Why won't she add me?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
There's this girl on my course. We had one class and one seminar a week. She actually started our romance, because she kept looking at me in class. Like I would look up and she would be looking at me, really eying me up. We got talking and things went great and we got on well I could really feel a great vibe between us. Everything seemed perfect and I even got her laughing. She is single as well as she told me. So after our last class last week I tried adding her but she has ignored my request. It's been more than a week. I mean why? She has over 300 friends, so why won't she even add me so we could stay in touch and maybe get talking a bit or keep in touch over the summer? Even if she isn't interested she could add me and put me on maximum privacy. It's just not being added at all that hurts. The worst thing is this happens to me constantly. Girls show interest in me, but won't add me at all so I never get past first base with them. Is it because they are shy? I don't have a weird FB profile just normal with normal photos so it can't be that either.
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ROTL94 2
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#2
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#2
Because she doesn't want to :ms:
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TriplexA
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
There's this girl on my course. We had one class and one seminar a week. She actually started our romance, because she kept looking at me in class. Like I would look up and she would be looking at me, really eying me up. We got talking and things went great and we got on well I could really feel a great vibe between us. Everything seemed perfect and I even got her laughing. She is single as well as she told me. So after our last class last week I tried adding her but she has ignored my request. It's been more than a week. I mean why? She has over 300 friends, so why won't she even add me so we could stay in touch and maybe get talking a bit or keep in touch over the summer? Even if she isn't interested she could add me and put me on maximum privacy. It's just not being added at all that hurts. The worst thing is this happens to me constantly. Girls show interest in me, but won't add me at all so I never get past first base with them. Is it because they are shy? I don't have a weird FB profile just normal with normal photos so it can't be that either.
Hi there.

The next time you meet perhaps ask her if she got your friend request or not. See what her response to this is and take it from there as she may have just forgotten to add you back. If she shows little or no interest i.e. doesn't message you first/often once she adds you it may be wise to move on from her.

Best wishes.
Last edited by TriplexA; 1 month ago
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Old Skool Freak
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
There's this girl on my course. We had one class and one seminar a week. She actually started our romance, because she kept looking at me in class. Like I would look up and she would be looking at me, really eying me up. We got talking and things went great and we got on well I could really feel a great vibe between us. Everything seemed perfect and I even got her laughing. She is single as well as she told me.
First of all, you can't call it "romance" until you're at the stage when you're properly established as a couple and are properly "luved up", you can spend hours with her in silence gazing at each other and you've got cringeworthy pet-names for each other. At this stage, it's not much more than a mutual attraction or flirting, at best.

P.S. If you've ever described it as "romance" to her, she's probably freaked out.

So after our last class last week I tried adding her but she has ignored my request. It's been more than a week. I mean why? She has over 300 friends, so why won't she even add me so we could stay in touch and maybe get talking a bit or keep in touch over the summer? Even if she isn't interested she could add me and put me on maximum privacy. It's just not being added at all that hurts. The worst thing is this happens to me constantly. Girls show interest in me, but won't add me at all so I never get past first base with them. Is it because they are shy? I don't have a weird FB profile just normal with normal photos so it can't be that either.
There's a lot of unknowns here... when you add these people on Facebook (I didn't think the "YOOF" used that anymore, I thought it was all about Instagram these days?) Do you tell them you're going to send them a friend request? Do they know your full name or Facebook pseudonym? Do you have many mutual friends? I'm asking because girls are far more likely to get random friend requests from horny guys (in much the same way like they get much more matches / likes on dating apps).


Maybe there's things on there she'd rather you didn't know about; maybe she doesn't use Facebook that much... maybe she's got scammed or had some other bad experience following someone adding her, so her guard's up.

Also, let's be clear... has she actually declined your friend request or just not accepted it yet?

Next time, make sure the person knows you're going to add them... maybe say something like "It'd be great to keep in touch over the summer, what's your Facebook name?" At least then she'll know you're planning on adding her and she'll keep an eye out for your request.
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Anonymous #1
#5
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As an update, she finally added me last night after nine days. I was going to withdraw the request as well. I messaged her to say thanks and after that we briefly got talking. Unfortunately I got carried away and asked her out on a date and she basically friend zoned me there and then. She was pretty firm about it as well. I logged on again about an hour ago expecting her to have deleted me or blocked me but she hasn't so at least that's something, but I suppose that's it, ah well.
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Anonymous #2
#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
As an update, she finally added me last night after nine days. I was going to withdraw the request as well. I messaged her to say thanks and after that we briefly got talking. Unfortunately I got carried away and asked her out on a date and she basically friend zoned me there and then. She was pretty firm about it as well. I logged on again about an hour ago expecting her to have deleted me or blocked me but she hasn't so at least that's something, but I suppose that's it, ah well.
Why would you ask her out already😭😂. You’re way too fast mate.
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Belgianwaffle38
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#7
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#7
yeah next time take it slower. plenty more fish in the sea though you'll just have to be more clever next time.
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Anonymous #1
#8
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#8
I asked her out because term is ending in less than two weeks and then we won't see each other for ages because of the summer vacation as she doesn't live anywhere near me.
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Belgianwaffle38
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#9
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how long have you known her for?
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Anonymous #1
#10
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#10
We had the same class and seminar all year so since September, but we were chatting a bit after class since the start of the year, but I thought we were just friends and it was only a couple of weeks ago that I thought she was flirting with me. but I was obviously wrong there. I only asked her out because term here in London ends two weeks today and some people are leaving before then so it was pretty much the last chance.
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Old Skool Freak
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
As an update, she finally added me last night after nine days. I was going to withdraw the request as well. I messaged her to say thanks and after that we briefly got talking. Unfortunately I got carried away and asked her out on a date and she basically friend zoned me there and then. She was pretty firm about it as well. I logged on again about an hour ago expecting her to have deleted me or blocked me but she hasn't so at least that's something, but I suppose that's it, ah well.
I'm sure she'll be cool with you... as long as you don't keep hassling her to go out with you or try and flirt with her. You may want to avoid commenting too much on the stuff she posts as well (at least for the time-being), as you'll seem like you're a stalker. We all misread signals and get it wrong from time to time, so just put it down to experience and don't give yourself a hard time about it.

Sounds like you're dealing with it quite well, so kudos for you there :top:

(Original post by Anonymous)
We had the same class and seminar all year so since September, but we were chatting a bit after class since the start of the year, but I thought we were just friends and it was only a couple of weeks ago that I thought she was flirting with me. but I was obviously wrong there. I only asked her out because term here in London ends two weeks today and some people are leaving before then so it was pretty much the last chance.
When she accepted your request, you should have built up more of a rapport over the summer, and then maybe put your move on. There's that old saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder"

But look on the bright-side, you've now got the entire summer to look for someone (or at least to enjoy the "eye-candy"... I've just come back from my lunch break, and I swear I should've gone blind by now lol). And to top it all, you won't have your studies to get in the way of it.
Last edited by Old Skool Freak; 1 month ago
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