In love again. But she she thinks I'm dim and boring

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
and she's right
but she's so beautiful and smart and lovely and full of life and love
I wish I was more like her, I wish I really cared about something and didn't have to drag myself through everything unwillingly
when did life get so hard and when did I become so stolid and dull
I wish I had wings again
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Mentalhealth*12
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#2
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#2
I mean you're pretty good at poetry.

If she's calling you "dim and boring," that's the sort of comment that would make me reclassify a person from a friend to an enemy. I certainly wouldn't be calling them "lovely" and "full of love." That's delusional.
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Anonymous #1
#3
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(Original post by Mentalhealth*12)
I mean you're pretty good at poetry.

If she's calling you "dim and boring," that's the sort of comment that would make me reclassify a person from a friend to an enemy. I certainly wouldn't be calling them "lovely" and "full of love." That's delusional.
no she didn't say that to me, but it's how I assume she must think of me
I'm so thick and awkward and mute around her
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Lina_24518
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
no she didn't say that to me, but it's how I assume she must think of me
I'm so thick and awkward and mute around her
Sometimes that’s just peoples personality , and if she loves you for you and hasn’t complained (which honestly in this day and age if people have a problem they say it bluntly to one’s face) then you shouldn’t overthink your own self , self love before thinking about how others feel about you
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Anonymous #1
#5
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#5
(Original post by Lina_24518)
Sometimes that’s just peoples personality , and if she loves you for you and hasn’t complained (which honestly in this day and age if people have a problem they say it bluntly to one’s face) then you shouldn’t overthink your own self , self love before thinking about how others feel about you
If that was really my personality I would kms right now... I'm not really like that, only when I'm nervous around people I don't know well or have a crush on
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Mentalhealth*12
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#6
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#6
Try thinking of one topic to talk about and expanding from there. Travel is a pretty good one to talk about considering it's summer.

Even if this doesn't work out, try and be passionate about something. It is true that women are attracted to men who are passionate about their interests.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
(Original post by Mentalhealth*12)
Try thinking of one topic to talk about and expanding from there. Travel is a pretty good one to talk about considering it's summer.

Even if this doesn't work out, try and be passionate about something. It is true that women are attracted to men who are passionate about their interests.
I'm actually a girl and i feel like travel is too mundane...
I'm just no good at anything anymore I used to sketch and paint a lot but I stopped cos I felt rly depressed in the pandemic...
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Mentalhealth*12
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#8
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm actually a girl and i feel like travel is too mundane...
I'm just no good at anything anymore I used to sketch and paint a lot but I stopped cos I felt rly depressed in the pandemic...
Travel is something everyone does, which is why it's always a good topic. If you talk about something they're not into, the conversation is going to turn stale. That's why passion is so important. Even if they don't understand what you're saying, they can see the passion. Most women like art, so I'd definitely try and build from there. You could try sketching something and asking her to colour it for you. Invite her to an art museum. That sort of thing.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
(Original post by Mentalhealth*12)
Travel is something everyone does, which is why it's always a good topic. If you talk about something they're not into, the conversation is going to turn stale. That's why passion is so important. Even if they don't understand what you're saying, they can see the passion. Most women like art, so I'd definitely try and build from there. You could try sketching something and asking her to colour it for you. Invite her to an art museum. That sort of thing.
yeah true, she does sketch too
I just found out she has a girlfriend though...
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Mentalhealth*12
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
yeah true, she does sketch too
I just found out she has a girlfriend though...
Dissociate from her then. You're only going to hurt yourself. If you want to still be friends, hyperfocus on her negatives until the feelings are gone. If that doesn't work, you can always come back in a couple of months when the feelings naturally dissipate if you want her in your life as a friend.
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
(Original post by Mentalhealth*12)
Dissociate from her then. You're only going to hurt yourself. If you want to still be friends, hyperfocus on her negatives until the feelings are gone. If that doesn't work, you can always come back in a couple of months when the feelings naturally dissipate if you want her in your life as a friend.
I have a 3 person class with her every week and we have lectures together :dong: I genuinely can't think of a single flaw she has as well. That's not just creepy idealisation either, she's just very amazing and everyone loves her
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Mentalhealth*12
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
I have a 3 person class with her every week and we have lectures together :dong: I genuinely can't think of a single flaw she has as well. That's not just creepy idealisation either, she's just very amazing and everyone loves her
Nothing you can do then. Trial by fire. All I can say is that it does get better. I would encourage men in that situation to go to the gym to work out their frustrations, but I don't know what a woman would do.
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Anonymous #2
#13
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#13
hey bestie. consider finding a hobby so youre not so dim and boring. also, maybe get some therapy to improve that self esteem of yours - you should know youre worth a lot more than you think you are also, we think you should go into poetry. what you wrote was really sweet - we wish someone would write something like that for us. stay slaying queen xoxo
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Anonymous #1
#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
hey bestie. consider finding a hobby so youre not so dim and boring. also, maybe get some therapy to improve that self esteem of yours - you should know youre worth a lot more than you think you are also, we think you should go into poetry. what you wrote was really sweet - we wish someone would write something like that for us. stay slaying queen xoxo
Aw thanks for the advice and encouragement:banana:
How many of you are writing this btw??

Also would you recommend any hobbies in particular? xx
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Anonymous #2
#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
Aw thanks for the advice and encouragement:banana:
How many of you are writing this btw??

Also would you recommend any hobbies in particular? xx
you're actually so sweet! its two of us like we said earlier we really think you should get into poetry or creative writing - maybe start by reading some of the classics? we both take english lit and while poetry is our least favourite component, we have to say we have seriously grown to appreciate the work of some of the romantics! we would recommend starting with Lord Byron because his work is accessible and relatively easy to read while having a LOT to get into if you want to analyse it!

We also recommend maybe taking a sport like tennis, or a martial arts class - those can be fun, stress-relieving, and really good to meet new people and build confidence. plus it expands your skill set!

Even if those two don't work out, dont lose hope! just keep exploring - you'll find your niche eventually and itll all be worth it
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Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
you're actually so sweet! its two of us like we said earlier we really think you should get into poetry or creative writing - maybe start by reading some of the classics? we both take english lit and while poetry is our least favourite component, we have to say we have seriously grown to appreciate the work of some of the romantics! we would recommend starting with Lord Byron because his work is accessible and relatively easy to read while having a LOT to get into if you want to analyse it!

We also recommend maybe taking a sport like tennis, or a martial arts class - those can be fun, stress-relieving, and really good to meet new people and build confidence. plus it expands your skill set!

Even if those two don't work out, dont lose hope! just keep exploring - you'll find your niche eventually and itll all be worth it
Thanks x you two seem lovely too

I'll try getting into creative writing and reading more. I love Jane Austen and DH Lawrence and some Dostoevsky actually, and my degree is literature based
I'm trying out for a small production of a shakespeare play next week so that should be interesting
Hope you both have a nice week (:
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Anonymous #2
#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
Thanks x you two seem lovely too

I'll try getting into creative writing and reading more. I love Jane Austen and DH Lawrence and some Dostoevsky actually, and my degree is literature based
I'm trying out for a small production of a shakespeare play next week so that should be interesting
Hope you both have a nice week (:
Wait no way! One of us is studying comparative or english literature next year (we're doing our a levels right now)!
We hope you get the part!! You'll be fantastic

Hope you have a lovely week as well!
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