Did he ever like me?

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Kirby462781
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#1
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#1
There's this guy I talked to for a few months. Most of our messages were small talk, playful insults, and flirting. He would also call me sometimes. I would often text him when drunk and this would sometimes end in something happening to drunken me and him comforting me. This was probably the most mature thing he ever did and I put quite a lot of trust him in because of it (nothing too emotional but he was someone to fall back on when down). I ended up liking him quite a lot and messaging him became a normal daily activity. We however never spoke in person (mainly because we never told anyone we talked and his friends were always around) One flirting conversation topic we often used was threatening to 'fight' and this often got to the point where we would plan to meet up as a joke. But at one point he asked to meet up saying that i'm always playing and he wants to do it for real this time. I was very interested so I said yes but on the day that we were supposed to 'fight' he didn't turn up. I texted him asking where he was and he claimed to be revising. I was very hurt by this so I ignored him for a few days then confronted him (by text) asking him where we stand and what he wants from me. He dismissed every question and repeated phrases such as 'youre angry for no reason' 'whatever' and 'im busy leave me alone' every question i asked was shut down and in the end the only concrete answers I got were 'we were just talking I guess' and 'i wanted to do normal friend things(when he asked to meet up)' not only do these responses not add up or display what he was hinting towards before, but they were also very hurtful. Commitment issues is something he has trouble with but a real relationship was probably not something i was aiming for, I was comfortable with what we had (with potentially some physical intimacy). He however did not make clear what he wanted and when I tried to find out what he wanted from me he buried himself a hole and hid in it. I don't talk to him anymore and i have no intention to but I would like to know If he ever saw me in that way at all. Please help (I will also answer questions for any info ppl need)
Last edited by Kirby462781; 4 weeks ago
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ROTL94 2
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Kirby462781)
I don't talk to him anymore and i have no intention to
Don't see why it matters now then.
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Kirby462781
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(Original post by ROTL94 2)
Don't see why it matters now then.
At the time I really liked him so even though I wouldn't talk to him now I would want to know if his feelings ever matched mine, just so I know if I was something to him or simply played myself
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Mentalhealth*12
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My guess is that he may have liked you but felt that the whole plan was incredibly convoluted. What was the plan? Fight in front of his friends and then do a big reveal that you're actually together?
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Ghostlady
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Trouble is when you have that kind of are you/aren't you, fight me/flirt me relationship, theres never a constant and its just not going anywhere. Its a bit like that Katy Perry song hot and cold. Then it gets to the point when one of the sides has enough and just gets bored of the games and cba.
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xox416
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Sounds like you took his jokes literal....
He was joking around including meeting up with you.

And then your next conversation with him, you came off pretty intense, asking where you guys stand and what he wants from you.... he never saw the relationship in that way that's why he thinks you're overreacting.
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Kirby462781
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#7
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(Original post by xox416)
Sounds like you took his jokes literal....
He was joking around including meeting up with you.

And then your next conversation with him, you came off pretty intense, asking where you guys stand and what he wants from you.... he never saw the relationship in that way that's why he thinks you're overreacting.
This is likely the way he felt, though when he asked to meet up properly it was a lot more forward than the other times. He asked me where, when, what time etc. but then stood me up on the day. In the end he was quite a womaniser anyway so I needed it to end before I got hurt (which I did i suppose but it could have been alot worse) thanks
Last edited by Kirby462781; 4 weeks ago
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Kirby462781
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#8
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(Original post by Mentalhealth*12)
My guess is that he may have liked you but felt that the whole plan was incredibly convoluted. What was the plan? Fight in front of his friends and then do a big reveal that you're actually together?
No not at all "fight" was basically a dumb hint at sex. He would take me somewhere private (he said he would pick where) likely his house.
Last edited by Kirby462781; 4 weeks ago
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Mentalhealth*12
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#9
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(Original post by Kirby462781)
No not at all "fight" was basically a dumb hint at sex. He would take me somewhere private (he said he would pick where) likely his house.
Okay, that makes sense. You could argue he did like you but didn't want to hurt you by having sex with no commitment. You'll never know since he doesn't want to provide any answers.

Try and flirt in person so one of you can escalate there and then when the mood takes you. You also get a lot of the non-verbal cues that you just don't get from texting.
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