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Does it saddens you when your friends get married?
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HucktheForde
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#1
4 of my friends got married this year alone. I have never attended so many weddings in just a few months of any year.
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spectrum84
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#2
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#2
(Original post by HucktheForde)
4 of my friends got married this year alone. I have never attended so many weddings in just a few months of any year.
4 of my friends got married this year alone. I have never attended so many weddings in just a few months of any year.
Surely you should be happy for them
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rosy_posy
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#3
MyFightSong
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#4
Nope. The very first time someone from my school got married I was a little envious but it was more because of the wedding rather than anything else. Then half the girls at my school were quick to jump on that bandwagon and every few months someone else was posting their wedding pics just for the likes and repetitive comment of 'omggg you look so prettyyyy....'.
But roll on however many years its been and they already have two or three kids annoying them and they look like your typical mum - tired, annoyed and a bit unkempt. And theres a familiar pattern of many of them spending their days trying to talk to all their unmarried friends on social media.
Really makes you open your eyes to the social media life vs reality thing. The wedding reels you in and makes you tempted to join that life, the actual married life seems a bit tame in comparisons and makes you feel a little glad that you didn't rush down the aisle as well. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for them and yes I would also like to still marry someday but I'm certainly glad I didn't give up my freedom just yet. I'll happily wait a while. Get my life in order first. Work. Make good money. Maybe even rent my own home first. Travel the world and have some fun. And then marry when I'm in my 30s and maybe just have one kid.
But roll on however many years its been and they already have two or three kids annoying them and they look like your typical mum - tired, annoyed and a bit unkempt. And theres a familiar pattern of many of them spending their days trying to talk to all their unmarried friends on social media.
Really makes you open your eyes to the social media life vs reality thing. The wedding reels you in and makes you tempted to join that life, the actual married life seems a bit tame in comparisons and makes you feel a little glad that you didn't rush down the aisle as well. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for them and yes I would also like to still marry someday but I'm certainly glad I didn't give up my freedom just yet. I'll happily wait a while. Get my life in order first. Work. Make good money. Maybe even rent my own home first. Travel the world and have some fun. And then marry when I'm in my 30s and maybe just have one kid.
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xox416
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#5
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#5
No. I don't see marriage as this amazing thing like how others view it. I don't think it's a bad thing..I just don't care.
I should say I don't care about the whole theatrical part of weddings...it's too extra and nothing I envy.Of course marriage should be celebrated.
I should say I don't care about the whole theatrical part of weddings...it's too extra and nothing I envy.Of course marriage should be celebrated.
Last edited by xox416; 4 weeks ago
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Genesiss
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#6
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#6
might sadden me because damn, that's one hella expensive few months if i had to attend four weddings; might have to choose my best two mates on that one. other than that can't think of a reason to be sad. why, sad OP? did you go to allll of them??? Christ, just say no on the RSVP next time. i have a few times and didn't feel bad about it 
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1secondsofvamps
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turbobaithead
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#8
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#8
You guys should make a bet with your non-married friends to see how long they'd last.
SOMEONE NEEDS TO MEET THE SUPPLY OF FAMILY LAWYERS.
SOMEONE NEEDS TO MEET THE SUPPLY OF FAMILY LAWYERS.
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parmezanne
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#9
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#9
Not really. I know someone I was friends with at school now is getting married and I'm really not envious 
The married life is for some people at your early 20s, but it certainly isn't for me. I want to live up my 20s and really do things my way - doesn't mean I'm opposed to relationships, but I don't see a whole marriage in my cards just yet!
The married life is for some people at your early 20s, but it certainly isn't for me. I want to live up my 20s and really do things my way - doesn't mean I'm opposed to relationships, but I don't see a whole marriage in my cards just yet!
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BurstingBubbles
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#10
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#10
(Original post by parmezanne)
Not really. I know someone I was friends with at school now is getting married and I'm really not envious
The married life is for some people at your early 20s, but it certainly isn't for me. I want to live up my 20s and really do things my way - doesn't mean I'm opposed to relationships, but I don't see a whole marriage in my cards just yet!
Not really. I know someone I was friends with at school now is getting married and I'm really not envious
The married life is for some people at your early 20s, but it certainly isn't for me. I want to live up my 20s and really do things my way - doesn't mean I'm opposed to relationships, but I don't see a whole marriage in my cards just yet!
It probably helps that we were together 7 years before getting married and had lived together for 4 years of that - so it's not like it was a case of getting married and then moving in with each other and a lot changing
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BurstingBubbles
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#11
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#11
No, it makes me happy for them. Although I've only known a few people of my age get married so far, I think I've been one of the first in my age/friendship group to get married. Then again, we'd been together quite a long time, and quite a lot of my friends are either single or in the early stages of dating people. I'm 26, for context.
From my experience so far, marriage doesn't change things that much (in a good way!), compared to a serious/strong relationship.
From my experience so far, marriage doesn't change things that much (in a good way!), compared to a serious/strong relationship.
Last edited by BurstingBubbles; 4 weeks ago
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londonmyst
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#12
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#12
No.
If they have made the choice for themselves and want to get married, I'm happy for them.
If they have made the choice for themselves and want to get married, I'm happy for them.
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claireestelle
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#13
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#13
No I love weddings, we were the second people we know to get married though and no one else has in the 4 years since.
We d lived together well beforehand and bought a house just afterwards, marriage is great though it's mostly legal changes like I share part of my personal tax allowance and it's easier on death etc (have a will on top anyway).
We d lived together well beforehand and bought a house just afterwards, marriage is great though it's mostly legal changes like I share part of my personal tax allowance and it's easier on death etc (have a will on top anyway).
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parmezanne
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#14
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#14
(Original post by BurstingBubbles)
That does make sense - although I will say that being married to my wife, doesn't make any difference to how we led our lives when we were 'just' dating - we still go and do our own things if/when we want, and don't feel 'trapped' by marriage for want of a better word
It probably helps that we were together 7 years before getting married and had lived together for 4 years of that - so it's not like it was a case of getting married and then moving in with each other and a lot changing
That does make sense - although I will say that being married to my wife, doesn't make any difference to how we led our lives when we were 'just' dating - we still go and do our own things if/when we want, and don't feel 'trapped' by marriage for want of a better word
It probably helps that we were together 7 years before getting married and had lived together for 4 years of that - so it's not like it was a case of getting married and then moving in with each other and a lot changing
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The_Lonely_Goatherd
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#15
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#15
I get a bit sad at some weddings, especially ones in Roman Catholic churches (I'm Roman Catholic but they don't allow gay marriages/blessings) or at gay weddings 
EDIT: I forgot to say that friends having babies makes me more sad than friends getting married. Mostly coz I'm not a baby person at all and there's no way I can compete with a baby for people's attention/affection
EDIT: I forgot to say that friends having babies makes me more sad than friends getting married. Mostly coz I'm not a baby person at all and there's no way I can compete with a baby for people's attention/affection
Last edited by The_Lonely_Goatherd; 4 weeks ago
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Other_Owl
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#16
Ciel.
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#17
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#17
(Original post by HucktheForde)
4 of my friends got married this year alone. I have never attended so many weddings in just a few months of any year.
4 of my friends got married this year alone. I have never attended so many weddings in just a few months of any year.
i feel like my boyfriend will never ask me sometimes
i dont get it
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CoolCavy
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#18
Not really, I'm used to being the third wheel in literally everything.
To be honest I think my current age is too young to get married anyway, if other people want to then cool but it's not for me.
Additionally I don't even have a girlfriend so marriage is putting the cart before the horse slightly.
I probably will get a girlfriend some day but it's not really a pressing concern of mine anymore. I'm more bothered about trying to learn to drive, get a decent job, move out etc etc.
It would be nice to be invited to weddings I guess cos I've never been to one, but then I wouldn't have any annual leave available for it anyway if it wasn't on a weekend.
Growing up in an emotionally and financially controlling household also does take the shine off marriage.
Historically I know I would have been bothered but as I get older I care less and less. I think when people start having babies that will probably sting quite a bit, being infertile but it is what it is.
To be honest I think my current age is too young to get married anyway, if other people want to then cool but it's not for me.
Additionally I don't even have a girlfriend so marriage is putting the cart before the horse slightly.
I probably will get a girlfriend some day but it's not really a pressing concern of mine anymore. I'm more bothered about trying to learn to drive, get a decent job, move out etc etc.
It would be nice to be invited to weddings I guess cos I've never been to one, but then I wouldn't have any annual leave available for it anyway if it wasn't on a weekend.
Growing up in an emotionally and financially controlling household also does take the shine off marriage.
Historically I know I would have been bothered but as I get older I care less and less. I think when people start having babies that will probably sting quite a bit, being infertile but it is what it is.
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eatbootycooh427
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#19
(Original post by HucktheForde)
4 of my friends got married this year alone. I have never attended so many weddings in just a few months of any year.
4 of my friends got married this year alone. I have never attended so many weddings in just a few months of any year.
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CoolCavy
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#20
(Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
I get a bit sad at some weddings, especially ones in Roman Catholic churches (I'm Roman Catholic but they don't allow gay marriages/blessings) or at gay weddings
EDIT: I forgot to say that friends having babies makes me more sad than friends getting married. Mostly coz I'm not a baby person at all and there's no way I can compete with a baby for people's attention/affection
I get a bit sad at some weddings, especially ones in Roman Catholic churches (I'm Roman Catholic but they don't allow gay marriages/blessings) or at gay weddings
EDIT: I forgot to say that friends having babies makes me more sad than friends getting married. Mostly coz I'm not a baby person at all and there's no way I can compete with a baby for people's attention/affection
My parent (as you already know but for the benefit of others reading
) is a Methodist and their church recently voted on gay marriage being allowed with it being passed.My parent says when I get a girlfriend I am welcome to get married in their church
which is nice but maybe jumping the gun a bit I think babies is an interesting one to be honest, part of me does wonder if my friends do have children then really where's the room for friendships when their whole world will be consumed by that.
With long distance friends it's not like they are going to leave their child so we can all meet up and spend time together.
I'm just not thinking too much about it, mental health being such a thing that I only plan so far as the next week and then just keep chugging on.
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