University is socially and mentally taxing? Other students give me anxiety

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
I started University during the pandemic. I thrived from being able to work from home. I was really unlocking my true potential. I was the smartest in the class and I excelled in my studies whilst everyone else in the class really struggled.

But now that classes are in real life I am now starting to fail classes because I find University mentally, socially and physically taxing. The whole class has surpassed me and I am now bottom of the class and really struggling to keep up with the others. It makes me so sad.

I believe the reason I went from top to bottom is because I feel so anxious in class.

I hate having to socialize and do group work, I hate the study environment, I hate being constantly pestered from classmates when trying to get into my rhythm/zone.

As soon as I see my class mates I get a sudden surge of stress ....because I know they will ask me for help, force me to work on something else when I had planned on studying something else that day, need to waste time being polite and listen to them talk, make me work on individual assignments together with them, argue with me because they don't understand something and I need to try and explain it to them, peer over my shoulder every 5 seconds to ask what I am doing and asking to see my work.

And 80-90 percent of the work is group work so it every day I am forced to be in this situation. And I just freeze and stare at my computer in extreme stress for the entire school day and do nothing. When I get home I collapse and fall asleep from exhaustion and therefore don't do any studies.

What can I do?
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Muttly
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#2
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I think I would go and see your tutor and have a chat about how you feel. Group work is so regressive these days.

See what options there are for you to do online work or work away from the group?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Muttly)
I think I would go and see your tutor and have a chat about how you feel. Group work is so regressive these days.

See what options there are for you to do online work or work away from the group?
I told my mentor teacher I had problems (I didn't tell about my social anxiety but about a specific situation where all the students in my team were making me do all of their work) and his response to that was that I was the problem. So I contacted a counsellor and they told me to quit school. So I contacted the second counsellor and they refused to talk with me. So I contacted the facilitator teacher and they said it wasn't their problem. So I tried looking into the student psychologist and they say the waiting list is months long and you only get 3 sessions.

My school is AWFUL but I moved abroad to study this course so I cannot just quit, there has been to much sacrifice for this.

I need to find a way to handle this myself...but I don't know what I can do...all I know is I feel overwhelmed being surrounded by students all day long especially as so many are nosey and leaning over my shoulder 24/7 asking what I am doing and watching my every move...I have no idea what to do...I cannot skip classes, but coming to classes means always having to endure this horrible situation which makes me panic and therefore my grades are diminishing.
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Muttly
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#4
Firstly go and see your doctor and get some advice for coping with anxiety.

Go back to your tutors and ask them exactly how you are the 'problem' and ask what it is that you need to do to resolve this?

But - something isn't right here. If you were bottom of the class your co-students wouldn't give a stuff about what you were doing. Clearly what you do is of interest to them. A lot of learning is by plagiarising other people's ideas. Adapt to your learning environment and practice being flexible in what you learn. Make basic notes if you are pressured; catch up later.

You will always have the capability to have new ideas. Others won't. Your mindset will kill off what ever advantage you had over anyone else so in some respects your tutor is right. You have to learn how to manage and deal with this and get on.

In your head compartmentalise the different activities or things that you do. Presumably you have individual laptops to work from so your work or activity is alone? You don't say what subject you are studying either?

First you state that you are at Uni and later in your post you talk about being at school? So I am not sure that your post is entirely accurate or true and that some of this is perhaps embellished somewhat to suit your own agenda?

Life is as it is. The people who get on in life are those that adapt to ever changing environments. Make a plan of all the information and study subjects you have, just score them off as smaller individual components of a bigger picture.
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StriderHort
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I'm just going to glibly say that you sound like you have some serious mental health issues beyond the help of a university lecturer or helper. If the existence of other humans and noise bothers you THIS much, to the extent of it almost sounding like some kind of persecution complex (I honestly doubt your classmates a\re being as intrusive as you imply) then I can kind of understand why the staff response is that this is a 'you' problem and even that you might be better leaving....

If you claim to hate other people and group work as much as you do, what would you be expecting anyone else to really DO about that? They're not going to give you a private course of your own, and they're not going to send everyone else home... so all that's really left is you improving your social skills and resilience or leaving.
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Anonymous #1
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I said school as a slip of the tongue since I am so used to saying school...since I have just finished sixth form not extremely long ago (which was still at my secondary school) so I am used to say school because most of my life has been at school...no agenda there.

People peer over my laptop and always demand to see my work since I was the best student (as I mentioned) and people still think I am, they don't realize that everything is going down hill for me now...so no agenda.

Yes, I know I am not perfect, and there is a problem with me and I need to learn coping strategies that is why I messaged here...no agenda.

If I want to be helped with the actual situation I am in, how would is benefit me to embellish, how can someone give decent feedback if I made a fabricated story, why would I waste time making up stories....no agenda.


You know this is the mental health forum right...I am just looking for advice to manage my stress for a course that has high levels of group work beyond what I am used to from secondary school and sixth form which was largely individual study, that is all...really, I have no agenda.
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HWU StudentRep 2
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I said school as a slip of the tongue since I am so used to saying school...since I have just finished sixth form not extremely long ago (which was still at my secondary school) so I am used to say school because most of my life has been at school...no agenda there.

People peer over my laptop and always demand to see my work since I was the best student (as I mentioned) and people still think I am, they don't realize that everything is going down hill for me now...so no agenda.

Yes, I know I am not perfect, and there is a problem with me and I need to learn coping strategies that is why I messaged here...no agenda.

If I want to be helped with the actual situation I am in, how would is benefit me to embellish, how can someone give decent feedback if I made a fabricated story, why would I waste time making up stories....no agenda.


You know this is the mental health forum right...I am just looking for advice to manage my stress for a course that has high levels of group work beyond what I am used to from secondary school and sixth form which was largely individual study, that is all...really, I have no agenda.
Hi,

I also really struggled with getting used to working in groups at University and also the whole University environment! For me I found it helpful talking to those I was friendly with and close to so I could see what they thought. Also at our university we have a well-being cafe and message board to talk to someone from it. So maybe look and see if your University has one and talk to somebody there. Hope this helps!

Matthew
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