advice please

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Miaj_233
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So I’ve noticed that I always have a tendency to over think still and I have been really Self aware of things in mine and my boyfriends relationship since it started basically. Like one day it’ll be this that I’ll over analyse / be self aware of. It feels like my Brain just won’t let me chill out for one minute without something popping up in my head that my boyfriend does.

For example , today , my boyfriend was stroking my side boob , without him asking, and im like well I’d rather you ask for consent with things etc and he does and if I don’t like it I’ll say . But he didn’t. He just started stroking my side boob without checking on me to see if it was okay? like in the end I was like well yeah it was okay but what I’m annoyed about is that he didn’t ask. ( he thought I looked calm whilst doing this action and thats why he didn’t say anything.

Am I just being silly and over analysing it all or what? I think I’m just too much in my own head when I’m with him and I don’t know what to do. I just want the over analysing to stop and just for it to feel like im in a calm relationship from my pov .
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Surnia
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How long have you been in this relationship, and have you had a boyfriend before? What kind of things do you want consent for? Do you overthink in other situations and have you ever addressed this with anyone? Does your boyfriend know you feel this way?

It's not that you aren't allowed to say no to certain interactions in a relationship, but you can't expect your boyfriend to have to ask about whether or not he can be physically affectionate most times he wants to touch you. Spontaneity is part of being together, and he could struggle if he feels he's walking on eggshells around you and can't give you an impromptu hug, kiss or touch.
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xox416
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You're allowed go feel how you feel, if you don't feel right about it then that's ok. Have you have something traumatic happen to you that triggers these emotions?

I personally wouldn't make a big deal of it because he's my bf and I enjoy random acts like that.
Last edited by xox416; 1 month ago
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Miaj_233
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(Original post by Surnia)
How long have you been in this relationship, and have you had a boyfriend before? What kind of things do you want consent for? Do you overthink in other situations and have you ever addressed this with anyone? Does your boyfriend know you feel this way?

It's not that you aren't allowed to say no to certain interactions in a relationship, but you can't expect your boyfriend to have to ask about whether or not he can be physically affectionate most times he wants to touch you. Spontaneity is part of being together, and he could struggle if he feels he's walking on eggshells around you and can't give you an impromptu hug, kiss or touch.
Thankyou for your advice

I’ve been in our relationship for just over 1 year , 2 years this September. Q2 - I wouldn’t say I had had a boyfriend before , as they were “high school relationships “ so they wasn’t proper / sexual if you understand?

Yeah I do Over think in situations as I’m a genuine over thinker with a bit of anxiety

Yes my boyfriend and family , friends know that I feel this ( over thinking ) I told My boyfriend When we started dating.

It can be random sexual actions that I want consent for. I don’t know really why I want consent maybe it’s as my Brain wants to protect myself from hurt ? I’m not really sure..


For your bottom answer .. yes I guess. That makes me look at things differently.
Last edited by Miaj_233; 1 month ago
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Miaj_233
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(Original post by xox416)
You're allowed go feel how you feel, if you don't feel right about it then that's ok. Have you have something traumatic happen to you that triggers these emotions?

I personally wouldn't make a big deal of it because he's my bf and I enjoy random acts like that.
Thanks for the advice
Not really no, nothing traumatic. maybe it’s just because I’m protecting myself idk x
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