I suddenly miss her again

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RushingRiver
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
My ex left me at the end of January and since then, I’ve been slowly recovering. She played with my feelings a lot for the first few months but things had settled down as I became used to her toying around with me. I know that she’s hurt me too much for me to ever want to be with her again, and she has another boyfriend now anyway.

She says she doesn’t want to be friends, but she’s still quite friendly with me. We wave when we see each other, which I’m totally fine with. But I keep letting her be friends with me when it suits her. Today, her friend was off school, and I was the one who took her in and kept her company at lunch. I was the one who worked with her in PE because I knew she was lonely. She asked me to, so I did, even though it hurt. She keeps doing things like this, and then tomorrow we’ll just be back to waving when we see each other but never talking.

I’d barely thought about her until today. Sure, I still found it kinda hard to be near her, but I was at a point where I was okay with it. It’s just really hit me today. I was talking to some girls at the start of a lesson about the breakup, cause they’re the kinda girls who like to talk about relationships and gossip. One of them asked me how I could recover so quickly after 10 months together, then proceeded to tell me how she still loved her ex after a couple of years. It never occurred to me that I might not be over her, but I think I’ve just been denying it for a while.

I miss her a crazy amount, and it’s so painful. I just… I want her out of my life, but I know I can’t. She’ll still be in the same school and same classes as me for a year, so I’ll need to stay friendly for at least that long. If she actually wanted to be friends, things would’ve been fine, but it’s just the feeling of being used. Sometimes I’m friends with her, then she takes that away from me. She says she doesn’t want to be friends but she’s so inconsistent about it. I care for her, I’d give the world if it made her happy, but I just want her to pick. If she doesn’t want to be friends, it would be so much easier for me if she set boundaries instead of hurting me like this.

I don’t have the self control to distance myself. I try, but when I see her suffering, I just love her too much to leave her on her own. It’ll kill me when we leave year 11 and go our separate ways. She’ll be out of my life but our mutual friends will still talk about her - I feel like there’s nothing I can do to escape, to stop me missing her, to move on.

Sorry that was so long… I just really needed to talk about it and let it all out
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TriplexA
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by RushingRiver)
My ex left me at the end of January and since then, I’ve been slowly recovering. She played with my feelings a lot for the first few months but things had settled down as I became used to her toying around with me. I know that she’s hurt me too much for me to ever want to be with her again, and she has another boyfriend now anyway.

She says she doesn’t want to be friends, but she’s still quite friendly with me. We wave when we see each other, which I’m totally fine with. But I keep letting her be friends with me when it suits her. Today, her friend was off school, and I was the one who took her in and kept her company at lunch. I was the one who worked with her in PE because I knew she was lonely. She asked me to, so I did, even though it hurt. She keeps doing things like this, and then tomorrow we’ll just be back to waving when we see each other but never talking.

I’d barely thought about her until today. Sure, I still found it kinda hard to be near her, but I was at a point where I was okay with it. It’s just really hit me today. I was talking to some girls at the start of a lesson about the breakup, cause they’re the kinda girls who like to talk about relationships and gossip. One of them asked me how I could recover so quickly after 10 months together, then proceeded to tell me how she still loved her ex after a couple of years. It never occurred to me that I might not be over her, but I think I’ve just been denying it for a while.

I miss her a crazy amount, and it’s so painful. I just… I want her out of my life, but I know I can’t. She’ll still be in the same school and same classes as me for a year, so I’ll need to stay friendly for at least that long. If she actually wanted to be friends, things would’ve been fine, but it’s just the feeling of being used. Sometimes I’m friends with her, then she takes that away from me. She says she doesn’t want to be friends but she’s so inconsistent about it. I care for her, I’d give the world if it made her happy, but I just want her to pick. If she doesn’t want to be friends, it would be so much easier for me if she set boundaries instead of hurting me like this.

I don’t have the self control to distance myself. I try, but when I see her suffering, I just love her too much to leave her on her own. It’ll kill me when we leave year 11 and go our separate ways. She’ll be out of my life but our mutual friends will still talk about her - I feel like there’s nothing I can do to escape, to stop me missing her, to move on.

Sorry that was so long… I just really needed to talk about it and let it all out
Hi there.

Sorry to hear about your break up. It may be worth having a clear conversation with her about whether you'd like to remain friends or not as you seem very conflicted about it. Everyone moves on from relationships and copes with break ups differently so try not to focus on chat and judgement from others. It may be wise to remove your ex from social media if she decides that you can't be friends so that you're able to have time to heal and move on from your life in summer holidays for example.

Once you leave high school it's likely that most friends will naturally drift apart with time and there's hope that you'll find many new friends at sixth form/college. Your ex will no longer be on your mind due to you being so busy with a new stage of your life (this may be hard to imagine, I understand).

Hope this somewhat helps and makes sense.
Best wishes.
Last edited by TriplexA; 1 month ago
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RushingRiver
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#3
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#3
(Original post by TriplexA)
Hi there.

Sorry to hear about your break up. It may be worth having a clear conversation with her about whether you'd like to remain friends or not as you seem very conflicted about it. Everyone moves on from relationships and copes with break ups differently so try not to focus on chat and judgement from others. It may be wise to remove your ex from social media if she decides that you can't be friends so that you're able to have time to heal and move on from your life in summer holidays for example.

Once you leave high school it's likely that most friends will naturally drift apart with time and there's hope that you'll find many new friends at sixth form/college. Your ex will no longer be on your mind due to you being so busy with a new stage of your life (this may be hard to imagine, I understand).

Hope this somewhat helps and makes sense.
Best wishes.
We’ve spoken about it and she always says no, but then she acts like we are sometimes and I think that’s what’s bothering me… if she doesn’t want to be friends, it’s odd that she still hugged me the other day, or that she still gives me little gifts when she’s in the mood to be nice to me. And then when being friends doesn’t suit her, we go back to not being friends :/
I’ve deleted her number and everything already, I only see her at school, but her best friend tends to still talk to me about her and her new boyfriend a lot, despite me constantly saying not to.

I hope that’s the case, as much as I love my friends I do feel like I’d be better with a fresh start, away from everything that reminds me of her. I’m absolutely fine when she’s not around, it only becomes an issue when she’s being difficult.

Thank you :hugs:
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bella.knight
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#4
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#4
(Original post by RushingRiver)
My ex left me at the end of January and since then, I’ve been slowly recovering. She played with my feelings a lot for the first few months but things had settled down as I became used to her toying around with me. I know that she’s hurt me too much for me to ever want to be with her again, and she has another boyfriend now anyway.

She says she doesn’t want to be friends, but she’s still quite friendly with me. We wave when we see each other, which I’m totally fine with. But I keep letting her be friends with me when it suits her. Today, her friend was off school, and I was the one who took her in and kept her company at lunch. I was the one who worked with her in PE because I knew she was lonely. She asked me to, so I did, even though it hurt. She keeps doing things like this, and then tomorrow we’ll just be back to waving when we see each other but never talking.

I’d barely thought about her until today. Sure, I still found it kinda hard to be near her, but I was at a point where I was okay with it. It’s just really hit me today. I was talking to some girls at the start of a lesson about the breakup, cause they’re the kinda girls who like to talk about relationships and gossip. One of them asked me how I could recover so quickly after 10 months together, then proceeded to tell me how she still loved her ex after a couple of years. It never occurred to me that I might not be over her, but I think I’ve just been denying it for a while.

I miss her a crazy amount, and it’s so painful. I just… I want her out of my life, but I know I can’t. She’ll still be in the same school and same classes as me for a year, so I’ll need to stay friendly for at least that long. If she actually wanted to be friends, things would’ve been fine, but it’s just the feeling of being used. Sometimes I’m friends with her, then she takes that away from me. She says she doesn’t want to be friends but she’s so inconsistent about it. I care for her, I’d give the world if it made her happy, but I just want her to pick. If she doesn’t want to be friends, it would be so much easier for me if she set boundaries instead of hurting me like this.

I don’t have the self control to distance myself. I try, but when I see her suffering, I just love her too much to leave her on her own. It’ll kill me when we leave year 11 and go our separate ways. She’ll be out of my life but our mutual friends will still talk about her - I feel like there’s nothing I can do to escape, to stop me missing her, to move on.

Sorry that was so long… I just really needed to talk about it and let it all out
hey, I wish I could say that I can relate. And it's fine no need to apologize were all here for you. If you ever need to talk were here. :console:
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RushingRiver
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#5
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#5
(Original post by bella.knight)
hey, I wish I could say that I can relate. And it's fine no need to apologize were all here for you. If you ever need to talk were here. :console:
Thank you 💕 :hugs:
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bella.knight
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#6
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#6
your welcome. allways here for ya
:hugs:
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