No friends, no social life, no longer human

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
I'm 2nd year at my university but a couple years older (23) than most people, which does make me feel pretty ashamed for being so socially inept

I dont really know what to do, I can't seem to make friends

I cant help but feel there is something deeply wrong with me, as if I have no soul

I've been to social events but I always end up being treated like I'm the 3rd wheel in the conversations I'm in and I just want to die

I've been to therapy but my therapist mostly just tries to convince me that it's all in my head, but the results speak for themselves

I'm not biased when I think that someone doesn't like me, because they act way friendlier and happy when they talk to someone else

I don't know what to do, I can't practice very much because I want to die everytime I go to some social event and just get reminded over and over and over again how worthless I am to everyone else

I'm just so tired of living like this, but there is no way out

I feel like I've tried everything - tried therapy a few times, I exercise, I volunteer, I eat healthy, gave it a break a few times before trying again, I end up in the same place

I don't know what's wrong with me, I must not be human

Anyone can relate or have any ideas
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CDIAS
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
It's not all in your head. But you may be looking at this issue from a point of view that is not accurate and/or offers only a partial view, and that may be what's causing you all this pain.

Nothing to do with "not being human", by your post I believe that the shame and lack of confidence are not acting in your favour when you're trying to socialise.

Let me tell you that as an extrovert myself, I do not dislike introverted people, on the opposite, I'm quite curious about them. However I might behave like I'm happier around other people. Not because I like them more, it's just because they make it easier for me to interact with them. Somehow you may be showing that social interaction is something you're not comfortable with and it's painful for you, and it may be interpreted as you less keen to socialise with them?

I think that sometimes we have to be bold. We all have insecurities, and deep inside, we all feel something is wrong with us when life is not being gentle, we all have strengths and weaknesses, but, in my view, you have to be proud of what you are.

Are you familiar with Myers Briggs personality types? It may be a old concept, but I think it somehow offers some answers to some of your questions, and help you understand why you are as you are, and how to be happy with that. Just an idea for some reading.
Last edited by CDIAS; 1 month ago
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grhas98
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#3
Report 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 2nd year at my university but a couple years older (23) than most people, which does make me feel pretty ashamed for being so socially inept

I dont really know what to do, I can't seem to make friends

I cant help but feel there is something deeply wrong with me, as if I have no soul

I've been to social events but I always end up being treated like I'm the 3rd wheel in the conversations I'm in and I just want to die

I've been to therapy but my therapist mostly just tries to convince me that it's all in my head, but the results speak for themselves

I'm not biased when I think that someone doesn't like me, because they act way friendlier and happy when they talk to someone else

I don't know what to do, I can't practice very much because I want to die everytime I go to some social event and just get reminded over and over and over again how worthless I am to everyone else

I'm just so tired of living like this, but there is no way out

I feel like I've tried everything - tried therapy a few times, I exercise, I volunteer, I eat healthy, gave it a break a few times before trying again, I end up in the same place

I don't know what's wrong with me, I must not be human

Anyone can relate or have any ideas
I relate very much I always feel like an alien around other people. I have just given up trying to socialise it is very hard especially in groups I don’t know what is wrong with me!
Last edited by grhas98; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #2
#4
Report 1 month ago
#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 2nd year at my university but a couple years older (23) than most people, which does make me feel pretty ashamed for being so socially inept

I dont really know what to do, I can't seem to make friends

I cant help but feel there is something deeply wrong with me, as if I have no soul

I've been to social events but I always end up being treated like I'm the 3rd wheel in the conversations I'm in and I just want to die

I've been to therapy but my therapist mostly just tries to convince me that it's all in my head, but the results speak for themselves

I'm not biased when I think that someone doesn't like me, because they act way friendlier and happy when they talk to someone else

I don't know what to do, I can't practice very much because I want to die everytime I go to some social event and just get reminded over and over and over again how worthless I am to everyone else

I'm just so tired of living like this, but there is no way out

I feel like I've tried everything - tried therapy a few times, I exercise, I volunteer, I eat healthy, gave it a break a few times before trying again, I end up in the same place

I don't know what's wrong with me, I must not be human

Anyone can relate or have any ideas
I was like this too, but in the end when you just accept it for what it is then it gets easier. I started to accept that maybe, I wasn’t going to make any friends just YET.. It has to get a bit harder for it to get easier, for now just accept that it’s just you and learn to embrace your own company, do things that make you happy because in the end you always have yourself and your own thoughts to keep you company. Invest in yourself before you invest in the idea of others, and then when you least think its coming people will come!

I know it’s not easy to change those thoughts that make you feel like your worthless, but in fact that’s just a reflection of what you think other people see in you! If people approached you more and you were more popular, then you would think you weren’t as worthless. So take a step back and evaluate why your worth is based on other people and their perceptions of you! I know this isn’t the same, but Leonardo Da Vinci was also considered lonely and a misfit during his time, but now? His paintings wrack millions in and he’s become somewhat of a prodigy. No matter how long it takes for people to see your worth, firstly YOU should realise it, if you yourself can’t see your own worth then don’t think others will too!

It must be really hard for you, but please don’t feel like the odd one out, there’s many more people who feel just like you so please don’t feel alone!
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