Girls only - please I need your opinion!

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
I really want to have a fwb relationship with someone around my age but I have strict parents - I'm almost 18 and I feel like they will judge. If I keep it as a secret, would it be disrespectful?
Please guide me on this. I'm panicking and I want to have this but I know I'll hurt people.
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Student4355
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#2
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#2
Just keep it secret from them or tell them that you are nearly an adult and you can do what you want. Good luck
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Anonymous #2
#3
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#3
experimenting is so valid and important so if you think you should do it then do it but don’t hesitate to talk to people if it goes wrong and you need advice
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Justanotherhere
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#4
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#4
First of all, realize why you want to have a fwb relationship, be true to yourself... knowing the reason will help you a lot... you are at the juicy part of your teenage where you want to try new things and the age where you find daring things interesting and the age where you have the YOLO attitude. you must be careful because some lead to memories but most leads to regrets...
I would suggest you talk to your mom about this or an elder sibling if you have one.. this may sound scary but they have gone through the same phase and also have seen more of the world than you and are the best people to talk about your feelings if they are overwhelming ... dont go to a friend for advices on these because they just want to see what happens to you, they are just there to enjoy the show

(Original post by Anonymous)
I really want to have a fwb relationship with someone around my age but I have strict parents - I'm almost 18 and I feel like they will judge. If I keep it as a secret, would it be disrespectful?
Please guide me on this. I'm panicking and I want to have this but I know I'll hurt people.
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Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by Student4355)
Just keep it secret from them or tell them that you are nearly an adult and you can do what you want. Good luck
I'm quite vulnerable in their eyes but I can look after myself. I'm too focused on what people will say about me and I fear of hurting my family but I know I'm choosing the right thing.
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Anonymous #1
#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
experimenting is so valid and important so if you think you should do it then do it but don’t hesitate to talk to people if it goes wrong and you need advice
I'm fearing of being rejected by parents or hated or ashamed by them. Maybe I should cut him off? I'm really wanting this as I need some freedom
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
(Original post by Justanotherhere)
First of all, realize why you want to have a fwb relationship, be true to yourself... knowing the reason will help you a lot... you are at the juicy part of your teenage where you want to try new things and the age where you find daring things interesting and the age where you have the YOLO attitude. you must be careful because some lead to memories but most leads to regrets...
I would suggest you talk to your mom about this or an elder sibling if you have one.. this may sound scary but they have gone through the same phase and also have seen more of the world than you and are the best people to talk about your feelings if they are overwhelming ... dont go to a friend for advices on these because they just want to see what happens to you, they are just there to enjoy the show
My mum would never allow it. I could never ask her about it. I know I want it but I'm too focused on what my parents want.
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Son of the Sea
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#8
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#8
Why would you need to tell your parents anything about your sex life, let alone a fwb situation?? Just do it and don't tell anyone, simples.
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
(Original post by Son of the Sea)
Why would you need to tell your parents anything about your sex life, let alone a fwb situation?? Just do it and don't tell anyone, simples.
I get that, the thing is, they would most likely find out surely. If they do, what do I do? I'm feeling so guilty because they make me feel this way constantly - I really want to do it though.
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Anonymous #3
#10
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#10
keep it a secret and once the relationship starts getting serious tell them
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Anonymous #1
#11
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#11
(Original post by Anonymous)
keep it a secret and once the relationship starts getting serious tell them
I would have to get the train to visit him - what can my excuses be? Possibly telling them I'm going out with friends?
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Son of the Sea
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
I get that, the thing is, they would most likely find out surely. If they do, what do I do? I'm feeling so guilty because they make me feel this way constantly - I really want to do it though.
Well it’s time to up your sneaky mode and maybe they won’t find out about your sneaky link. And so what if they eventually do? As long as they’re not going to kick you out or disown you then just go for it. Sooner or later they’re going to have to accept that their child has sex.
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Anonymous #1
#13
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#13
(Original post by Son of the Sea)
Well it’s time to up your sneaky mode and maybe they won’t find out about your sneaky link. And so what if they eventually do? As long as they’re not going to kick you out or disown you then just go for it. Sooner or later they’re going to have to accept that their child has sex.
My sneaky mode isn't perfect. However, I've been successful so far so I hope it stays that way. If they do find out, I'll say I'm almost legally an adult and that I understand their concerns but it's my choice. I know they would kick me out or disallow me from going out at all.
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1582
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#14
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#14
Most parents don't want to know about their children's sex life, so don't worry about what they think. There's no reason they should find out unless you explicitly tell them.
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Anonymous #1
#15
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#15
(Original post by 1582)
Most parents don't want to know about their children's sex life, so don't worry about what they think. There's no reason they should find out unless you explicitly tell them.
Mine apparently have to know every single detail in life. I understand they care. I'm fortunate but I can't cope.
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Anonymous #4
#16
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#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
Mine apparently have to know every single detail in life. I understand they care. I'm fortunate but I can't cope.
Would they be open to the idea of you dating someone? You can imply that you don't do anything beyond kissing.
But you are almost 18, as long as you trust the person you are going to meet, you are old enough to make your own decisions.
Maybe tell a friend where you will be going, just so someone knows where you will be in case something happens.
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Anonymous #1
#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
Would they be open to the idea of you dating someone? You can imply that you don't do anything beyond kissing.
But you are almost 18, as long as you trust the person you are going to meet, you are old enough to make your own decisions.
Maybe tell a friend where you will be going, just so someone knows where you will be in case something happens.
I've come to the conclusion that I shouldn't take the risk because I mentally can't take it and would rather satisfy my parents. I would be better off being in a long-term relationship but still they'd be controlling over that, so I can't win but they'd approve that more.
I would have loved to have done the fwb but my parents will be hurt. I overthink so much and I am never happy because all I do is satisfy my parents.
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Anonymous #4
#18
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#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
I've come to the conclusion that I shouldn't take the risk because I mentally can't take it and would rather satisfy my parents. I would be better off being in a long-term relationship but still they'd be controlling over that, so I can't win but they'd approve that more.
I would have loved to have done the fwb but my parents will be hurt. I overthink so much and I am never happy because all I do is satisfy my parents.
Are you going to university next year? If so, that will give you some more freedom and space.
It's good to want to be close with your parents, but make sure that you aren't pleasing them at the expense of your own happiness. You are your own person, not just their daughter, if that makes sense.
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xox416
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#19
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#19
I mean....FWB you aren't losing much but potential good sex. Not really a life changing experience IMO when you could have it with someone who is commited to you. You have to live your life for you though, don't want to look back and have regrets. If you want to experience that, go for it.
Last edited by xox416; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
#20
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#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
Are you going to university next year? If so, that will give you some more freedom and space.
It's good to want to be close with your parents, but make sure that you aren't pleasing them at the expense of your own happiness. You are your own person, not just their daughter, if that makes sense.
No, I'm not. I feel like I should just work to earn money to leave as I feel that's best for me mentally. Yes, I understand but they guilt trip me constantly and I'm so done I want to cry and when I want to meet friends they tell me I need to ask permission and they rarely say yes. I feel trapped all the time and they're one of the reasons for my anxiety and it's so hard
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