im stuck. tw, ed.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
i have an ed, and today i had an appointment with a doctor related to something else and they found out i was a little underweight, and asked me some questions because of it. i was like yh i eat well and they referred me to a dietician and asked me to keep a food diary.

now im stressed. they asked me questions and i lied because i was panicking, eg they asked me if i get my period and i said yh even tho i dont, asked me if i ever restrict or purge and i said no

and i want to lie in my food diary because i dont want to focus on upping my intake rn because i have exams to worry about lol and i'd rather focus on that than "recovery" im just really scared cuz if i lie forever theyre gonna find out

idk what to do, my parents know i dont really eat/throw up food etc but they dont really know what EDs are so theyre like "start eating" and i say ok and stuff so.

i feel like the doctor could see through my lies lol, i was panicking af so my heartrate was really high. im not very skinny so i know she was confused as to why im underweight lol but yeah

i really dont know who to tell because my parents dont know EDs exist, and i dont want my friends to worry, and now i feel like if i lie they will figure it out anyway and put me inpatient or something idk

just thought --- what should i do??? i lied to my doctor so im ashamed to admit it now, i thought it was a one time appointment and if i told her i was fine she would discharge me, but she booked a blood test and i know nothings wrong with my blood so if that comes back negative shes gonna be suspicious.

sorrry this was a vent im just very very stuck, exams are coming and im stressing about something else lol. thank you sm for any advice sorry if this is a lot
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jxn2234
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u def shouldnt have lied. do u want to get better?
also i used to think my immigrant parents didnt know what an ED was but one day when my mum brought it up to me. u never know
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Meduse
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Look, while you may want to persist with your ED habits, it really is not healthy. The fact your periods have stopped also says a lot. Your body is not functioning correctly. Lying to a doctor in general is a bad idea because they cannot understand the actual state of your overall wellbeing.

Nobody can force you to seek help for it, but I would strongly advise you to do so. I hate to say it, but if this goes too far, you may end up hospitalised.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by jxn2234)
u def shouldnt have lied. do u want to get better?
also i used to think my immigrant parents didnt know what an ED was but one day when my mum brought it up to me. u never know
oh they dont know for sure bc my dad thinks anorexia is a physical illness or "a loss of appetite" and tells me to exercise to gain the appetite. they also know i throw up my food and stuff. i know i shouldn't have lied and i feel terrible now, its just because it was unexpected and i panicked lol.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Meduse)
Look, while you may want to persist with your ED habits, it really is not healthy. The fact your periods have stopped also says a lot. Your body is not functioning correctly. Lying to a doctor in general is a bad idea because they cannot understand the actual state of your overall wellbeing.

Nobody can force you to seek help for it, but I would strongly advise you to do so. I hate to say it, but if this goes too far, you may end up hospitalised.
i know i just want to focus on my exams first and then think about recovery after them, because if i start gaining weight i know its gonna take up a lot of my time and thoughts and i dont have the energy for that. i feel awful for lying to her i just dont want to waste her time. tbh i dont want to admit i have an ed because im so ashamed that i struggle to do the bare minimum thing that humans are meant to do. like idk how to confess my lies to my doctor lol.
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Meduse
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i know i just want to focus on my exams first and then think about recovery after them, because if i start gaining weight i know its gonna take up a lot of my time and thoughts and i dont have the energy for that. i feel awful for lying to her i just dont want to waste her time. tbh i dont want to admit i have an ed because im so ashamed that i struggle to do the bare minimum thing that humans are meant to do. like idk how to confess my lies to my doctor lol.
I can absolutely understand that. By all means, do what you think will be most manageable. Just remember to give yourself enough food so that you have energy for those exams. Food plays a vital role in concentration and memory, as I'm sure you know. I'm glad it seems like you've given recovery some thought at least...

By lying to her, you're actually kind of wasting more of the doctor's time, since you're going to inevitably either seek treatment or be hospitalised if things keep going the way they are. It'd be best if you're straight up with her. You can trust the professionals. I know it seems daunting, but they really want the best for you. They study eating disorders and understand them. You'd be in the best position under their care.

You shouldn't be ashamed of struggling. More people struggle in life than you think. You aren't alone. It's very easy to fall into these kinds of circumstances when we're on a dark path or when something happens and we feel the need to take some sort of control. It's your mind's way of being 'rational' because you crave control to feel better emotionally (short-term!), but it's not so rational after all because you're literally causing the shutdown of your vital organs as well as bodily functions day in and day out.

It is always okay to ask for help. That's why the medical profession exists. Lots and lots of people struggle. If she is a good doctor, and I'm sure she is, she will understand what got you to lie about this. It's not you being a deceitful person, it's your disorder wanting to take control. I am sure that you are a good person. This does not define you.

I wish you good luck. Please update us here (if you wish) to let us know how your exams went, and what the next step is.
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