people open gc message but not mine?

Why do some people open group chats but leave you unopened for 16+ hours?
I try not to overthink it, but i feel like i am just sensitive as it feels like they are deliberately choosing to not open my messages until later on.
Sometimes my message might be really small, so i don't see how they wouldn't 'have time' to respond when they are clearly on their phones?

Idk, i just find it really rude as i feel a bit stupid sometimes as i think they are my friend but if they only want to answer you when it's convenient for them, they aren't a real friend right?

Also, what's worse is when they carry on posting on their stories and won't respond to you until like a day later. I get really hurt and i'm trying not to but it's kinda hard when im too nice to people so it's difficult for me to understand this behaviour :/

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Why do some people open group chats but leave you unopened for 16+ hours?
I try not to overthink it, but i feel like i am just sensitive as it feels like they are deliberately choosing to not open my messages until later on.
Sometimes my message might be really small, so i don't see how they wouldn't 'have time' to respond when they are clearly on their phones?

Idk, i just find it really rude as i feel a bit stupid sometimes as i think they are my friend but if they only want to answer you when it's convenient for them, they aren't a real friend right?

Also, what's worse is when they carry on posting on their stories and won't respond to you until like a day later. I get really hurt and i'm trying not to but it's kinda hard when im too nice to people so it's difficult for me to understand this behaviour :/

Yeah, I completely understand what you mean.
Could it be that group chats are discussing things like homework, and they don't want to read personal messages. But yes, I think it is rude to not reply to someone when you have been active in a group chat.
You will find friends who are loyal and do reply, it just might take some time to find them.
If you wanted, you could maybe explain how you are feeling to your friends, because they may not have realised that you were upset?
I'm sending hugs.

Reply 2

TriplexA

18

Original post by Anonymous

Why do some people open group chats but leave you unopened for 16+ hours?
I try not to overthink it, but i feel like i am just sensitive as it feels like they are deliberately choosing to not open my messages until later on.
Sometimes my message might be really small, so i don't see how they wouldn't 'have time' to respond when they are clearly on their phones?

Idk, i just find it really rude as i feel a bit stupid sometimes as i think they are my friend but if they only want to answer you when it's convenient for them, they aren't a real friend right?

Also, what's worse is when they carry on posting on their stories and won't respond to you until like a day later. I get really hurt and i'm trying not to but it's kinda hard when im too nice to people so it's difficult for me to understand this behaviour :/

Hi there.

Sorry to hear this - unfortunately it's not uncommon :frown:

Perhaps distance yourself from those people and see if they make the effort to stay in touch with you. If they don't, just know that you're kindness and friendship is worth so much more as friendship is a two way thing.

Hope this makes sense. :smile:

Best wishes.

(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Aw thanks for the sweet reply i appreciate it!
So they never actually respond to the chats, so maybe they open it because they know they don't want to respond? But i still don't think that's a very good excuse to leave me unread for many many hours just cause they feel like it. Weirdly though, after their long period of not answering, they begin to respond quickly, it's like a cycle which i can't wrap my head around!
idk if this particular person is even my friend as we haven't ever met in person, we seem more like work acquaintances atm which sucks as sometimes it seems like they are opening up then they withdraw and go back to being a bit dead and also selectively responding, which is something else i find very annoying and rude considering i always respond to everything they say :frown:

i feel like a mug sometimes as i know im too nice to these ppl but it's my nature and i can't help it ugh.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by TriplexA

Hi there.

Sorry to hear this - unfortunately it's not uncommon :frown:

Perhaps distance yourself from those people and see if they make the effort to stay in touch with you. If they don't, just know that you're kindness and friendship is worth so much more as friendship a two way thing.

Hope this makes sense. :smile:

Best wishes.

Hey, thanks for the reply.
Yeh it's sucky how common it is. people seem to have terrible texting habits but may come across as lovely irl, it's kinda annoying!
And that is a good idea, i have actually started already. I have stopped responding as quickly as i used to to show them that i have a life away from them too :smile:

people open gc message but not mine?

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