and arrogance in the heart. Surely for those who have had bad experiences in childhood and whilst growing up, must get the relevant therapy/counselling to resolve their deep rooted issues. Otherwise they will turn into irrational hatred of an entire religion and faith. It is similar to hatred based on race and ethnicity.

This arrogance continues to develop in such people's hearts which then leads them to starting thinking that they know better and are better than following an organised religion or believing in a higher power. They end up thinking that they don't need religion or God to succeed in life. When that happens then the light of guidance is taken away from one's heart. Allah says:

"All those on earth who have behaved arrogantly for no reason, I will turn away from My signs. Even if they see every sign, they will not believe in them. And if they see the path of righteousness they will not take it. Whereas, if they see a path of error, they will take it because they have rejected Our messages and have paid no attention to them. (Qur'an 7:146)

Throughout the Qur'an Allah talks about those with a disease in their hearts and those whose hearts have made them become deaf, dumb and blind towards the truth. When looking into this further I established that this is due to such people who became arrogant against God. This arrogance then turns into having a rebellious attitude and this is what you will find in many of those who have hatred and enmity against Islam, as well as religion in general.

So I would suggest that you look into the Qur'an with its meanings with an open heart. Also reading into the life of the Prophet is life changing, reading about his journey from before Prophethood all the way until his death. Also read about the life of the Prophets. It is highly important that you approach knowledgeable sisters and/or try to join a local Muslim Sisters Islamic circle. Remember "we will become whom we keep as company". Also join any Islamic courses available to you. Learn, learn and learn. However be careful of the tricks of shaythan who will try to lure you towards learning and getting the perspectives from the wrong sources, from those who hate Islam and try their best to defame it and give the wrong perspectives on it.

Also carry on listening to Mufti Menk as everything he says is from the perspective of Islam even though he may not directly quote it sometimes. Also refer to Nouman Ali Khan as he specialises in giving perspectives of the Qur'an in relatiomn to every aspect of our lives. Also his style is unique and easy to understand in a modern context.

Also every night ask of Allah. Open your heart and raise your hands unto him and ask him for guidance and to direct your heart towards the right direction. Surely he wants to guide you but your heart has to want to receive guidance in the first place. We must be aware that our time here is very short. Surely we are not here without purpose.

The following are some free eBooks and resources that I personally recommend:

Biography of the Prophet Muhammad by Martin Lings

https://islamicbulletin.org/en/ebooks/prophet/muhammad_martin_Lings.pdf

Seerah - Biography of the Prophet Muhammad by Yasir Qadhi on Youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLC89682017B43845D

Translations of the Qur'an with brief summarised commentary - Good for beginners:

https://muftitaqiusmani.com/en/Books/noble-quran/

https://darpdfs.org/tafseer-as-sadi/

In depth commentary of the Qur'an:

https://www.islamicstudies.info/quran/maarif/maarif.php

Audio commentary on the Qur'an by Nouman Ali Khan:

https://www.nakcollection.com/quran-tafsir.html

Free E books and resources for those looking into Islam:

https://www.islamicboard.com/new-muslims/134286887-useful-islamic-information-reverts.html

https://islamicbulletin.org/?page_id=5742

If you need anything else then please do not hesitate to ask.

I had lots of religious doubts until I read the Quran directly, instead of what other people were saying.
Read this PDF: https://www.islamland.com/uploads/books/The_Quran_and_Modern_Science_maurice_bucaile-eng.pdf
Also use logic: where did everything come from, what started the universe? it would make zero sense if there was no god (0 cannot equal 1), and it would make complete sense if there was a God, who exists outside of space and time, not a person with a face.

as a muslim, i really hope everyone reading this knows that questioning your religion is okay. i love my religion but still find myself questioning the rights of women or certain rules in the Quran- as said above, definitely do your own research and make of the teachings what you want, not what others tell you. religion is a personal relationship between you and Allah, no matter how strained, not what others tell you it should be. if, upon research, you really think the religion isn't what you believe in, that's okay too, just make sure you don't let western society dictate how you feel about your own religion

Being repeatedly and systematically let down by supposed enlightened and knowledgeable Muslims who ended up being pretty unpleasant once I revealed my inner struggles. It’s a long story