Do I have a problem or am I just gay?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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I am a 19 year old girl and I was wondering if anyone else has a similar experience. I haven’t been in a relationship yet, mostly because I’ve never felt ready for dating but I am more open to it now. I have struggled with labelling my sexuality for a while, but I can confidently say I like women. What concerns me is my relationship with men.

It seems that I am very rarely attracted to men and if it does happen, strangely it is never sexual. I just kind of crave for them to like me back and whatever is meant to happen after that my brain doesn’t really bother to work through. Last year I met a guy at a party who I was so enticed by and after talking a lot he started showing genuine romantic interest and I was instantly put off. I was flattered that he liked me of course but my instinctive reaction was to just get out of that situation.

Another situation was this year, when I felt like I really liked a guy on my course and it was honestly a miserable time because I knew he just didn’t feel the same. Once again it was this strange platonic crush which felt extremely intense and painful but the thought of doing anything with him just didn’t appeal to me. In the end I told him to kind of help myself get over it and once he kindly rejected me the crush was instantly gone like it never happened.

With women it’s very different, I liked a straight girl before and it definitely did not disappear just like that and it feels like getting to like women is a much slower process and isn’t as whimsical where I just wake up one day and decide that I need a crush.

If I think about my future and settling down, picturing myself with a man seems right but I just feel like it’s an idea ingrained into my brain of ‘how it should be’. It also feels like the reason why it seems ‘right’ is that it is the perspective of other people I am viewing it through and not my own.

Anyways, I know this is a very specific feeling but maybe anyone can relate?
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Angelina002
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am a 19 year old girl and I was wondering if anyone else has a similar experience. I haven’t been in a relationship yet, mostly because I’ve















never felt ready for dating but I am more open to it now. I have struggled with labelling my sexuality for a while, but I can confidently say I like women. What concerns me is my relationship with men.

It seems that I am very rarely attracted to men and if it does happen, strangely it is never sexual. I just kind of crave for them to like me back and whatever is meant to happen after that my brain doesn’t really bother to work through. Last year I met a guy at a party who I was so enticed by and after talking a lot he started showing genuine romantic interest and I was instantly put off. I was flattered that he liked me of course but my instinctive reaction was to just get out of that situation.

Another situation was this year, when I felt like I really liked a guy on my course and it was honestly a miserable time because I knew he just didn’t feel the same. Once again it was this strange platonic crush which felt extremely intense and painful but the thought of doing anything with him just didn’t appeal to me. In the end I told him to kind of help myself get over it and once he kindly rejected me the crush was instantly gone like it never happened.

With women it’s very different, I liked a straight girl before and it definitely did not disappear just like that and it feels like getting to like women is a much slower process and isn’t as whimsical where I just wake up one day and decide that I need a crush.

If I think about my future and settling down, picturing myself with a man seems right but I just feel like it’s an idea ingrained into my brain of ‘how it should be’. It also feels like the reason why it seems ‘right’ is that it is the perspective of other people I am viewing it through and not my own.

Anyways, I know this is a very specific feeling but maybe anyone can relate?
Sometimes I think the same, although I am straight and would date men I just don’t feel as comfortable around them like women, that could just be because I’m a girl and since girls understand girls I feel more comfortable. I would say just date a female and see if you feel different. Hope this helped
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