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    Recently (2 months ago), I began talking to a girl who was going through a break-up after almost a year of being together in a long-distance relationship. I just asked her how she was doing, and when she said that there were things going on in her life, I asked if she wanted to talk about them, and that's how our friendship began.

    I got to know her much better and we now talk regularly on the phone each night for at least 40 minutes. We call it a mental-health friendship because oftentimes we'll start conversations by asking how our respective days/weeks have gone, and how we're doing at the present moment.

    We go to the same school and we talk there when we can, but we're busy, both of us being IB Diploma candidates in our final year of secondary school.

    We do try to hang out in person outside of school at least once a week and we talk about the same stuff and play around, have poke wars, staring contests, and other odd things, but we have a good time no matter what.

    Things were great for the first month (they're the same in terms of us), but I sort of discovered that I liked this girl after that point. The way I see it, she's pretty, funny, athletic, intelligent, and just a fun person to be around, plus we can talk about philosophical topics while having a good time.

    I don't think about liking her whenever we hang out (which is a plus, means I can concentrate on the good times at hand), but it's on my mind sometimes when we're not together, and I'm not sure about what to do.

    Part of me would love to be in a relationship with her, but I don't want to lose what we have now if she either doesn't feel the same way or things don't work out between us down the line. Plus, I'm not entirely sure if she even wants a relationship this soon after breaking up.

    I also get the feeling that she sees me as a close friend, nothing more, and I'm a little confused as to how I should deal with things.

    Any advice would be really appreciated (and thank you for reading this little novella I wrote),

    Chikken
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    first is she fit?
    if no - stop chasing her she ain't worth it,
    if yes - be balshy. act like you don't need her one minute the next be all over her telling her she looks great etc. she will be intrigued by your personality and you will soon be boning her. easy way to get out of the friend zone.
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    (Original post by brapboybrap)
    first is she fit?
    if no - stop chasing her she ain't worth it,
    if yes - be balshy. act like you don't need her one minute the next be all over her telling her she looks great etc. she will be intrigued by your personality and you will soon be boning her. easy way to get out of the friend zone.
    It's not all about sex.
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    (Original post by Resok)
    It's not all about sex.
    :confused: it's not?
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    (Original post by brapboybrap)
    :confused: it's not?
    No.
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    Why did you sign your name if you wanted it to be anon??
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    Why would you put down what college you go to on your profile?

    Just say your name, you've exposed yourself

    Don't do anything with her unless you flirt
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    (Original post by Resok)
    No.
    you are wrong poindextor
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    (Original post by brapboybrap)
    you are wrong poindextor
    poindextor?
    I'm not a nerd mate, so you've got the wrong idea. You think that everyone who thinks that sex isnt everything is either ugly or nerdy? Wiw, finish secondary school and then talk to me.
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    (Original post by Mrs.X)
    Why would you put down what college you go to on your profile?

    Just say your name, you've exposed yourself

    Don't do anything with her unless you flirt

    Is that directed at me? I only asked cos he wanted the post to be anon then he signed his name.

    Which seemed a bit contradictory to me.
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    (Original post by Resok)
    poindextor?
    I'm not a nerd mate, so you've got the wrong idea. You think that everyone who thinks that sex isnt everything is either ugly or nerdy? Wiw, finish secondary school and then talk to me.
    i like the word poindextor. if she is shagging him she will probably like him. therefore solving his problem and getting him his hole. problem solved
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    (Original post by Wildstarchild)
    Is that directed at me? I only asked cos he wanted the post to be anon then he signed his name.

    Which seemed a bit contradictory to me.
    Why would it be aimed at you? There was nothing in my post that indicated it was for you
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    Ask her. If you're spending forty minutes a night on the phone, chances are it'll have entered her mind too. Bet you anything she has a clear stance on it (she's hardly going to go "Oh, crazy, hadn't thought of that before!") so she'll either be up for it or, you know, not.
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    Thanks for the replies everyone.

    (I wasn't aware that I'd left all that profile info in there, but that's now thankfully fixed. I don't mind the name so much, I guess, and the not-anon bit was an accident.)

    And I'm thinking about asking her, or just getting over it, because when someone else who'd seen us hanging out more asked her about it, she said that we were close friends. But even if she felt anything more, I doubt she'd say anything more to the person who asked, just because she's more of a private person and the guy who asked her doesn't talk to her all that much in the first place.

    I actually don't mind where we are right now all that much, to be honest, and that's probably part of the reason why I'm reluctant to do anything, along with a solid fear of rejection. A third-person's perspective will probably do me some good, though, because who knows how much of what I'm saying is colored by the way I feel on the subject?

    Thanks,

    Chikken
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    (Original post by serrellen)
    Ask her. If you're spending forty minutes a night on the phone, chances are it'll have entered her mind too.
    Best advice so far.
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    (Original post by Chikken)
    (I wasn't aware that I'd left all that profile info in there, but that's now thankfully fixed. I don't mind the name so much, I guess, and the not-anon bit was an accident.)

    And I'm thinking about asking her, or just getting over it, because when someone else who'd seen us hanging out more asked her about it, she said that we were close friends. But even if she felt anything more, I doubt she'd say anything more to the person who asked, just because she's more of a private person and the guy who asked her doesn't talk to her all that much in the first place.

    I actually don't mind where we are right now all that much, to be honest, and that's probably part of the reason why I'm reluctant to do anything, along with a solid fear of rejection. A third-person's perspective will probably do me some good, though, because who knows how much of what I'm saying is colored by the way I feel on the subject?

    I think I've been in the same situation before, the only difference is that (well in my case) she has problems with her boyfriend and thinking of breaking up with him. Well I'm there to 'listen' to her problems and actually make her boyfriend jealous lol. Nah I don't feel used at all since I kinda hate the boyfriend (don't know why though, just don't like him really ). So like you OP, I started to have late night conversation through the phone (topics like what is our favorite things to do, our dislikes, etc-was fun to listen to even though my mom was going through the roof with the phone bill skyrocketed lol ). We started going out and was really having fun. I also wandered whether things can go further but I didn't try or bothered to go further..why? well like you OP i think she just want to be close friends and i as a guy (well as usual) always think of the possibility if she's the one i can go further..but naahh...get my point?
 
 
 
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