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What to do about virginity. Watch

    • #1
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    #1

    As the title may suggest, I'm a virgin.

    I'm an 18 year old guy, and I'm currently pondering is how I plan to lose said virginity, it's all quite confusing >.< For starters, I'm not particularly religious or anything, so it's got nothing to do with celibacy or anything.

    Basically my ideals for relationships are quite ancient. When I'm a LOT older, I would like a family and so on, and upto now I've always imagined losing my virginity as part of some long term relationship. I'm quite the romantic so from one perspective I don't like the idea of loosing my virginity on a one night stand. I'm quite strange, in that, at the moment if I got with anyone at a club I'd actually want to stay in contact with them the day after, which I know isn't how such things happen normally.

    On the other hand, everyone tells me the first time is not that fantastic and it might be better to have it off with some randomer, and then when I do eventually get a girlfriend at long last, I might actually be good in bed. It annoys me however, because they say if I'm not my first girlfriend might dump me. In my opinion I'd like to think I might have enough good judgement to go out with someone who isn't that shallow. Fair enough if I wasn't a virgin it might make sense, but I can't see a girlfriend dumping a virgin for being bad in bed.

    Basically I'm not sure any more how I want to lose my virginity, in a one night stand or how I'd planned it upto now.

    I'm confused! :confused:

    Anyway, all help on the matter is appreciated!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As the title may suggest, I'm a virgin.

    I'm an 18 year old guy, and I'm currently pondering is how I plan to lose said virginity, it's all quite confusing >.< For starters, I'm not particularly religious or anything, so it's got nothing to do with celibacy or anything.

    Basically my ideals for relationships are quite ancient. When I'm a LOT older, I would like a family and so on, and upto now I've always imagined losing my virginity as part of some long term relationship. I'm quite the romantic so from one perspective I don't like the idea of loosing my virginity on a one night stand. I'm quite strange, in that, at the moment if I got with anyone at a club I'd actually want to stay in contact with them the day after, which I know isn't how such things happen normally.

    On the other hand, everyone tells me the first time is not that fantastic and it might be better to have it off with some randomer, and then when I do eventually get a girlfriend at long last, I might actually be good in bed. It annoys me however, because they say if I'm not my first girlfriend might dump me. In my opinion I'd like to think I might have enough good judgement to go out with someone who isn't that shallow. Fair enough if I wasn't a virgin it might make sense, but I can't see a girlfriend dumping a virgin for being bad in bed.

    Basically I'm not sure any more how I want to lose my virginity, in a one night stand or how I'd planned it upto now.

    I'm confused! :confused:

    Anyway, all help on the matter is appreciated!
    Don't just go and do it because you think you should.

    If you wait, it will happen when the time is right:yep:

    If you go out and shag some random person, and then meet a really great girl you might actually regret not being able to lose your virginity to someone you care about.
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    Wait for a relationship, you won't regret that.

    I doubt the majority of girls would dump you for being a virgin. For one, they're going out with you for your personality/stunningly good looks and something like that isn't going to cause them to dump you. Also personally, I'd like to be with a guy who was a virgin! Means they can teach you what they like and show you the ropes :P
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    I'd wait for your ideal to come to you, rather than vice versa.

    You might regret losing your virginity to someone you don't like, based on your ideals

    Good luck with it.
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    I think virginity is so overrated tbh.

    I wouldn't say just lose it for the sake of it. But I wouldn't wait for 'the love of your life'.
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    Staple it to a frisbee and fling it over a rainbow :yes:





    No? Do what you like. It's your virginity, stick to the values that matter to you. If you want to wait for the right person then no one worthwhile is going to judge you for it. Likewise if you want to go out and shag the first (consenting, hopefully) person you see tonight. Really, do whatever you want, there's no need to feel responsible to anyone else.
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    Do it with someone you trust! Trust me I made that mistake and even though I don't regret it (really what's the point in dwelling on the past?) I use it to advise others to not make the same mistake.

    Everytime you sleep with someone different it is like losing your virginity all over again because everyone is different.

    My second time was with someone different and again not the best experience ever but we ended up going out for 2 and a half years, we had some amazing times and really got to know each other both physically and emotionally.

    If when you first sleep with your girlfriend and it is rubbish and she does dump you then she isn't worth your time. Everyone knows the first time most likely to not be that great so she should understand that whether it's her first time or not.

    Don't plan when you are going to lose it either, let it come naturally. It'll be best when it happens naturally, just always make sure you are prepared (condoms etc).

    Hope this helps???
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    when the time is right you'll just know
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As the title may suggest, I'm a virgin.

    I'm an 18 year old guy, and I'm currently pondering is how I plan to lose said virginity, it's all quite confusing >.< For starters, I'm not particularly religious or anything, so it's got nothing to do with celibacy or anything.

    Basically my ideals for relationships are quite ancient. When I'm a LOT older, I would like a family and so on, and upto now I've always imagined losing my virginity as part of some long term relationship. I'm quite the romantic so from one perspective I don't like the idea of loosing my virginity on a one night stand. I'm quite strange, in that, at the moment if I got with anyone at a club I'd actually want to stay in contact with them the day after, which I know isn't how such things happen normally.

    On the other hand, everyone tells me the first time is not that fantastic and it might be better to have it off with some randomer, and then when I do eventually get a girlfriend at long last, I might actually be good in bed. It annoys me however, because they say if I'm not my first girlfriend might dump me. In my opinion I'd like to think I might have enough good judgement to go out with someone who isn't that shallow. Fair enough if I wasn't a virgin it might make sense, but I can't see a girlfriend dumping a virgin for being bad in bed.

    Basically I'm not sure any more how I want to lose my virginity, in a one night stand or how I'd planned it upto now.

    I'm confused! :confused:

    Anyway, all help on the matter is appreciated!
    TBH, I am the same as you -1 year but I wouldn't be too bothered, talk to people in college/school. It will happen one day and until then I wouldn't worry about it and the one thing TSR has taught me is to be proud of it. Why do you need to sleep with someone to accepted socially?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you everyone.

    It's nice to know not everyone thinks like the guys in my flat here at uni. They all seem to think I should "pull" on a night out and have a "shag". It's quite depressing. Has anyone here actually formed a long relationship from a night out? Obviously that's what I'd like, but I'm also being told by my flatmates that it's unlikely to happen on a night out...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Wizard710 - Don't get me wrong, I am quite proud of it, and I wasn't thinking about going about it the other way due to peer pressure, just curiosity really.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you everyone.

    It's nice to know not everyone thinks like the guys in my flat here at uni. They all seem to think I should "pull" on a night out and have a "shag". It's quite depressing. Has anyone here actually formed a long relationship from a night out? Obviously that's what I'd like, but I'm also being told by my flatmates that it's unlikely to happen on a night out...
    Well for one, having a one night stand with someone you pulled in a club will not make you experienced. In fact I doubt that it would make much difference on your 'performance' the next time other than the fact that you might not be as nervous but again that is doubtful.
    And secondly, if you do decide to go ahead and do it you might as well try and stay in contact with the girl if you think that she likes you it could very well develop into a long term relationship or at least a friendship. Personally it really p*****s me off when boys ignore you after a one night stand (it doesn't happen that often btw), I mean seriously I only want to be friends! It's not like I'm going to demand marriage off them or somethine
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you everyone.

    It's nice to know not everyone thinks like the guys in my flat here at uni. They all seem to think I should "pull" on a night out and have a "shag". It's quite depressing. Has anyone here actually formed a long relationship from a night out? Obviously that's what I'd like, but I'm also being told by my flatmates that it's unlikely to happen on a night out...
    I'd worry about it go enjpy the nite & see how girls are around talk make some convo -one might want a drink dance numbers with you there done next film/moive date your all done...
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    Do whatever you want really mate. In all honesty, there's nowt special about losing your virginity, so don't feel like you should save it for 'The One' and that. I lost mine with my first long term partner, but if I'd lost it on a one night stand, it wouldn't have made a difference in all honesty. Odds are you won't get a relationship going from a one night stand, of the few I've had I didn't even get their name, let alone their number to get in touch for a second date or something. Still, if you fancy popping your cherry and you just want some casual sex, one night stand might be the way to go. Drunken sex with a stranger is usually a bit rubbish though.
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    (Original post by Minusaletter89)
    I'd worry about it go enjpy the nite & see how girls are around talk make some convo -one might want a drink dance numbers with you there done next film/moive date your all done...
    yeah I agree why. If you meet a girl you like and she seems interested why not just swap numbers and text her the next day to meet up or something without sleeping with her
    I'm sure she would appreciate it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    As the title may suggest, I'm a virgin.

    I'm an 18 year old guy, and I'm currently pondering is how I plan to lose said virginity, it's all quite confusing >.< For starters, I'm not particularly religious or anything, so it's got nothing to do with celibacy or anything.

    Basically my ideals for relationships are quite ancient. When I'm a LOT older, I would like a family and so on, and upto now I've always imagined losing my virginity as part of some long term relationship. I'm quite the romantic so from one perspective I don't like the idea of loosing my virginity on a one night stand. I'm quite strange, in that, at the moment if I got with anyone at a club I'd actually want to stay in contact with them the day after, which I know isn't how such things happen normally.

    On the other hand, everyone tells me the first time is not that fantastic and it might be better to have it off with some randomer, and then when I do eventually get a girlfriend at long last, I might actually be good in bed. It annoys me however, because they say if I'm not my first girlfriend might dump me. In my opinion I'd like to think I might have enough good judgement to go out with someone who isn't that shallow. Fair enough if I wasn't a virgin it might make sense, but I can't see a girlfriend dumping a virgin for being bad in bed.

    Basically I'm not sure any more how I want to lose my virginity, in a one night stand or how I'd planned it upto now.

    I'm confused! :confused:

    Anyway, all help on the matter is appreciated!
    you'll always remember how you lost your virginity (if you you're sober enough) so with that in mind it's nice if its with someone worth remembering.
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    You only lose your virginity once...the people telling you to lose it on a night out are most likely jealous, because they regret losing it that way!
    Wait-you'll be glad you did xx
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    what's with all the virginity posts these days ...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you everyone.

    It's nice to know not everyone thinks like the guys in my flat here at uni. They all seem to think I should "pull" on a night out and have a "shag". It's quite depressing. Has anyone here actually formed a long relationship from a night out? Obviously that's what I'd like, but I'm also being told by my flatmates that it's unlikely to happen on a night out...
    I met my boyfriend on a drunken night out in Freshers' Week (although we didn't have sex). We're still together over two years later. It can happen
    • #3
    #3

    I have to say- people have a point about it being better with some randomer
    but I think if you have a really good relationship with a girl, it won't be awkward because you connect emotionally- if you're not close enough to be able to laugh things off and be totally sensitive to one another's feelings I'd say your not in a relationship where you should have sex anyway.

    My first time was with some random guy at a party in another city- I would be so embarrassed if any of my friends had found out (I've never told anyone) and really mortified if it had turned out he knew people I did and people I knew found out about it. I think its always a bit risky to have sex with randomers as well- thats something to bear in mind.
    also- I felt like s*** the next day- I've barely ever felt worse in my life- I can't completely explain that feeling, but I think its likely people often feel like that after one-night-stands
 
 
 
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