Constant rejection

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I’ve been single for a while now, and I keep getting rejected, which has really knocked my confidence. I don’t really know what this post is, I guess it’s partly venting and partly needing reassurance…

When I catch feelings for someone (even slightly) I’m not afraid to tell them, and I think that’s my downfall - I really struggle to befriend someone I’m attracted to, instead I just fall for them before I’ve really spoken to them much. I do speak to them a bit before telling them I like them though, just to be sure that my feelings are genuine. Recently though, I’ve been getting some kinda bad reactions.

The past three times I’ve liked someone, they’ve not been so friendly. The first one, I got his number and he was alright for a while, but he’s always been slow to respond and these past couple of months, he’s almost stopped completely. I don’t like him like that anymore (he’s still cute but it’s been long enough that I’ve moved on) so it’s not that bad but it just hurts to feel like I’ve lost a friend. I really like him, he’s been a good friend, but I don’t think he likes me at all.

The second one was friendly until I said I liked him and hasn’t spoken to me since. I don’t have feelings for him anymore either, having realised that he’s perhaps not as kind as I thought he was.

My current crush is in my friend group, she’s female (I’m bi) and I was pretty sure she wasn’t straight so I told her how I felt and she responded with her number - pretty good, huh? Anyway, we spoke for ages that evening, but she seemed distant and annoyed after that first day. She glances my way occasionally, but when I went up and said hi to her the other day, she looked at me briefly but ignored me. I haven’t texted her in a few days and she’s made no effort to say anything either.

One of her close friends is also one of my close friends and he keeps trying to make me jealous. Ever since he found out I liked her, he brags about how he needs to go and meet her or how they spend hours on call every day and he knows I don’t like it but he won’t stop. He insists their relationship is purely platonic (I’m pretty sure he’s telling the truth, actually) and that he’s just known her for a long time, but he never mentioned her before I liked her, and he can’t even spell her name! He kept telling me I was spelling it wrong, but I’ve triple checked and I’m definitely right, I spell it the same way she does.

I care so much about people close to me, but whenever I fall for someone, I feel like they just think I’m weird. I’m autistic and use they/them pronouns so I’m different to most people. I know I’m not attractive but I’m starting to feel like nobody will reciprocate when I like them. Nobody’s ever attracted to me, and most of the people who are have been people I met online - I don’t really want a long distance relationship, it’s more effort than it’s worth.

It’s stupid, I know it is, but I feel ready to start dating again and just knowing that nobody is attracted to me shatters my self esteem. I’ve gained a lot of confidence recently and started speaking to a lot more people, but I don’t fall for anyone very often and people don’t fall for me, so overall I’ve not managed to find anyone who meets my standards and actually wants to go on a date.

I’m sorry that was so long but thank you if you read this far
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Shawn6
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been single for a while now, and I keep getting rejected, which has really knocked my confidence. I don’t really know what this post is, I guess it’s partly venting and partly needing reassurance…

When I catch feelings for someone (even slightly) I’m not afraid to tell them, and I think that’s my downfall - I really struggle to befriend someone I’m attracted to, instead I just fall for them before I’ve really spoken to them much. I do speak to them a bit before telling them I like them though, just to be sure that my feelings are genuine. Recently though, I’ve been getting some kinda bad reactions.

The past three times I’ve liked someone, they’ve not been so friendly. The first one, I got his number and he was alright for a while, but he’s always been slow to respond and these past couple of months, he’s almost stopped completely. I don’t like him like that anymore (he’s still cute but it’s been long enough that I’ve moved on) so it’s not that bad but it just hurts to feel like I’ve lost a friend. I really like him, he’s been a good friend, but I don’t think he likes me at all.

The second one was friendly until I said I liked him and hasn’t spoken to me since. I don’t have feelings for him anymore either, having realised that he’s perhaps not as kind as I thought he was.

My current crush is in my friend group, she’s female (I’m bi) and I was pretty sure she wasn’t straight so I told her how I felt and she responded with her number - pretty good, huh? Anyway, we spoke for ages that evening, but she seemed distant and annoyed after that first day. She glances my way occasionally, but when I went up and said hi to her the other day, she looked at me briefly but ignored me. I haven’t texted her in a few days and she’s made no effort to say anything either.

One of her close friends is also one of my close friends and he keeps trying to make me jealous. Ever since he found out I liked her, he brags about how he needs to go and meet her or how they spend hours on call every day and he knows I don’t like it but he won’t stop. He insists their relationship is purely platonic (I’m pretty sure he’s telling the truth, actually) and that he’s just known her for a long time, but he never mentioned her before I liked her, and he can’t even spell her name! He kept telling me I was spelling it wrong, but I’ve triple checked and I’m definitely right, I spell it the same way she does.

I care so much about people close to me, but whenever I fall for someone, I feel like they just think I’m weird. I’m autistic and use they/them pronouns so I’m different to most people. I know I’m not attractive but I’m starting to feel like nobody will reciprocate when I like them. Nobody’s ever attracted to me, and most of the people who are have been people I met online - I don’t really want a long distance relationship, it’s more effort than it’s worth.

It’s stupid, I know it is, but I feel ready to start dating again and just knowing that nobody is attracted to me shatters my self esteem. I’ve gained a lot of confidence recently and started speaking to a lot more people, but I don’t fall for anyone very often and people don’t fall for me, so overall I’ve not managed to find anyone who meets my standards and actually wants to go on a date.

I’m sorry that was so long but thank you if you read this far
I understand how you feel. I'm a bisexual male and I've had a lot of people reject me. I use to be really upset from it, but now I've just been like "ok, that's fair." I don't really think of myself as attractive, but my friend says I'm not bad for a guy. (he's a straight male)
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Feastful
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#3
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#3
Do you look for signals that the other person is likely very interested in you too before you confess? Because I don't really get that vibe from your post.

It does sound like you wear your heart on your sleeve a lot.

If you're developing feelings for people all the time, its important to slow down and think about things like whether your standards in others is high enough, whether you're really getting to know the people you're falling for (everyone has faults/flaws, but are you picking up on those?) or whether you are projecting too much. Consider too how much are your hormones are affecting your decision making processes. I'm not saying that you are taking things too quick, but if you are falling for people very deeply who have no interest in you like that, falling for people regularly or finding yourself having no consistency in the types that you are falling for, it would be sensible to slow down a bit.

BTW, that close friend who is trying to make you jealous; If I were you, I'd question whether I'd want to be friends with someone like that. Good friends don't deliberately try to toy with your emotions and relationships, thats pretty toxic behaviour.
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Jonsie55
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I’ve been single for a while now, and I keep getting rejected, which has really knocked my confidence. I don’t really know what this post is, I guess it’s partly venting and partly needing reassurance…

When I catch feelings for someone (even slightly) I’m not afraid to tell them, and I think that’s my downfall - I really struggle to befriend someone I’m attracted to, instead I just fall for them before I’ve really spoken to them much. I do speak to them a bit before telling them I like them though, just to be sure that my feelings are genuine. Recently though, I’ve been getting some kinda bad reactions.

The past three times I’ve liked someone, they’ve not been so friendly. The first one, I got his number and he was alright for a while, but he’s always been slow to respond and these past couple of months, he’s almost stopped completely. I don’t like him like that anymore (he’s still cute but it’s been long enough that I’ve moved on) so it’s not that bad but it just hurts to feel like I’ve lost a friend. I really like him, he’s been a good friend, but I don’t think he likes me at all.

The second one was friendly until I said I liked him and hasn’t spoken to me since. I don’t have feelings for him anymore either, having realised that he’s perhaps not as kind as I thought he was.

My current crush is in my friend group, she’s female (I’m bi) and I was pretty sure she wasn’t straight so I told her how I felt and she responded with her number - pretty good, huh? Anyway, we spoke for ages that evening, but she seemed distant and annoyed after that first day. She glances my way occasionally, but when I went up and said hi to her the other day, she looked at me briefly but ignored me. I haven’t texted her in a few days and she’s made no effort to say anything either.

One of her close friends is also one of my close friends and he keeps trying to make me jealous. Ever since he found out I liked her, he brags about how he needs to go and meet her or how they spend hours on call every day and he knows I don’t like it but he won’t stop. He insists their relationship is purely platonic (I’m pretty sure he’s telling the truth, actually) and that he’s just known her for a long time, but he never mentioned her before I liked her, and he can’t even spell her name! He kept telling me I was spelling it wrong, but I’ve triple checked and I’m definitely right, I spell it the same way she does.

I care so much about people close to me, but whenever I fall for someone, I feel like they just think I’m weird. I’m autistic and use they/them pronouns so I’m different to most people. I know I’m not attractive but I’m starting to feel like nobody will reciprocate when I like them. Nobody’s ever attracted to me, and most of the people who are have been people I met online - I don’t really want a long distance relationship, it’s more effort than it’s worth.

It’s stupid, I know it is, but I feel ready to start dating again and just knowing that nobody is attracted to me shatters my self esteem. I’ve gained a lot of confidence recently and started speaking to a lot more people, but I don’t fall for anyone very often and people don’t fall for me, so overall I’ve not managed to find anyone who meets my standards and actually wants to go on a date.

I’m sorry that was so long but thank you if you read this far
honestly, im a bisexual female too and ive been rejected so many times and it dont help my confidence at all. just from now on if i get rejected then i just think its their loss. ive gained so much self-love and confidence now so i guess all the rejections ive had. Fun fact: im 16 and from year 7- year 11 ive had 32 crushes all together lol T-T
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#5
(Original post by Feastful)
Do you look for signals that the other person is likely very interested in you too before you confess? Because I don't really get that vibe from your post.

It does sound like you wear your heart on your sleeve a lot.

If you're developing feelings for people all the time, its important to slow down and think about things like whether your standards in others is high enough, whether you're really getting to know the people you're falling for (everyone has faults/flaws, but are you picking up on those?) or whether you are projecting too much. Consider too how much are your hormones are affecting your decision making processes. I'm not saying that you are taking things too quick, but if you are falling for people very deeply who have no interest in you like that, falling for people regularly or finding yourself having no consistency in the types that you are falling for, it would be sensible to slow down a bit.

BTW, that close friend who is trying to make you jealous; If I were you, I'd question whether I'd want to be friends with someone like that. Good friends don't deliberately try to toy with your emotions and relationships, thats pretty toxic behaviour.
No, not really… I feel better just being honest with the person. I don’t read people well at all so I tend to miss the blindingly obvious.

Alright, thank you. I don’t fall for people that often, but when I do, I’ll try to wait longer before telling them because the feelings can get quite deep.

Yeah he’s like that, I’m not especially fond of him but he’s so clingy that I can’t get rid of him. I don’t have the heart to just cut him off, and sometimes he can be really sweet, but he has a habit of pushing me too far. I guess he’s one of the few people who genuinely like me so I’ve kinda ended up keeping him around.
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
(Original post by Shawn6)
I understand how you feel. I'm a bisexual male and I've had a lot of people reject me. I use to be really upset from it, but now I've just been like "ok, that's fair." I don't really think of myself as attractive, but my friend says I'm not bad for a guy. (he's a straight male)
Maybe I’ll just start to get used to it then… you’re pretty lucky to have a friend who’s willing to tell you that, mine rarely if ever compliment my looks Thanks for the response
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
(Original post by Jonsie55)
honestly, im a bisexual female too and ive been rejected so many times and it dont help my confidence at all. just from now on if i get rejected then i just think its their loss. ive gained so much self-love and confidence now so i guess all the rejections ive had. Fun fact: im 16 and from year 7- year 11 ive had 32 crushes all together lol T-T
I’m in the process of trying to gain some confidence but I’m finding it very hard… I have a fair few friends, yet absolutely none of them are attracted to me and I don’t find them attractive either. I’m honestly finding it pretty hard to meet someone I’m genuinely attracted to right now, cause I’m trying to move on from that third girl who doesn’t appear fond of me at all. I guess it’ll come with time…
Oh wow, that’s a lot! I don’t think I’ve had that many but it does make me feel a little better :lol:
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Shawn6
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Maybe I’ll just start to get used to it then… you’re pretty lucky to have a friend who’s willing to tell you that, mine rarely if ever compliment my looks Thanks for the response
hey.. don't give up.. i was talking to a girl tonight and now we are dating.. i hope the same happens to you! (by that i mean i hope you feel happy)
Last edited by Shawn6; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
(Original post by Shawn6)
hey.. don't give up.. i was talking to a girl tonight and now we are dating.. i hope the same happens to you!
Oh congratulations!
Thanks, I think it’ll be a while yet cause I’ve now met pretty much everyone in my year at school but it could happen eventually if I’m lucky!
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Shawn6
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#10
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#10
(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh congratulations!
Thanks, I think it’ll be a while yet cause I’ve now met pretty much everyone in my year at school but it could happen eventually if I’m lucky!
I wish you're Luckey then!
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