Does this guy genuinely like me or only wants sex?

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theendisnear
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#1
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#1
So me and this guy have been friends for a while and I told him I liked him and he said he liked me back. Because of my own personal values and religion I refuse to have sex before marriage and when I told him this he said sex is a very important part of a relationship and it won't work out long term. I said I would do everything else other than sex in terms of getting intimate there are other things other than sex but no it wasn't enough for him. So I don't think he truly liked me but just wanted to have s*x, I mean you guys give me your opinions and tell me what you think
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Anonymous #1
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Sex is an important part of a relationship for a lot of guys. Guys are allowed to have their own values in a relationship. He values sex and you don't, so clearly you have some incompatibilities. A lot of guys need to relieve their you know what, (girls probably too, I wouldn't know that), but yeah, sex is a normal part of a relationship. He has to relieve his tension somewhere and you're holding him off. Look for a guy who has a much lower sex drive.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sex is an important part of a relationship for a lot of guys. Guys are allowed to have their own values in a relationship. He values sex and you don't, so clearly you have some incompatibilities. A lot of guys need to relieve their you know what, (girls probably too, I wouldn't know that), but yeah, sex is a normal part of a relationship. He has to relieve his tension somewhere and you're holding him off. Look for a guy who has a much lower sex drive.
Theres other ways for a guy to relieve his tension other than sex, like handjobs for example
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theendisnear
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sex is an important part of a relationship for a lot of guys. Guys are allowed to have their own values in a relationship. He values sex and you don't, so clearly you have some incompatibilities. A lot of guys need to relieve their you know what, (girls probably too, I wouldn't know that), but yeah, sex is a normal part of a relationship. He has to relieve his tension somewhere and you're holding him off. Look for a guy who has a much lower sex drive.
What I don't understand is that this guy wasn't getting any action anyway, not to sound big headed but i am miles better looking than him, the fact I would agree to do other things other than sex was that not enough? How am I holding him back if hes not getting any regardless?
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by theendisnear)
What I don't understand is that this guy wasn't getting any action anyway, not to sound big headed but i am miles better looking than him, the fact I would agree to do other things other than sex was that not enough? How am I holding him back if hes not getting any regardless?
He said it's not enough, so it's not enough. Just because he wasn't getting any action before doesn't mean that he doesn't want any action now. He finds you attractive and probably gets turned on, so he wants to have sex, but you're not letting him, so idk. Eventually he's going to run off to another woman who will allow him to do things.
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anosmianAcrimony
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#6
They're not mutually exclusive, actually. It's very possible he does genuinely like you, but he also wants a relationship that includes sex. That's a perfectly reasonable thing to want, and also a perfectly reasonable thing for you to not want. It doesn't seem like you're compatible with each other.
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aliaa03
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assuming all these comments came from males ?

if the guy really did like you then he’d be able to wait and be patient until you feel comfortable with it, ESPECIALLY as you’ve said you’re open to other things. if he’s really that desperate to have sex rather than being able to hang out and enjoy your company and do other things then clearly he’s not the one and you also both obviously have different values. you can do better !
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randompanda_
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you shouldn't ever do something your uncomfortable with, like the post said above if he really did like you he wouldn't push you to things you're uncomfortable with, there's nothing wrong in wanting that and if you keep searching you may find the one
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Anonymous #4
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I also used to be waiting for sex before marriage. Unfortunately, many people who aren't religious do see sex as a fundamental part of a relationship and foreplay isn't enough. I don't believe that he just wanted you for sex; I think that many people may see sex in a relationship as a requirement for it to work long term. He should respect your decision but ultimately he can decide whether or not it's for him. I think it's good that he's thinking ahead as it saves you both the heartache in the future.

Good luck and keep your values close
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Anonymous #5
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(Original post by aliaa03)
assuming all these comments came from males ?

if the guy really did like you then he’d be able to wait and be patient until you feel comfortable with it, ESPECIALLY as you’ve said you’re open to other things. if he’s really that desperate to have sex rather than being able to hang out and enjoy your company and do other things then clearly he’s not the one and you also both obviously have different values. you can do better !
I totally agree with this comment! Painfully clear that all the anon posts previous to this comment are from guys.

Like this person said - if they valued you as a person, they would at least be willing to have a better, more open conversation about it rather than seemingly stamping their foot down and insisting that that's what they want.
I also think it's an age/maturity thing. I think teens/young adults are more likely to think with their ***** (although obvs I'm generalising quite a bit here lol), so finding a guy who has the same values as you at a younger age may be difficult.

Don't let this turn you away from your own values. You WILL find the right person who will want to respect you and your values/morals/wishes... but unfortunately it just doesn't sound like he's the one for now.
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tazarooni89
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#11
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(Original post by theendisnear)
So me and this guy have been friends for a while and I told him I liked him and he said he liked me back. Because of my own personal values and religion I refuse to have sex before marriage and when I told him this he said sex is a very important part of a relationship and it won't work out long term. I said I would do everything else other than sex in terms of getting intimate there are other things other than sex but no it wasn't enough for him. So I don't think he truly liked me but just wanted to have s*x, I mean you guys give me your opinions and tell me what you think
If someone actually likes you for reasons other than sex, then it seems logical to me to think that even without sex, they would still enjoy your company and want to be involved with you in some way - even if that just means remaining friends for now.

The same goes for anything really. If you're ever wondering "does this person only like me because of X", see how they are towards you if you're not doing X.
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Justvisited
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
He values sex and you don't
F.
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xox416
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#13
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Girls come in abundance.
He may like you but knows long term there might be someone else more compatible for him. I applaud him for recognizing that and not wasting his time and yours...because he could string you along and use you for the other things you are offering if he was a real "bad guy".
Last edited by xox416; 1 month ago
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