She deleted me on Insta 🤦*♂️🤣

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ConcordeBA
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#1
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I was talking to this girl I met abroad and she seemed to have gone cold. I gave her a bit of space because there was nothing really untoward said or done.

Today was a week since we last spoke and she'd deleted me and unfollowed me this morning.

I whatsapp her and asked why and she didn't respond straight away, just viewed my story and left me on read.

She then tells me she was having trouble, that if anyone messages me if I know her, I should say I don't. What kind of men does she talk to in her country that do that?

I'm in two minds if it's the truth or not, because she hasn't blocked me on WhatsApp and relinquished all contact, yet....

My gut tells me she doesn't want to invest in me emotionally because of the distance and she couldn't handle it anymore? My friend also said this because of the timing of me flying home. Because why would someone give the poor girl trouble over which men she follows? I'd say it rules one out ever seeing her again, despite her initially saying she really wanted me to come back?
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Muttly
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You have just a 'window' of knowledge about a girl and have been flattered by her attention. She probably enjoyed your company and insight into your own life back home. The intrigue is itching you. Unfortunately it sounds like you know very little about the real reality of life back home for this girl.

Cultural and societal expectations in other countries are hugely different to our own. We are so very lucky to have such a guilded lifestyle compared to some other countries. In that respect you are probably comfortably naive about crime, money and the expectations of women in other countries and of the environments they live in.

Let her go, and ignore any requests for contact. It's nothing you have said or done, just the reality of life as it is. Certainly do not send any money whatsoever, or be drawn in by any 'help' stories that could draw you in to a potential scam. One day you might be in a position to undertake practical help to improve the social environments of others, but not now.

It is precisely because you sound like a great considerate guy that you are at risk of being profiled for such a scam. Do take care of yourself first and foremost and if you start to get any money requests or similar such communications make contact with someone you trust or any Uni advice service. You deserve to find someone who shares your genuine concerns and kind outlook.
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ConcordeBA
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Muttly)
You have just a 'window' of knowledge about a girl and have been flattered by her attention. She probably enjoyed your company and insight into your own life back home. The intrigue is itching you. Unfortunately it sounds like you know very little about the real reality of life back home for this girl.

Cultural and societal expectations in other countries are hugely different to our own. We are so very lucky to have such a guilded lifestyle compared to some other countries. In that respect you are probably comfortably naive about crime, money and the expectations of women in other countries and of the environments they live in.

Let her go, and ignore any requests for contact. It's nothing you have said or done, just the reality of life as it is. Certainly do not send any money whatsoever, or be drawn in by any 'help' stories that could draw you in to a potential scam. One day you might be in a position to undertake practical help to improve the social environments of others, but not now.

It is precisely because you sound like a great considerate guy that you are at risk of being profiled for such a scam. Do take care of yourself first and foremost and if you start to get any money requests or similar such communications make contact with someone you trust or any Uni advice service. You deserve to find someone who shares your genuine concerns and kind outlook.
Such a thoughtful and kind post, thank you.

Now I've had time to read and digest your post, it makes perfect sense. I had very little insight to her life, but at no point did she request anything from me, except for me to return and see her again. It is such a drastic change and tone from a week ago that I'm a little taken back, because how does someone switch overnight like that.

I was somewhat realistic that in her culture, I probably wouldn't be accepted, although I get things have changed over the years and western culture is more acceptable, although maybe that's more so in the UK?

I was drawn in slightly with her wage and that after rent, she basically works for free and supports herself. What I get in a day is what she gets in a month, which is just upsetting and shocking.

I did feel a strong connection with her, not at least because she showed and told me she liked me, it's just very perplexing that someone has gone to the lengths to ensure she removes me from contact. It just seems so unbelievable that someone would be that vicious to control them in such a way?

Whilst I fully accept I have to move on, because there's no point in mulling over it anymore. Why on earth has she not blocked me on WhatsApp?
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