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How should I deal with my grades?

So I've always generally enjoyed learning and have always seen myself with potential to achieve very high marks but unfourtanely as an indiviudal I don't seem to react well around anxiety, stress, pressure etc and I believe that this has ruined a lot of my grade chances because of stress around exam timing, allowing circumstances to dictate my habits and mood leading to procrastination along with issues around bullying which made me often worry more about friendship issues and has often led me to betray my grades.

For GCSEs for example I wanted to get into a grammar school for sixth form and I was close but didnt make it. I had gotten 9 in Geography, 8 in history, 9 in literature, 7 in language (poor for me since in my mocks i was getting 8s persistently so i dont understand), 6 in chemistry (also poor since in my mocks i recieved 7s close to 8s even my chemistry teacher was optimistic), biology - 5 (poor too since i have also gotten a 7 in my mocks and so dont understand the big grade drop which im dissapointed in) and then 5 in physics and 4 in maths ( i have always struggled with maths so this isn't a surprise but I felt I could have atleast scored 9s, 8s and 7s in the other subjects atleast since i did have the potential and revised a lot)

So I didn't get into the grammar school i wanted and went to a different sixth form studying Geography, History and Politics. Again because i've allowed my circumstances around bullying, exam stress, anxieties etc to dictate my efforts, i unfourtanly did not get the grades i wanted either and did not get into the uni i wanted. I have gotten AAB ( the B for geography which now i regret as i was better of choosing english and the teachers were a large part why it was ruined for me) I was also predicted A* in politics and don't understand the drop there either.

I really regret that i didnt get better grades and really wished i could have got onto the prestigious / top universities because i always enjoy learning and really saw myself there but unfourtantly i've kept allowing my circumstances to ruin it for me. I'm studying English and History at University of Birmingham now going into second year but I don't really enjoy it there, I'm still bullied and generally unhappy, i try to be grateful that atleast i attend an university but somehow it's difficult for me and I have no options for transfer because of my A levels mainly , the one B ruins it all, and because you really need to be exceptional to even get considered for transfers to the more prestigious universities like Durham, St Andrews, Oxbridge, UCL/LSE etc

Should i just accept my faillings and live on and hope for an MA somewhere else or is there something I can do? I just feel like I could have done better and I'm constantly dissapointed with myself, this is especially difficult when I'm basing my future around academics mainly, writing, books etc so it would mean a lot if I had a good university to feel proud of but i don't
Original post by Anonymous

Should i just accept my faillings and live on and hope for an MA somewhere else or is there something I can do? I just feel like I could have done better and I'm constantly dissapointed with myself, this is especially difficult when I'm basing my future around academics mainly, writing, books etc so it would mean a lot if I had a good university to feel proud of but i don't


I think it's good to have a different perspective on this. I can understand that you had your heart set on other places, and while it may feel like failure, I think the better term for it would be "different". Things are just different to what you expected but that doesn't mean you have failed.

Your A level grades are good (great even), and I think it's important to note that you managed to do that while going through the other issues you have mentioned. I mean, you could still continue to look at other universities to see if they have any places left or even re-do that A-level grade you are not happy with if you really wanted, but at the same time, I feel like fixating on this or that grade/uni may be preventing you from being present in your life right now. It's possible that it's preventing you from enjoying your time on your course or preventing you from seeing the opportunities you have access to.

It's a valid reason if you're not enjoying the course and you want to transfer as I knew a guy who transferred four times before being happy, but make sure you're transferring because of such reasons and not purely because of a uni's reputation or how it sounds. And of course, you can always do an MA after - the option to go back into education will always be there throughout your life no matter what age you are. It's more important to be proud of the work you do, and the attitude you have towards your studies and people.

You also mentioned bullying and unhappiness in your post. Is it something you can tell someone and email your personal tutor about?
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If you’re truly unhappy you can try regardless and get a transfer, complete your current degree and attempt at them for your masters or you can drop out entirely, re-do your A-Levels and reapply? Ultimately, these are your only options to remedy your “failings” and get into a better Uni.

I must say though, UoB is a solid Uni with a great balance between academics and social life, I’m not sure where you’ve heard otherwise.

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