Boyfriend does cocaine

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
Me and my boyfriend are highschool sweethearts, got together at the age of 15 and we 22 this year. When we both started going down town at 18 i knew he occosionally used cocaine but it didnt bother me because it may have been once a week and it was kept away fom me and i never seen it. Last year i started to notice that he was doing it alot more 2/3 times and not just at weekend in the week, i was also seeing it and finding it and sometimes i was with him when he’d done it without me noticing. I dont know anything about the stuff and i have never done it, i confronted him about it as he knows how uncomfortable it makes me feel and he said he’d stop. It changed him as a person his behaviour when he’d had a drink was vile and nasty, i then found out from one of his friends he had done it again so we split up for a few weeks, he went on a massive bender and realised thats not what he wanted so i chose to get over the lies and trust boundries and try again. Things seemed good between me and him best we’d probably ever been, until he admitted to me he never stopped doing it and the only reason he admitted it was because the guilt caught up with him so we split again, i decided to give him one more chance because i love him and the end of the day. Its 4 months on and we been amazing as a couple but hes gave me a ultimatum that i have to accept him for him or we split for good, so ive got to accept he does drugs? I dont think i can do that, its not a path i want to go down, i want to plan a future with him move out have kids etc or am i wasting my time? I feel stupid for not accepting it as i know alot of girlfriends who dont care their bf does it, all my family and friends have told me to get out while i can but its hard and he is all ive ever know, the thought of him with someone else makes ne feel sick, wheather im too blinded by loving him that much i dont know i really dont know what to do, over the nearly 6 years we been together ive never faced anything this hard, should i accept it??
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StriderHort
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#2
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#2
Dating a coke addict is prob never going to work out well, and prob work out very badly. I say this as someone that quite enjoys recreational substances, but I wouldn't date a coke head, just seen too many bad things happen to them and sooner or later the drug always comes first and eventually, only.
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xox416
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#3
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#3
My ex did coke.
Kept it from me for months. He did this manipulation tactic where he would make me out to be this horrible person for not accepting him and his toxic behaviors towards me. How does he treat you? Can he hold a job?

From personal experience and what I've seen from other addicts...doesn't turn out good.
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Maya4955
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#4
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#4
I just know its going to end badly. You rather end it now before it gets worse. its going to hurt you have been together for a while but the right choice is to walk away and leave. with cocaine he is going to get worse and worser the aggression the dose and amount he takes will get worse and worse and if you think you love him enough to stay with him and help him Get help then fair enough but he needs to know he needs help at this stage it looks like he is far from it.

Honestly as you will look back and think leaving was and is the right decision. if he can't stop you need to leave yes you love him and you have been together for a long time but you will meet someone who loves you 10x more than he does and isn't on crack.

Drugs whether its cocaine or alcohol addiction never ends well its the truth it will get worse and worser and once you have a child you are stuck with that he won't realise it but his behaviour will get worse and worse and the demand for drugs yes its only here and there now but it will get worse and worse this will eventually if you go on to have kids massively effect that do you want the father of your child to binge cocaine left right and centre

it may seem harsh but you need to think for your future you may think that your in love which you are after 6 years with each other but maybe this is a sign and god is showing you it now listen to it honestly I have been in this situation but it was 3 years yes I stuck 3 years out but it was so hard to leave but now looking back it was the best decision ever if I stuck and stayed I would have become the same and my life was bringing to look like his too I was doing nothing making bad choices because the crowd around me was bad and now looking back it makes me laugh

honestly hun make money go live your life you seem clever enough to make your own decisions choose the rights ones

honestly your family are looking out for you sometimes you just can't see it which I didn't but I was grateful they told me something I couldn't see you don't want that life trust me it does not end well hun
(Original post by StriderHort)
Dating a coke addict is prob never going to work out well, and prob work out very badly. I say this as someone that quite enjoys recreational substances, but I wouldn't date a coke head, just seen too many bad things happen to them and sooner or later the drug always comes first and eventually, only.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by xox416)
My ex did coke.
Kept it from me for months. He did this manipulation tactic where he would make me out to be this horrible person for not accepting him and his toxic behaviors towards me. How does he treat you? Can he hold a job?

From personal experience and what I've seen from other addicts...doesn't turn out good.
He treats me well, would go to the ends of the world for me in the beginning, he has a good well paid job mon-friday earns about £600 a week so i can’t fault him for that.
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
(Original post by Maya4955)
I just know its going to end badly. You rather end it now before it gets worse. its going to hurt you have been together for a while but the right choice is to walk away and leave. with cocaine he is going to get worse and worser the aggression the dose and amount he takes will get worse and worse and if you think you love him enough to stay with him and help him Get help then fair enough but he needs to know he needs help at this stage it looks like he is far from it.

Honestly as you will look back and think leaving was and is the right decision. if he can't stop you need to leave yes you love him and you have been together for a long time but you will meet someone who loves you 10x more than he does and isn't on crack.

Drugs whether its cocaine or alcohol addiction never ends well its the truth it will get worse and worser and once you have a child you are stuck with that he won't realise it but his behaviour will get worse and worse and the demand for drugs yes its only here and there now but it will get worse and worse this will eventually if you go on to have kids massively effect that do you want the father of your child to binge cocaine left right and centre

it may seem harsh but you need to think for your future you may think that your in love which you are after 6 years with each other but maybe this is a sign and god is showing you it now listen to it honestly I have been in this situation but it was 3 years yes I stuck 3 years out but it was so hard to leave but now looking back it was the best decision ever if I stuck and stayed I would have become the same and my life was bringing to look like his too I was doing nothing making bad choices because the crowd around me was bad and now looking back it makes me laugh

honestly hun make money go live your life you seem clever enough to make your own decisions choose the rights ones

honestly your family are looking out for you sometimes you just can't see it which I didn't but I was grateful they told me something I couldn't see you don't want that life trust me it does not end well hun
I appricate you taking your time to reply to this hun i really do, it means alot actually having people try to make me see sense.
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missling40
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my boyfriend are highschool sweethearts, got together at the age of 15 and we 22 this year. When we both started going down town at 18 i knew he occosionally used cocaine but it didnt bother me because it may have been once a week and it was kept away fom me and i never seen it. Last year i started to notice that he was doing it alot more 2/3 times and not just at weekend in the week, i was also seeing it and finding it and sometimes i was with him when he’d done it without me noticing. I dont know anything about the stuff and i have never done it, i confronted him about it as he knows how uncomfortable it makes me feel and he said he’d stop. It changed him as a person his behaviour when he’d had a drink was vile and nasty, i then found out from one of his friends he had done it again so we split up for a few weeks, he went on a massive bender and realised thats not what he wanted so i chose to get over the lies and trust boundries and try again. Things seemed good between me and him best we’d probably ever been, until he admitted to me he never stopped doing it and the only reason he admitted it was because the guilt caught up with him so we split again, i decided to give him one more chance because i love him and the end of the day. Its 4 months on and we been amazing as a couple but hes gave me a ultimatum that i have to accept him for him or we split for good, so ive got to accept he does drugs? I dont think i can do that, its not a path i want to go down, i want to plan a future with him move out have kids etc or am i wasting my time? I feel stupid for not accepting it as i know alot of girlfriends who dont care their bf does it, all my family and friends have told me to get out while i can but its hard and he is all ive ever know, the thought of him with someone else makes ne feel sick, wheather im too blinded by loving him that much i dont know i really dont know what to do, over the nearly 6 years we been together ive never faced anything this hard, should i accept it??
Well, even though it may seem the relationship you have rn is great, in the long term it may be quite mentally draining for you, especially with the effects drugs can have and how it can change people. Maybe it's better for your health if you just split tbh. This is making me think of the whole Ariana Grande and Mac Miller situation, but yeah, I imagine dating a coke addict or any drug addict wouldn't be easy. I think he needs to sort out his addiction if he wants the whole future of kids and family with you, but if he isn't willing to go that, I think you shouldn't waste your time and energy.
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missling40
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Maya4955)
I just know its going to end badly. You rather end it now before it gets worse. its going to hurt you have been together for a while but the right choice is to walk away and leave. with cocaine he is going to get worse and worser the aggression the dose and amount he takes will get worse and worse and if you think you love him enough to stay with him and help him Get help then fair enough but he needs to know he needs help at this stage it looks like he is far from it.

Honestly as you will look back and think leaving was and is the right decision. if he can't stop you need to leave yes you love him and you have been together for a long time but you will meet someone who loves you 10x more than he does and isn't on crack.

Drugs whether its cocaine or alcohol addiction never ends well its the truth it will get worse and worser and once you have a child you are stuck with that he won't realise it but his behaviour will get worse and worse and the demand for drugs yes its only here and there now but it will get worse and worse this will eventually if you go on to have kids massively effect that do you want the father of your child to binge cocaine left right and centre

it may seem harsh but you need to think for your future you may think that your in love which you are after 6 years with each other but maybe this is a sign and god is showing you it now listen to it honestly I have been in this situation but it was 3 years yes I stuck 3 years out but it was so hard to leave but now looking back it was the best decision ever if I stuck and stayed I would have become the same and my life was bringing to look like his too I was doing nothing making bad choices because the crowd around me was bad and now looking back it makes me laugh

honestly hun make money go live your life you seem clever enough to make your own decisions choose the rights ones

honestly your family are looking out for you sometimes you just can't see it which I didn't but I was grateful they told me something I couldn't see you don't want that life trust me it does not end well hun
^^ well said
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Anonymous #2
#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Me and my boyfriend are highschool sweethearts, got together at the age of 15 and we 22 this year. When we both started going down town at 18 i knew he occosionally used cocaine but it didnt bother me because it may have been once a week and it was kept away fom me and i never seen it. Last year i started to notice that he was doing it alot more 2/3 times and not just at weekend in the week, i was also seeing it and finding it and sometimes i was with him when he’d done it without me noticing. I dont know anything about the stuff and i have never done it, i confronted him about it as he knows how uncomfortable it makes me feel and he said he’d stop. It changed him as a person his behaviour when he’d had a drink was vile and nasty, i then found out from one of his friends he had done it again so we split up for a few weeks, he went on a massive bender and realised thats not what he wanted so i chose to get over the lies and trust boundries and try again. Things seemed good between me and him best we’d probably ever been, until he admitted to me he never stopped doing it and the only reason he admitted it was because the guilt caught up with him so we split again, i decided to give him one more chance because i love him and the end of the day. Its 4 months on and we been amazing as a couple but hes gave me a ultimatum that i have to accept him for him or we split for good, so ive got to accept he does drugs? I dont think i can do that, its not a path i want to go down, i want to plan a future with him move out have kids etc or am i wasting my time? I feel stupid for not accepting it as i know alot of girlfriends who dont care their bf does it, all my family and friends have told me to get out while i can but its hard and he is all ive ever know, the thought of him with someone else makes ne feel sick, wheather im too blinded by loving him that much i dont know i really dont know what to do, over the nearly 6 years we been together ive never faced anything this hard, should i accept it??
I think he's just at that age where coke is pretty normal on nights out. I'm 23 and majority of my friends do coke on a night out, just seems to be the norm nowadays. I can understand why you would be upset about it, and him lying about it, or not telling you makes the situation worse. I don't think it's a 'me or the drugs' type of situation. I think he will get to the point where he doesn't want to do it every night, but for now he's just enjoying it. But the novelty will wear off soon.
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lizzieswellness
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#10
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#10
For me, addicts always don't turn out good for both of you in a relationship. For them, the drug always come first.
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Meduse
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#11
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#11
This is the man you want to have children with? You honestly think bringing children into the world with a cocaine addict as their father would be a good idea?

Highly concerning but not surprising.


(Please don't, there are enough traumatised children in the world)
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xox416
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
He treats me well, would go to the ends of the world for me in the beginning, he has a good well paid job mon-friday earns about £600 a week so i can’t fault him for that.
In the beginning, what happened?
I believe people can change. Hopefully he's not too far gone but looks like he's not ready to leave that behind. I feel so bad. 😪
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StriderHort
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think he's just at that age where coke is pretty normal on nights out. I'm 23 and majority of my friends do coke on a night out, just seems to be the norm nowadays.
Honestly, as someone a bit older whose been around the block a few more times, you seem a bit too casual of why this drug is known to be as addictive as it is, yet each generation of smart ass kids in a club thinks they know better than science. (consider yourself lucky the stuff your pals get is prob 5-10% pure, do you know what the rest is?)

Partly why I say this is, is it sounds obvious to me that the OP's boyfriend is already quite deep into the addiction spiral, not recreation use.
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Anonymous #1
#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
I think he's just at that age where coke is pretty normal on nights out. I'm 23 and majority of my friends do coke on a night out, just seems to be the norm nowadays. I can understand why you would be upset about it, and him lying about it, or not telling you makes the situation worse. I don't think it's a 'me or the drugs' type of situation. I think he will get to the point where he doesn't want to do it every night, but for now he's just enjoying it. But the novelty will wear off soon.
He’s told me i either accept that he does it cus its part of him or we split thered no inbetween
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Slx.24
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#15
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#15
(Original post by StriderHort)
Honestly, as someone a bit older whose been around the block a few more times, you seem a bit too casual of why this drug is known to be as addictive as it is, yet each generation of smart ass kids in a club thinks they know better than science. (consider yourself lucky the stuff your pals get is prob 5-10% pure, do you know what the rest is?)

Partly why I say this is, is it sounds obvious to me that the OP's boyfriend is already quite deep into the addiction spiral, not recreation use.
Fr. They add sm extra **** in it that's just as bad or even worse than coke ☠

And yeah he's not been able to stop even after 3 attempts. And now he's giving an ultimatum to a girl who he's been with for like 7 years.. really sad tbh
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StriderHort
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
He’s told me i either accept that he does it cus its part of him or we split thered no inbetween
Well he's just clearly told you the coke ranks above you in his priorities.
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Admit-One
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
He’s told me i either accept that he does it cus its part of him or we split thered no inbetween
I mean, he's essentially saying "my cocaine use is slightly more important than you". Not cool by my book.

I would also vote to break up, you have different priorities, he's lied (multiple times?) and has issued an ultimatum after considering whether he wants to stop or not. He doesn't.
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gjd800
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#18
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#18
she don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie...
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gjd800
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#19
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#19
But seriously - he has made his choice.
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