Help!! My muslim brother was caught watching p**n by my mum

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Anonymous #1
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Salaam my brothers and sisters, I made this account in a hurry and in spite of wanting answers. I'm 17 (f) my brother is 19 (m) he was caught not too long ago by my mother who is a religious traditional asian woman- he was caught looking at naked animated girls who were wearing nothing but flimsy underwear. I am shock and i'm upset, and my mother has gone to the length of saying he is no longer her son. My brother admitted he's been begging our God, ALLAH for forgiveness for years, and has wanted to stop but has been struggling. I take this as a blessing, that ALLAH is allowing him to finally stop as him getting caught is definitely a wake up sign for him. My brother isn't perfect, but from the outside he is considered a 'good' muslim, he prays everyday he was apparently religious. I have faith he can stop, my mum however believes he's a disgusting human, please help! If my father finds out he will murder my brother, how can I persuade my mother to forgive my brother and give him a chance since he desperately wants to change and stop. I am afraid our family has been destroyed.

P.S for the none muslims, watching anything that views another human naked or inappropriate is considered a heavy sin. Basically viewing p**n, watching or even having dirty thoughts is considered a sin, one which causes displeasure in our Lord.
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PinkMobilePhone
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#2
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Anybody that would disown their own son is sinner themselves if you ask me.
You say your father will murder your brother? Is murder not a sin in your religion? It certainly is in mine.
Where's the forgiveness and love?

Sorry but this is some twisted perspective if you ask me.

Just to add, if your father really is likely to violently attack your brother, you should be informing the police.
Last edited by PinkMobilePhone; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #2
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Islam is all about forgiveness, your father can't murder your brother that's so wrong, even with your mother try to explain to them that Islam's about forgiveness and mercy, and that we all make mistakes he's not the only one. I feel like its more the culture that has to do with this rather than Islam, but try talk to them.
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Son of the Sea
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It sounds to me that the real sinners in this situation are your parents and their disgusting attitude.
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sufys
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(Original post by Son of the Sea)
It sounds to me that the real sinners in this situation are your parents and their disgusting attitude.
PRSOM.
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Anonymous #1
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Sorry I didn't mean my dad would literally murder him. But I know my dad would be absolutely disgusted and angry at him, since for years both my parents have educated my brother on Islamic views of such matters, and they had trusted him with everything. My dad and my brother are extremely close perhaps be known as best friends, I know if my mum tells my dad- he will have no mercy it will tear our family apart.
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Anonymous #3
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Agree with anon 2.

We're all human and noone is perfect so remind politely remind your mum about this. Islam is about forgiveness and as you're brother is praying and wanting to change then Allah may forgive him. Your parents (and we as humans) have no right to judge who's a good or bad Muslim and whether they can or cannot change to become a better one.
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Son of the Sea
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Sorry I didn't mean my dad would literally murder him. But I know my dad would be absolutely disgusted and angry at him, since for years both my parents have educated my brother on Islamic views of such matters, and they had trusted him with everything. My dad and my brother are extremely close perhaps be known as best friends, I know if my mum tells my dad- he will have no mercy it will tear our family apart.
If your family can be torn apart by something as insignificant and as minor as a 19-year-old watching porn (which is completely normal btw) then there was no true unity in your family to begin with.
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randompanda_
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honestly i think the main problem here is cultural not to do with Islam, because Islam is about mercy, it's all about keeping family ties not breaking them, if you don't think your father will understand maybe try tell your mum not to tell him, but its completely wrong to disown him for this
Last edited by randompanda_; 1 month ago
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sufys
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(Original post by Son of the Sea)
If your family can be torn apart by something as insignificant and as minor as a 19-year-old watching porn (which is completely normal btw) then there was no true unity in your family to begin with.
Not that it's okay for a Muslim, but it would be unusual for a 19 year old to not watch porn.
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Anonymous #1
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I've tried telling my mum that there is a chance he will change, it's too early to know what she'll do i'm praying that she forgives him and allows him to change rather than bring this up to my father who will only make matters worse. Like I mentioned our family is religious, therefore even something like this has a serious consequence in our household, since in Islam it is considered haram and to some they consider the eyes committing Zina..
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imscareddaddy
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I know it's really hard but sister you need to explain to your mum to cut the judging and these reactions because yes I can understand why it has hurt her but Allah created us with free will so we are not perfect in our deeds, which is also the reason we have tawbah. As you said he is repenting and repenting which maashaa allah is good, he understands what he has done wrong and sincerely wants forgiveness and this is what Allah loves, we are all sinners but these are the best of sinners. She needs to forgive your brother for what he has done because at the end Allah is the one who will judge us all for our actions so the best she could do is pray for your brother too.
I totally understand why she would be like this because if the same happened to me I don't even want to imagine what would happen. My family is also a traditional asian muslim one but I feel explaining to her from a religious perspective will help her realise that she simply cannot dwell on this forever, otherwise it quite literally will tear your family apart.
May Allah forgive your brother for his actions and shower his mercy upon him and your family. I pray the situation drastically improves.
Salaam
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Omannnae
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lol as if your father has never watched it.
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WonniesWonder
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(Original post by Omannnae)
lol as if your father has never watched it.
I pray he hasn't InshaAllah.
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WonniesWonder
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(Original post by imscareddaddy)
I know it's really hard but sister you need to explain to your mum to cut the judging and these reactions because yes I can understand why it has hurt her but Allah created us with free will so we are not perfect in our deeds, which is also the reason we have tawbah. As you said he is repenting and repenting which maashaa allah is good, he understands what he has done wrong and sincerely wants forgiveness and this is what Allah loves, we are all sinners but these are the best of sinners. She needs to forgive your brother for what he has done because at the end Allah is the one who will judge us all for our actions so the best she could do is pray for your brother too.
I totally understand why she would be like this because if the same happened to me I don't even want to imagine what would happen. My family is also a traditional asian muslim one but I feel explaining to her from a religious perspective will help her realise that she simply cannot dwell on this forever, otherwise it quite literally will tear your family apart.
May Allah forgive your brother for his actions and shower his mercy upon him and your family. I pray the situation drastically improves.
Salaam
Thank you!! This was one of the best replies, you understand my mums perspective but also the broad situations reality. InshaAllah just pray for me and my family, I am praying my brother stops- and I pray my mum understands
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Son of the Sea
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^ You forgot to click anon…
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WonniesWonder
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(Original post by Son of the Sea)
^ You forgot to click anon…
I know..I realised too late but its fine
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Scorchered
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#18
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Yeah same with my mother

she caught me watching a movie where two lovely ladies popped their melons out for show on my laptop

my mother had a look on her face like she was about to have a cardiac arrest and I had to explain it was just a movie

Idk what is wrong with them having sexual urges is normal

and its not as if they don't have them

we all know religious zealots are the kinkiest
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WonniesWonder
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#19
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i dont think TSR is the best place to ask or find the answer your looking for
Problem is, idk where else to go, i went on reddit found a muslim subreddit and it wouldn't let me post since my account was too young, I don't know this was the only place that came to mind and let me post
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WonniesWonder
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#20
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(Original post by Quady)
It's good you think it's fine. But what if he needs to exert his sexual force over you?
Oh I was actually talking about the fact I turned anon off- but of course I don't think its fine that hes doing what he's doing I know its normal, but definitely prohibited in our religion so i'm against it, and I have faith he would never do something like that to me, or well I pray so
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