Make it More Swim-ey !!

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the bear
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#1
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#1
So in the US& A the 21st of May is National Learn to Swim Day

Let us plunge into the deep end of the pun pool :yep:


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Reality Check Toki the Dumdum harrysbar The_Lonely_Goatherd Good bloke Muttley79 nulli tertius chazwomaqAndrew97 Plantagenet Crown Fullofsurprises LiberOfLondon ecolierlondonmyst Sammylou40GlazJoinedup uberteknikPhoenixfeather99AngryJellyfish laurawattwinterscomingBlue_Cow RedTwisttoonervoustotalk Deggs_14 HRobson_BMCSinnoh SaDe7RogerOxonAnonymous1502 DrewskiQuasaParacosm The Usherette™ lyer in hellfyreMidge Bang Udder OrderProducktiveOndeKarelinaGreyWolfTooDr CoxPhantom 1517Dan0101026Soapusername5264250FV75mqb2766cambioTobelstienCoolBroStereoKjekjeSkittishNappLaserquestAleshabecausethenightOberonflyLovelyFoxProxyBuckHowlsHalfeti RoseWoooordabsolutelysproutMoonboChoc fanGhostladyCoolestMacyAmeliaLyndseyROTLRsxgewSameeraClaudiaDaveoNeviBlackCatFlobroLaurenceAnonymous1502Guru JasonLego Men OnJoyfulGeekMarkovHardy_BtgHannaRufusSynergy~Medic WilVanessaCnightingalegendVersionsBecca216Mr WillyjellyRetreadicossummerberrychopinnocMesopotGolderzshortieTashFionaandDonkeymnotzetamfctinygirlBlueIndigoVioletTJ1997DaryaJoyAstraPhoenixRoseWannaCambioAsaYunoouser11235813cleanseBexKorrasmorrasajilemonadeteatreblebeefox houndbbyooserJolesJustaboutmeddadCute KawaiiImperatorFatinespinningtopjoey srpugglet HellllppppScarletMillionsSir Rutlandtimespentjackpotu_w_DSKEdacba_w_HALLOONMickeyM&SS&FProperladFFFMehvijRam RYeoAeshaMarkWise GTinyPizzahomecounterPStevensAmeliab2PRich PCkentReading MumKing LouiswaxerAzureWindChlaminmate4DopticsDentaldreamsjustvisitedSocraticNikkiBHM365nm12345Leafysealonestercote1ojhungrysalBraindraindjinnsterArtfultinyBenjiHedgeyJoshwoodsniamhblobfishRaptorJKA_Pcoco:)TriplexBarbedwirelessjessicaMnonIraDozyJosennthkoinoII1LMayhemTalkativeDQpenguingirlBookworm524kizarkitoAgashii_AestheticIncomeinanotherSufys
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TriplexA
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#2
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#2
I'm diving into this thread and ready to make a splash!
Last edited by TriplexA; 1 month ago
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iL1L
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#3
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#3
sounds like all's going swimmingly so far
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bl0bf1sh
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#4
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#4
water wonderful world
peaty in the usa
a lane (elaine by abba)
eye of the tri-ger
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penguingirl18
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#5
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#5
Puns without relay!

Pool on the Hill
Swan (Dive) Lake
Kick and Stroke
The Magic Float
Crawl's Well That Ends Well
Tread Water Chili Peppers

One pun thread can cause many puns over time... it's the butterfly effect.
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the bear
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#6
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#6
(Original post by TriplexA)
I'm diving into this thread and ready to make a splash!
:woo: make sure you don't hit bl0b... oops :teehee:

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the bear
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Il1L)
sounds like all's going swimmingly so far
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Joinedup
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#8
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#8
Butterfly Stance - Neneh Cherry
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the bear
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#9
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#9
(Original post by bl0bf1sh)
water wonderful world
peaty in the usa
a lane (elaine by abba)
eye of the tri-ger
:rave: a fin selection Your Ladyship :girl:

the people of Crawley are lovin' it

Spoiler:
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This place is situated in Simons Town, Western Cape, South Africa, its geographical coordinates are 34° 8' 0" South, 18° 23' 0" East


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Dames, môreaand hou ons ons jaarlikse liefdadigheid-twerkathon
by die Winnie Mandela-parkour-sentrum.
Vanjaar gaan die opbrengs aan Professionele Trampolien-atlete in nood.
Soos jy jou kan voorstel, het hierdie dowwe manne
en dames baie gely tydens lockdown en dit.
Met jou hulp kan hulle terugbons.
As jy graag aan die dans wil deelneem, l
oer net by ontvangs en gesels met groot Merinda.
Die inskrywingsfooi is rand 45.
Dit sluit 'n bak Denningvleis en soveel Spook en Diesel in as wat jy kan drink.
As jy nie jou eie joga-broek het nie, kan jy 'n paar by groot M leen.
Sy maak hulle tuis van sebravel en lycra™.
Die knoppies is egte hiënatande.

Arnoux-Hansie Rynold Van Vollenhoven

Adjunk Assistent Bestuurder van dame dans en dit

Spoiler:
Show
Ladies, tomorrow evening we shall be holding
our annual charity twerkathon at the Winnie Mandela parkour center.
This year the proceeds will go to Professional Trampoline Athletes in need.
As you can imagine these doughty chaps and ladies
have suffered greatly during lockdown and that.
With your help they can bounce back.
If you would like to take part in the dancing,
just pop along to reception and have a chat with big Merinda.
The entry fee is rand 45.
This includes a bowl of Denningvleis
and as much Spook and Diesel as you can drink.
If you do not have your own yoga pants you can borrow a pair from big M.
She makes them at home from zebra skin and lycra™.
The buttons are genuine hyena teeth.

Arnoux-Hansie Rynold Van Vollenhoven

Deputy Assistant Manager of lady dancing and that
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Joinedup
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#10
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#10
Speedo Las Vegas - Elvis Presley
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hungrysalamander
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#11
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#11
(Original post by Il1L)
sounds like all's going swimmingly so far
Looks like you've treadded into FH territory
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the bear
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#12
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#12
(Original post by penguingirl18)
Puns without relay!

Pool on the Hill
Swan (Dive) Lake
Kick and Stroke
The Magic Float
Crawl's Well That Ends Well
Tread Water Chili Peppers

One pun thread can cause many puns over time... it's the butterfly effect.
:rave: good work Your Ladyship :girl:

Crawl's Well That Ends Well is especially mirthsome

the people of Crawley are clutching their waterwings :rofl:

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Dames,
dalk het jy jou kappie misgelê ?
Groot Dolinde die giermeisie het een gekry
vroeg vanoggend agter die ossehok.
Dit was langs 'n heer se mokorotlo.
As jy hierdie item wil herwin
loer net saam ontvangs toe en kry
'n diskrete geselsie met groot Marene.
Sy kyk daarna in haar spesiale kas,
saam met baie ander tradisionele hoofbedekking-items,
musiekinstrumente en die meganiese meerkat.
Miskien sal jy verkies om die vlekke te verwyder
van jou kappie af voordat jy dit weer aansit ?
Vra net groot M vir 'n leen van haar Pledge™ 2-in-1 spuit
en die familie grootte brillo pad.

Zander Phillippus Van Der Smering

Adjunk Assistent Bestuurder van vermiste goed en dat

Spoiler:
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Ladies,
perhaps you have mislaid your kappie ?
Big Dolinde the millet girl found one
early this morning behind the oxpen.
It was next to a gentleman's mokorotlo.
If you would like to retrieve this item
just pop along to reception and have
a discreet chat with big Marene.
She is looking after it in her special cupboard,
along with many other traditional headwear items,
musical instruments and the mechanical meerkat.
Maybe you would prefer to remove the stains
from your kappie before popping it back on ?
Just ask big M for a lend of her Pledge™ 2-in-1 spray
and the family size brillo pad.

Zander Phillippus Van Der Smering

Deputy Assistant Manager of missing things and that
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the bear
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Joinedup)
Butterfly Stance - Neneh Cherry

Speedo Las Vegas - Elvis Presley
:woo: great work Sir J ! :yay:

#2 is very impressive :congrats:

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marchag
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#14
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#14
Brothers in Arm(band)s
Those well known Abba songs - The Swimmer Takes It All, Water(po)lo
Mission Swimpossible
Lifeguardians of the Galaxy
Lord of the rubberRings
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Cote1
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#15
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#15
To Surf With Love
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nulli tertius
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#16
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#16
Five Go to Budgie Smugglers Top

100 metres Papillon

Bridge over Open Water
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the bear
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#17
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#17
(Original post by marchag)
Brothers in Arm(band)s
Those well known Abba songs - The Swimmer Takes It All, Water(po)lo
Mission Swimpossible
Lifeguardians of the Galaxy
Lord of the rubberRings
:woo: good work march ... it's going swimmingly :yay:

#1 made me chortle :teehee:

the people of Crawley are experiencing a magnitude 3.2 mirthquake :afraid:

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Here,
dalk het jy jou mokorotlo misgelê?
Groot Dolinde die giermeisie het een gekry
vroeg vanoggend agter die ossehok.
Dit was langs 'n dame se kappie.
As jy hierdie item wil herwin
loer net saam ontvangs toe en kry
'n diskrete geselsie met groot Marene.
Sy kyk daarna in haar spesiale kas,
saam met baie ander tradisionele hoofbedekking-items,
musiekinstrumente en die meganiese meerkat.
Miskien sal jy verkies om die vlekke te verwyder
van jou mokorotlo af voordat jy dit weer aansit?
Vra net groot M vir 'n leen van haar Cillit Bang™-spuit
en die stewige skropborsel.

Zander Phillippus Van Der Smering

Adjunk Assistent Bestuurder van vermiste goed en dat

Spoiler:
Show
Gentlemen,
perhaps you have mislaid your mokorotlo ?
Big Dolinde the millet girl found one
early this morning behind the oxpen.
It was next to a lady's kappie.
If you would like to retrieve this item
just pop along to reception and have
a discreet chat with big Marene.
She is looking after it in her special cupboard,
along with many other traditional headwear items,
musical instruments and the mechanical meerkat.
Maybe you would prefer to remove the stains
from your mokorotlo before popping it back on ?
Just ask big M for a lend of her Cillit Bang™ spray
and the sturdy scrubbing brush.

Zander Phillippus Van Der Smering

Deputy Assistant Manager of missing things and that
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the bear
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Cote1)
To Surf With Love
:rave: winner winner :chicken: dinner :girl:

this is a classic :congrats:

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the bear
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#19
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#19
(Original post by nulli tertius)
Five Go to Budgie Smugglers Top

100 metres Papillon

Bridge over Open Water
:woo: a fine selection Sir Nulli ! :yay:

#1 is genius :congrats:

the people of Crawley are spilling their Umqombothi :afraid:

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Here,
môreaand hou ons ons jaarlikse koekkompetisie
by die Mahatma Gandhi-park en ry.
Bring asseblief nie meer as twee volgrootte koeke saam nie
of 'n halfdosyn feetjiekoeke en dit.
Die eerste prys sal 'n week se vakansie in Lesotho wees.
Die tweede prys sal twee weke daar wees.
As jy wil deelneem, loer gerus saam na ontvangs
en gesels met groot Marchelle.
Die toegangsfooi is rand 103 wat 'n nuwigheidshoed insluit
met jou naam op en 'n klein sakkie biltong.
Alle koeke sal deur die reëlingskomitee behou word
en mettertyd aan behoeftiges uitgedeel word.

Jengo-Nelius Van Der Broeksak

Adjunk Assistent Kommissaris vir koeke en dit

Spoiler:
Show
Gentlemen,
tomorrow evening we shall be holding our annual cake competition
at the Mahatma Gandhi park and ride .
Please bring along no more than two full size cakes
or half a dozen fairy cakes and that.
The first prize will be a week's holiday in Lesotho.
The second prize will be two weeks there.
If you would like to take part just pop along to reception
and have a chat with big Marchelle.
The entry fee is rand 103 which includes a novelty hat
with your name on and a small bag of biltong.
All cakes shall be retained by the organising committee
and distributed to the needy in due course.

Jengo-Nelius Van Der Broeksak

Deputy Assistant Commissioner for cakes and that
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