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can someone mark this question 2 gcse english paper1 lang ASAP plz

The writer uses language to describe zoe's feelings, as she thinks that life is becoming to feel repetitive. When Zoe is describing her surroundings "everywhere was snow and silence. Snow and silence; the complete arrest of life" The repetition used here illustrates that everywhere she looked it was full with whiteness. The extended metaphors "complete arrest of life" and " rehearsal and a pre-echo of death" suggests zoe's feelings of being transcendence. The silence around her shows us that she feels as if she is dead and this suggests the fact that her life is repetitive as she thinks of life as a rehearsal.
The writer uses language to describe zoe's feelings about her life becoming too repetitive. When Zoe is describing her surroundings she states "everywhere was snow and silence. Snow and silence; the complete arrest of life" The repetition used here illustrates that everywhere she looked it was full with whiteness. - this has not been related to your point.
Eg - her landscape being full with whiteness which reflects the colourlessness of her own life.

The extended (Is it an extended metaphor or a metaphor?) metaphors "complete arrest of life" and "rehearsal and a pre-echo of death" suggests zoe's feelings of being transcendent - (Transcendence is a noun, transcendent is the adjective). The silence around her shows us that she feels as if she is dead - so? link back to point.
Eg - She feels as if she is dead. In death, existence becomes repetitive and a person can longer interact with the material world.

and this suggests the fact that her life is repetitive as she thinks of life as a rehearsal. - you have repeated the quote. You need to link back.
Eg - The fact that she thinks of her life of a rehearsal show it is repetitive because she feels as though she's practised the exact same acts she's currently performing many times.

Hello! Your paragraph is fairly good, you just need to ensure that you're linking back always. Even though it's silly because I know what you mean when you say white -- repetitive or rehearsal -- repetitive. The examiner needs to see you make that logical link between the two ideas.

Good luck for tomorrow!
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Zantu
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Original post by blanx_1
The writer uses language to describe zoe's feelings, as she thinks that life is becoming to feel repetitive. When Zoe is describing her surroundings "everywhere was snow and silence. Snow and silence; the complete arrest of life" The repetition used here illustrates that everywhere she looked it was full with whiteness. The extended metaphors "complete arrest of life" and " rehearsal and a pre-echo of death" suggests zoe's feelings of being transcendence. The silence around her shows us that she feels as if she is dead and this suggests the fact that her life is repetitive as she thinks of life as a rehearsal.

Not too professional grading here, so I do not feel confident in me giving you mark. But I have done this extract 3 times at the point so I think I am somewhat qualified...

1. To show that you are really perceptive, I recommend doing 2 or more points, ideally separated by paragraphs (therefore 2 or more paragraphs). I know this may be hard as most teachers recommend 10 minutes so try doing 1 in 5 minutes

2. I like the fact that you used more than one references to the text which shows to the examiner that you are really aiming for the top band

3. Explain you quotes and methods more what do they really show (ik this may not have made sense, sorry :/ )

Here is the mark scheme to the paper, go have a look and compare your answer to the exemplar answer: https://filestore.aqa.org.uk/sample-papers-and-mark-schemes/2019/november/AQA-87001-W-MS-NOV19.PDF

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