How do you know if you're trans?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I can't stop thinking about it. Like how do I know? I don't really feel like my birth gender, but sometimes I'll find myself thinking of myself as my birth gender and every time I do I wonder if I'm cis. Or gender fluid. Or something else entirely. It gets me down not knowing.
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zakramsey
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#2
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#2
Don't force yourself to come to any conclusions, anon. The time will come if and when you truly and strongly believe that you're a different gender than the one you were assigned with
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ToGodly
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#3
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#3
there is only 2 genders.
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Lysistrata
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I can't stop thinking about it. Like how do I know? I don't really feel like my birth gender, but sometimes I'll find myself thinking of myself as my birth gender and every time I do I wonder if I'm cis. Or gender fluid. Or something else entirely. It gets me down not knowing.
Assume you're not. Loads of students are going through this questioning just now for all kinds of reasons, but assume youre not, that you are who you are and you're good with that. Unfortunately most people question all sorts of things about themselves at this stage in life and trans lobyists have found that vulnerable audience a soft target. Don't be exploited but the agendas of others: take time to discover yourself, your skills, talents and what makes you tick...and don't let anyone tell you it's all about gender: you're so much more than that.
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_Robyn_
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#5
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#5
(Original post by Anonymous)
I can't stop thinking about it. Like how do I know? I don't really feel like my birth gender, but sometimes I'll find myself thinking of myself as my birth gender and every time I do I wonder if I'm cis. Or gender fluid. Or something else entirely. It gets me down not knowing.
If you are questioning this there is a good chance you may be somewhere on the gender spectrum. For me, I always knew something wasn't quite right but I educated myself and became open to all sorts of identities on the gender spectrum. You can't just "pick one" and stick to it. It takes time to accept it. There's no rush. And don't worry about "changing your mind". You don't have to come out as genderfluid for example and stick to it forever. Anyway my advice would be is to first educate yourself so you are aware of most identities on the gender spectrum, then just take your time. Maybe try on more "masculine/feminine" clothes to see what you feel most comfortable in. But most of all, just be whoever you want to be. You don't even have to put a label on it if you don't want to. The most important thing is to be comfortable in your own skin.
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
(Original post by _Robyn_)
If you are questioning this there is a good chance you may be somewhere on the gender spectrum. For me, I always knew something wasn't quite right but I educated myself and became open to all sorts of identities on the gender spectrum. You can't just "pick one" and stick to it. It takes time to accept it. There's no rush. And don't worry about "changing your mind". You don't have to come out as genderfluid for example and stick to it forever. Anyway my advice would be is to first educate yourself so you are aware of most identities on the gender spectrum, then just take your time. Maybe try on more "masculine/feminine" clothes to see what you feel most comfortable in. But most of all, just be whoever you want to be. You don't even have to put a label on it if you don't want to. The most important thing is to be comfortable in your own skin.
Thanks, that's really useful advice!
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tinos21
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#7
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#7
There's also a degree to which it doesn't matter half as much as people make out.

The pronouns people call you don't mean **** - for one it doesn't matter whether someone calls me a man, a pig, or a flying frog, I know I'm a woman; for two, many languages don't even recognise such a thing as a gendered pronoun - it's entirely a social construct anyway so there's no use stressing over it.

As for the bigger picture beyond pronouns make the distinction clearly between your gender expression (what clothes you enjoy, what mannerisms you feel comfortable with etc.) and what your body functions as (ie do you make the baby basic biology stuff). I dress like a man, feel comfortable taking up a lot of space, and have mainly guy friends. I still feel comfortable with my body as feminine.

Also if you are a women there's another distinction to make - if you don't feel comfortable with having children or even can't, that doesn't mean you are barred from feeling fundamentally physically feminine.

Essentially just be clear with yourself what it is you're uncomfortable with and make sure it really is your fundamental biology. From my experience in the lgbtq community, many people who are uncomfortable with their 'gender' really just resent useless societal norms rather than have any genuine dissociation and horror of their own body.

Best of luck with your journey wherever it takes you, and don't fear any lack of acceptance you find along the way - authenticity attracts more true friends than it rejects.
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_Robyn_
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#8
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#8
(Original post by tinos21)
There's also a degree to which it doesn't matter half as much as people make out.

The pronouns people call you don't mean **** - for one it doesn't matter whether someone calls me a man, a pig, or a flying frog, I know I'm a woman; for two, many languages don't even recognise such a thing as a gendered pronoun - it's entirely a social construct anyway so there's no use stressing over it
But for some people it is a very important thing what pronouns they go by. Please be respectful.
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