How less good looking guys can get a girlfriend

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Just looking for some advice. How can an average/less good looking guy get a girlfriend if he struggles to get dates/gets rejected 99.9% of the time? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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wannamellon
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#2
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#2
be yur self works every time and any time- as a girl who's lucky in getting guys but not so lucky when it comes to relationships the best advice i can give is to be yur self- don't change for anyone no matter how tempting- if yu wanna look a bit better than you already do- look after your self try skin routines and maybe try working out but remember to always be and love yur self
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by wannamellon)
be yur self works every time and any time- as a girl who's lucky in getting guys but not so lucky when it comes to relationships the best advice i can give is to be yur self- don't change for anyone no matter how tempting- if yu wanna look a bit better than you already do- look after your self try skin routines and maybe try working out but remember to always be and love yur self
Thanks. I know you mean well and I very much appreciate it but unfortunately, I don’t think that works for me. I don’t really get many dates at all so I think the technique which might work for me is to improve my dating skills on the very few dates I get (normally about 3 dates a year after hours and hours of swiping on apps or asking out hundreds of girls offline). I don’t know how to do this though.
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
normally about 3 dates a year after hours and hours of swiping on apps or asking out hundreds of girls offline)
And there's your problem: desperation. You don't sound attracted to any particular girl, more the idea of having a girlfriend, and so go for anyone rather than someone with whom you may be genuinely compatible. Make friends with girls, get to know them and see how you get on and what interests and values you share.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
And there's your problem: desperation. You don't sound attracted to any particular girl, more the idea of having a girlfriend, and so go for anyone rather than someone with whom you may be genuinely compatible. Make friends with girls, get to know them and see how you get on and what interests and values you share.
Thank you for your advice. I very much appreciate it. I don’t mean to blow a hole in your assessment (I know it’s well meaning) but If I only get a few matches after hours of swiping despite working on my profile and photos, surely desperation is nothing to do with that? Just a thought.

I also have lots of female friends and that doesn’t seem to get me anywhere.
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Trinculo
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I would have thought the answer is obvious - go for less good looking girls.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Trinculo)
I would have thought the answer is obvious - go for less good looking girls.
I do. I still don’t get anywhere. To address the desperation point, I still didn’t get anywhere even when I gave up and wasn’t trying.
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PossiblyNotGod
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Surnia
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#9
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for your advice. I very much appreciate it. I don’t mean to blow a hole in your assessment (I know it’s well meaning) but If I only get a few matches after hours of swiping despite working on my profile and photos, surely desperation is nothing to do with that? Just a thought.

I also have lots of female friends and that doesn’t seem to get me anywhere.
But it's desperate to be spending hours on a dating app when you could be doing more productive things! And not necessarily trying to find a girlfriend; go out and find enjoyable activities like concerts, sports, volunteering. And if you've got female friends, you know how to approach and chat with women,which is a big positive.

How old are you?
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Crazed cat lady
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#10
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#10
Just rely on what other average guys use. Namely their personality, charm, empathy, kindness, etc.

(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you for your advice. I very much appreciate it. I don’t mean to blow a hole in your assessment (I know it’s well meaning) but If I only get a few matches after hours of swiping despite working on my profile and photos, surely desperation is nothing to do with that? Just a thought.
If you genuinely want to meet someone, you need to be proactive. Get out there and socialise with people. Messing around on Tinder is low effort.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
But it's desperate to be spending hours on a dating app when you could be doing more productive things! And not necessarily trying to find a girlfriend; go out and find enjoyable activities like concerts, sports, volunteering. And if you've got female friends, you know how to approach and chat with women,which is a big positive.

How old are you?
I do all of those things though. I volunteer for sports, go to concerts, enjoy hiking and doing other hobbies. And meet women all the time. But none of them are interested in me in that way. I have also given up in the past and put zero effort into dating and it made no difference whatsoever.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Crazed cat lady)
Just rely on what other average guys use. Namely their personality, charm, empathy, kindness, etc.



If you genuinely want to meet someone, you need to be proactive. Get out there and socialise with people. Messing around on Tinder is low effort.
I’m always out and about. And meet a lot of people. It makes no difference for me. What am I doing wrong?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Crazed cat lady)
Just rely on what other average guys use. Namely their personality, charm, empathy, kindness, etc.



If you genuinely want to meet someone, you need to be proactive. Get out there and socialise with people. Messing around on Tinder is low effort.
I’m in my 30s, never been in a relationship, never even held hands with a woman.
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username5963530
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#14
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just looking for some advice. How can an average/less good looking guy get a girlfriend if he struggles to get dates/gets rejected 99.9% of the time? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Join us, become an Incel and prove them wrong. You are an absolute CHAD! THESE PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW IT YET
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I’m in my 30s, never been in a relationship, never even held hands with a woman.
When you flirt, are you being too intense too quickly? When first meeting someone, or messaging someone, you shouldn't make any sexual references etc. Try and comment on something they mention in their profile? So e.g. ask them about a holiday they have pics of, or say how nice their dress is
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
When you flirt, are you being too intense too quickly? When first meeting someone, or messaging someone, you shouldn't make any sexual references etc. Try and comment on something they mention in their profile? So e.g. ask them about a holiday they have pics of, or say how nice their dress is
I never make any sexual references. I just talk about hobbies, holidays etc. but online I don’t really get matches to be able to talk about stuff in the first place.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What you need to learn is how to attract women. Women like tall, rich, muscly, 6 foot bad guys that treat them bad and they like guys that have nice cars, good jobs and have an amazing social life. Women always want something that they can't get, so if you work on yourself and improve. Get a job, go to the gym, go out often and improve your social skills then your attractiveness rating will improve and you will notice that girls will become interested in you. Having a great social life is very important. Girls base their opinions on a guy in groups, so for example, if you have 10 guys in a friendship group and you're one of the alpha males that stand out then they will think that you're the desirable guy. Think about it this way, if you have 20 lions in a group and one of the lions seemed stronger than the rest, then that lion will be the most desirable mate. What I am saying is that the mating principle applies to humans as well. If you work on yourself, focus on the things that I've mentioned and try to stand out from the herd, you will notice that your desirability will increase. Good luck!
I’m not tall or muscly but I do have a good job and an amazing social life. Lots of friends and I’m out every night. Still makes no difference for me.
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dreamandwakeup
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#18
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just looking for some advice. How can an average/less good looking guy get a girlfriend if he struggles to get dates/gets rejected 99.9% of the time? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
get a motorbike and date men instead
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ToGodly
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#19
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#19
No one is less good looking. If you are a 4 add some confidence and then you are a 6 on top of that add some style and you are a 7… go to the gym and earn some money boom you are a 9. It’s working yourself mentally and physically. There is no really definition of good looking cause some boys would be so handsome but they won’t be the type for some girls and still get rejected because he is not tall, or too nice or not a toxic bad boy. Just work on yourself
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