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    I really Love someone, theres no question he has strong feelings for me and we are close .But He says he aint feelin love to that EXTENT yet and he cant love me like he would like to right now so we cant be together because it wont be fair on me if im puttin in more.

    Im glad hes honest and cares enough not to be with me. but i dunno what to do about it. it kinda hurts still.


    Dunno what i expect you lot say. Just wanted to let it out to someone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I really Love someone, theres no question he has strong feelings for me and we are close .But He says he aint feelin love to that EXTENT yet and he cant love me like he would like to right now so we cant be together because it wont be fair on me if im puttin in more.

    Im glad hes honest and cares enough not to be with me. but i dunno what to do about it. it kinda hurts still.


    Dunno what i expect you lot say. Just wanted to let it out to someone.
    If he really does like you, maybe if you back off a little bit he'll come back to you?
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    just tone down how you feel about him for now. maybe he feels a bit overwhelmed by it all =)
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    I had this problem with my friend. She was definitely more invested in the friendship than I was.

    It's not that I felt overwhelmed, but I felt there was a constant need to perform. The idea that I could end up hurting them badly because the relationship would be unbalanced.

    Discuss it with him. I came to the final conclusion...

    I was being silly. Creating expectations of what I think the other person wanted. I learnt that in reality it's their own life, and they choose how they deal with it. You don't need to decide that on their behalf, they know what they are getting themselves into.
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    (Original post by Tombola)
    I had this problem with my friend. She was definitely more invested in the friendship than I was.

    It's not that I felt overwhelmed, but I felt there was a constant need to perform. The idea that I could end up hurting them badly because the relationship would be unbalanced.

    Discuss it with him. I came to the final conclusion...

    I was being silly. Creating expectations of what I think the other person wanted. I learnt that in reality it's their own life, and they choose how they deal with it. You don't need to decide that on their behalf, they know what they are getting themselves into.

    how did you come to realise that? and do you feel youve missed out?
    Your right though, ive never asked him for anything, just wanted him to allow me to express this to him and show him.If he hurts me, then thats life.I'm kinda hurt now anyway so whats the difference?

    It is true what you guys are saying though, im not planning on running after him. i have a problem with being OVER-honest sometimes lol. I think it would be a good idea to just leave him a bit and when he reaches the point where he needs the love im offering, MAYBE i'll still be there.

    Did I asnswer my own question?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    how did you come to realise that? and do you feel youve missed out?
    Your right though, ive never asked him for anything, just wanted him to allow me to express this to him and show him.If he hurts me, then thats life.I'm kinda hurt now anyway so whats the difference?

    It is true what you guys are saying though, im not planning on running after him. i have a problem with being OVER-honest sometimes lol. I think it would be a good idea to just leave him a bit and when he reaches the point where he needs the love im offering, MAYBE i'll still be there.

    Did I asnswer my own question?
    Unfortunately I only came to realise this after the relationship was on the low point. There's the possability things might have worked out if I hadn't kept on concerning myself with the idea that her feelings were more intense, and thinking that maybe she had higher expectations on the relationship. Things that I wouldn't be able to live upto.

    I could have just focused on being myself and offering love and support. There's not really much point thinking "what if"

    I wouldn't say a relationship dependant on the need for love is healthy but you can ignore this section.
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    Dont pressure him. Some of us guys are kinda flighty when it comes to commitment
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    (Original post by Tombola)
    Unfortunately I only came to realise this after the relationship was on the low point. There's the possability things might have worked out if I hadn't kept on concerning myself with the idea that her feelings were more intense, and thinking that maybe she had higher expectations on the relationship. Things that I wouldn't be able to live upto.

    I could have just focused on being myself and offering love and support. There's not really much point thinking "what if"

    I wouldn't say a relationship dependant on the need for love is healthy but you can ignore this section.

    Im gona be seeing him tomorrow and i think i'll try and mention some of what you said in my own words.About how i dont expect nothing great from him. Just him allowing me to be there would be good enough.One day He might start to love me, i might start to love him less etc, I know that these things happen in life and ive been through a lot in life already for something like that to hurt me. the fact that he's not even gonna chance it, hurts more.

    I Think the girl you did this too might of felt a bit patronised ,like you was deciding what she can and cant handle, because i do a bit, but at least you realised your mistake. I hope he does befor its too late. He knows im not the type to chase. I'll leave it up to him from this day on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im gona be seeing him tomorrow and i think i'll try and mention some of what you said in my own words.About how i dont expect nothing great from him. Just him allowing me to be there would be good enough.One day He might start to love me, i might start to love him less etc, I know that these things happen in life and ive been through a lot in life already for something like that to hurt me. the fact that he's not even gonna chance it, hurts more.
    It's better to have had the chance to love than not have it... Yeah, definitely agree with that notion.

    I Think the girl you did this too might of felt a bit patronised ,like you was deciding what she can and cant handle, because i do a bit, but at least you realised your mistake. I hope he does befor its too late. He knows im not the type to chase. I'll leave it up to him from this day on.
    Yes. It's definitely patronising when you think about it, I'm lucky that the girl I knew was very understanding. We had known each other for several years.

    At the same time I did it because I was concerned about my friend, It's completely natural. But you just have to trust their judgement at the end of the day... I suppose.

    There was the selfish reason that I hated watching my friend get hurt through my own actions. But that's compeltely something different.
 
 
 
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