Yh noo I can’t stand this family anymore

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
They love to do nothing but argue and talk **** about others and nothing nice comes out their mouths.

I’m honestly tired of staying in my room all day. I only leave my room once or twice to eat or shower. The anxiety with asking for permission to go out ain’t it so I stay home. I cant stress how toxic my parents are let alone this household is. You’d expect a step mum to act like a mother but she has only been a carer to me but a mother to the siblings she likes. It’s sad to witness how motherly and caring she is towards kids but has nothing to show for us. I know I sound ungrateful but that’s how I feel

Not only do I have a step mum that only cares about her kids, an elder sister that loves nothing but gossip and arguing, an older brother that I rarely talk to, siblings that are abroad, a father that I can’t talk to because I was only taught to respect him, step mum that I also barely talk to because she doesn’t care about anything unless it benefits her.

I figured rather than arguing and stressing myself out even more, it’s better that I distance myself from them. I understand it’s wrong and one day i might lose them due to the consequences of my own actions but I can’t stand them.
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Muttly
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#2
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#2
Its ok to have unpleasant feelings about someone who you don't respect but its how you deal with those feelings that matter.

Could you contact a trusted teacher or tutor at school/college and explain your home situation, possibly even get some help to deal with everything that affects you?

In between - Please ring Childline on 0800 1111 and take some advice from them too
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quantaviouscooch
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#3
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#3
nah but fr tho your in a dilemma your in a really sad situation call social services or childline you got this man
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londonmyst
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#4
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#4
I understand some of how you feel.
I grew up in a controlling and toxic household surrounded by unreasonable people who imposed themselves and their bizarre rules upon me.

Try to focus on your own ambitions, doing all the things that make you happy, maintaining a positive mindset, developing effective coping mechanisms and working towards building the happy future life that you want.
How old are you?
Do you plan to move out for work or uni?
Good luck!
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Anonymous #1
#5
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#5
(Original post by Muttly)
Its ok to have unpleasant feelings about someone who you don't respect but its how you deal with those feelings that matter.

Could you contact a trusted teacher or tutor at school/college and explain your home situation, possibly even get some help to deal with everything that affects you?

In between - Please ring Childline on 0800 1111 and take some advice from them too
How do I deal with those feeling? I use food to cope but obviously not the smartest. I’m a university graduate so I’m 21
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
(Original post by quantaviouscooch)
thats nice and all but can we talk about the political and economic state of the world right now??
Pls!! It’s so much better
(Original post by quantaviouscooch)
nah but fr tho your in a dilemma your in a really sad situation call social services or childline you got this man
I really do think it’s just affecting my mental health. I’m not in a harmful situation
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
(Original post by londonmyst)
I understand some of how you feel.
I grew up in a controlling and toxic household surrounded by unreasonable people who imposed themselves and their bizarre rules upon me.

Try to focus on your own ambitions, doing all the things that make you happy, maintaining a positive mindset, developing effective coping mechanisms and working towards building the happy future life that you want.
How old are you?
Do you plan to move out for work or uni?
Good luck!
Exactly what I’m trying to do! I’ve been doing really well too it’s just some days it gets to me and I just breakdown. Honestly it’s really nice to know I’m doing the only one struggle. I haven’t found any good coping mechanisms, in fact, I developed really bad disordered eating habits to help me ignore my struggles and it helped but it also brought a lot of attention to me so I was once a topic for some time. Thought they still didn’t care much which gave me the chance to relapse anytime because no one was stopping me. I’m a graduate, 21.
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londonmyst
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Exactly what I’m trying to do! I’ve been doing really well too it’s just some days it gets to me and I just breakdown. Honestly it’s really nice to know I’m doing the only one struggle. I haven’t found any good coping mechanisms, in fact, I developed really bad disordered eating habits to help me ignore my struggles and it helped but it also brought a lot of attention to me so I was once a topic for some time. Thought they still didn’t care much which gave me the chance to relapse anytime because no one was stopping me. I’m a graduate, 21.
Try to spend as little time around the most unpleasant members of the household and spend as much time outside the property as you can.
This will restrict opportunities of unnecessary interactions and negative communications.

Are you interested in art, cooking, exercise, music or volunteering?
Are you planning to move out soon or save up so that you will be able to move out within the next 18months?
Do you have any friends that you could look for a houseshare with?
Or know anyone who has a spare room/sofa that they would be willing to rent to you in the short term?
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Muttly
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#9
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#9
Start then to take control of your own life.

Whilst it may do your head in living at home, at least it may be free rent? Buy some ear plugs or get some noise cancellation headphones.

You don't have to use your room as your prison, use it a space to plan your future. Make contact with the outside world. Make a CV, look for jobs that you can find (hopefully something you will be a good fit with) and get a job (any) save a deposit and rent somewhere privately. At least you know you have your own escape plan & tunnel. It may be advisable to keep this information personal within your family if you don't want anyone to sabotage it.

If you want a decent rental place with a little more personal security, look for hospital staff wanting professionals to join a house share.

From that time on you can become independent and have your own space, albeit there may be many many more things that will annoy you down the line like cleaning the toilet, dirty fridges, being untidy, sharing a space, irritating flat mates - the list is endless. Make sure that you are not leaving one set of annoyances for a thousand more.

Be honest as to whether your mental health is adequate enough to undertake a move out - talk with your health care providers if this is causing you a lot of distress or if there are questions over the problems of coping etc

Have a look at some of the self help pages on the following:

http://mind.org.uk/

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/...r-young-people

https://www.moving.com/tips/how-to-m...13-easy-steps/
(Original post by quantaviouscooch)
thats nice and all but can we talk about the political and economic state of the world right now??
How your constructive comment helps the OP on a personal level is beyond me?

Yet you have just wasted your time typing something just to prove you can - (type)
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Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#10
(Original post by londonmyst)
Try to spend as little time around the most unpleasant members of the household and spend as much time outside the property as you can.
This will restrict opportunities of unnecessary interactions and negative communications.

Are you interested in art, cooking, exercise, music or volunteering?
Are you planning to move out soon or save up so that you will be able to move out within the next 18months?
Do you have any friends that you could look for a houseshare with?
Or know anyone who has a spare room/sofa that they would be willing to rent to you in the short term?
Thank you I’ll honestly try. It’s just that I no longer find interest in anything anymore. I used to enjoy exercising, cooking, baking and writing but I find it all unnecessary an joyless. I won’t be allowed to move out unless I’m married but I’ll be going back to university for my masters next year. More stress!
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Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#11
(Original post by Muttly)
Start then to take control of your own life.

Whilst it may do your head in living at home, at least it may be free rent? Buy some ear plugs or get some noise cancellation headphones.

You don't have to use your room as your prison, use it a space to plan your future. Make contact with the outside world. Make a CV, look for jobs that you can find (hopefully something you will be a good fit with) and get a job (any) save a deposit and rent somewhere privately. At least you know you have your own escape plan & tunnel. It may be advisable to keep this information personal within your family if you don't want anyone to sabotage it.

If you want a decent rental place with a little more personal security, look for hospital staff wanting professionals to join a house share.

From that time on you can become independent and have your own space, albeit there may be many many more things that will annoy you down the line like cleaning the toilet, dirty fridges, being untidy, sharing a space, irritating flat mates - the list is endless. Make sure that you are not leaving one set of annoyances for a thousand more.

Be honest as to whether your mental health is adequate enough to undertake a move out - talk with your health care providers if this is causing you a lot of distress or if there are questions over the problems of coping etc

Have a look at some of the self help pages on the following:

http://mind.org.uk/

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/...r-young-people

https://www.moving.com/tips/how-to-m...13-easy-steps/
How your constructive comment helps the OP on a personal level is beyond me?

Yet you have just wasted your time typing something just to prove you can - (type)
Omg I thought of buying noise cancelling headphones!! I still don’t know why I haven’t bought them tbh. I am currently looking for a job but the money won’t be spent on rent since I can’t move out. Healthcare providers like who? Thank you so much I’ll check them all out!!
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londonmyst
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you I’ll honestly try. It’s just that I no longer find interest in anything anymore. I used to enjoy exercising, cooking, baking and writing but I find it all unnecessary an joyless. I won’t be allowed to move out unless I’m married but I’ll be going back to university for my masters next year. More stress!
Don't let anyone ruin your positive state of mind or destroy your hopes & spirit.
Focus on your ambitions, doing the things that make you happy and building the happy future life that you want.
Try to go out to exercise as often as possible as a means of getting out of the house and improving your health & fitness.
Writing can be a good outlet for releasing powerful emotions, quite a few TSR users have started blogs and made lots of new friends.

My maternal grandmother and mother would never have allowed me to move out before marriage.
The latter snatched my life savings trying to prevent me from being able to move out.
But I still got away and will never go back or speak to either again.
You can also have a happy future life where you will wake up every day keen to enjoy a new day of independence, freedom, privacy, peace and quiet.
Good luck!
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