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One night stand lost me my virginity
Please keep anon or delete.
Very long story. Sorry.
I was friends with this guy I'd met through a friend at uni and basically sometimes we'd hang out and had fun. A few times I'd been over his house and twice we'd ended up play fighting and I got depressed one time because we'd been play-fighting and he'd had his arm round me whilst we were watching stuff on his laptop so I'd thought I'd maybe have a chance and I got depressed because I realised he liked my friend's flatmate.
Then, the other night we were at his for a "party" although only like 5 people were there and he mixed me a drink and I don't really drink but I thought I'd go with it.
The drink didn't really agree with me and my friend even pointed out to the guy that he'd gotten me drunk and I ended up on the edge of his bed half asleep whilst they played Xbox. He said I could crash cause I wasn't really in much of a state to go home. And to be honest, I wanted to stay.
My friend left and the guy set up the sofa bed next to his bed but I was already cosied up underneath his duvet so he let me stay in his bed and he got in.
We sort of cuddled up for a while and I think I woke up a little bit more but I was aware enough. We ended up playfighting a little more and basically he tried to get me back by unhooking my bra.
It sort of went from there. Basically we ended up with no clothes and I guess we were about to do it but he stopped. He told me that he wasn't interested in me that way and that it would be a bad idea and I told him at one point about how he'd made me all depressed a few weeks back and he guessed it was because of the girl he'd liked even though she'd rejected him. He talked about how he'd had a **** buddy in the past and how I was a friend. And that he had a friend that when they met up they didn't plan to they just ended up having sex. Which made me feel weird. I didn't know where I stood on the ********* thing. He said that we couldn't really be **** buddys. I didn't really say much about it.
We ended up messing around again after a little while of cuddling up trying to sleep. And he had his arm around me and touched me a few times. When he touched my breasts I didn't really like it because they're not particularly big so I felt awkward - it was just awkward as hell. When he'd first gone up my top before our clothes came off I'd joked to him "You won't find much up there" and when we were quite close a bit later on and he went down the way I said "You're not going to like down there much either" We pulled a little too and he told me that I pulled weird. At one point I went "Eww, you had your tongue in my mouth!" and then I told him that my friend owed me a fiver because we were sad enough to make a bet that whoever got a pull first would get the fiver. And I don't know why I mentioned that. But it told him that I was a virgin. Which really anybody could have guessed. I feel really pathetic that it was my first pull too.
Basically we got to a point where we were sort of rubbing and then he said "I'm getting a condom" and I don't really know how I felt about that - I was a little like what the hell because I was nervous/embarrassed but I think a part of me didn't mind.
Just before he put it on he said "I'm so tempted to do it without it" and I was like "I'm not Jackie" he asked me who that was and I said to him quite bluntly "Where do you think I came from?" because my mother had me when she was 19 and I think I was a mistake. Probably under similar circumstances. So he put it on.
Of course, I didn't really know what to do so he kind of had to correct me a few times which was really embarrassing. It didn't help that he kept falling out. He asked me a few times if I was ok and I said I was. I pulled him a few times just because I didn't really know what else to do.
It was kind of sore keeping my legs so wide and it wasn't all that comfortable. I don't think it was as sore for me as it should have been because I'm not too much of a stranger with masturbation as it were.
It was short and it was a bit rubish. He told me you can tell when it's been bad because he came far too quickly. I didn't even notice. He was a lot rougher than I would have thought and I can't get the sound out of my head of stuff hitting off stuff and the bed creaking....
I made a joke after about how I could have done a better job myself. Which I probably shouldn't have said...
There was one thing I absolutely could not do the whole time we were in that bed and that was look at his penis. I caught a few glimpses out the corner of my eye and even though it was dark I couldn't do it. He also made a few jokes about giving him a blowjob and I told him what he could do with that idea...
There was one point in the night where I couldn't sleep because it was cold. I asked him if he had any spare boxers because I didn't have a clue in the dark where he'd flung my knickers. So I got out of bed and started fumbling with the clothes horse at the foot of his bed. He switched on his bedside lamp at that point and I was so embarrassed. I shouted at him to switch it off and he put the light on twice. Which I really wasn't happy with because I was so embarrassed about being naked.
And it all sounds like some of it was a big joke but it was really weird and I don't understand at all. I don't do things like that. I was kept awake the whole night not because I was thinking about it but because I wasn't used to another person's bed and sharing a bed with someone who wanted to put there arm around you.
In the morning it was really bad because I had to wait until the other person who had slept in the living room left so I could use the bathroom. I had to find all my clothes and I couldn't find my socks so I had to go sockless. I felt like hell. It was about 7 o'Clock and I had a tutorial at 9 which my friend told me the night before I should go to. I asked the guy when his lecture was. His lecture was at 11. I left and went back to mine to shower and change my clothes.
I didn't know what to feel. He'd told me he wasn't interested. And I couldn't understand why I'd gone along with all of it. I knew a part of me wanted it and probably wants more from him. I can't stop thinking about it. I almost want another chance to do it better and I keep playing it back in my minds eye. I've been drifiting off during conversations with other people thinking about it. I'm just so confused.
I told my friend what I'd done and she was like "what the...?" it's not like me at all. I don't get drunk. I don't do stuff like that.
I know I have no chance with him. I text him later on that evening when I'd had a little sleep and I asked him if he regretted it. Because I was sure regretting it a little by then. And I feel almost a little used even though I don't really think I have any right to feel used because I wanted it sort of.
He said "Regret? No, but it can't and won't happen again"
He also said that "it had it's moments." There's a part of me that thinks that's only the part where he came. It's probably bad that I think that. I said I was confused about why I'd done it and stuff and that it wasn't like me.
He replied "I can't answer those "questions"
I told him I was sorry I was being so difficult. And he said "You're not."
I've not text him or seen him since. I went back to my hometown for the weekend because I had the feeling that if I stayed in my halls all alone all weekend like I usually do then I would just end up thinking about it even more.
When I was talking to my friend about she asked about things and she asked me if I felt bad for not having a special first time. And I agreed because in all honesty it wasn't all that great. He got more out of it than me. I feel bad I wrecked my first time. But I think it might be my only time. Although that's not why I did it.
I'm really confused.
I think just telling this story clarifys a few things but if anybody wants to comment or offer advice I'm grateful.
Very long story. Sorry.
I was friends with this guy I'd met through a friend at uni and basically sometimes we'd hang out and had fun. A few times I'd been over his house and twice we'd ended up play fighting and I got depressed one time because we'd been play-fighting and he'd had his arm round me whilst we were watching stuff on his laptop so I'd thought I'd maybe have a chance and I got depressed because I realised he liked my friend's flatmate.
Then, the other night we were at his for a "party" although only like 5 people were there and he mixed me a drink and I don't really drink but I thought I'd go with it.
The drink didn't really agree with me and my friend even pointed out to the guy that he'd gotten me drunk and I ended up on the edge of his bed half asleep whilst they played Xbox. He said I could crash cause I wasn't really in much of a state to go home. And to be honest, I wanted to stay.
My friend left and the guy set up the sofa bed next to his bed but I was already cosied up underneath his duvet so he let me stay in his bed and he got in.
We sort of cuddled up for a while and I think I woke up a little bit more but I was aware enough. We ended up playfighting a little more and basically he tried to get me back by unhooking my bra.
It sort of went from there. Basically we ended up with no clothes and I guess we were about to do it but he stopped. He told me that he wasn't interested in me that way and that it would be a bad idea and I told him at one point about how he'd made me all depressed a few weeks back and he guessed it was because of the girl he'd liked even though she'd rejected him. He talked about how he'd had a **** buddy in the past and how I was a friend. And that he had a friend that when they met up they didn't plan to they just ended up having sex. Which made me feel weird. I didn't know where I stood on the ********* thing. He said that we couldn't really be **** buddys. I didn't really say much about it.
We ended up messing around again after a little while of cuddling up trying to sleep. And he had his arm around me and touched me a few times. When he touched my breasts I didn't really like it because they're not particularly big so I felt awkward - it was just awkward as hell. When he'd first gone up my top before our clothes came off I'd joked to him "You won't find much up there" and when we were quite close a bit later on and he went down the way I said "You're not going to like down there much either" We pulled a little too and he told me that I pulled weird. At one point I went "Eww, you had your tongue in my mouth!" and then I told him that my friend owed me a fiver because we were sad enough to make a bet that whoever got a pull first would get the fiver. And I don't know why I mentioned that. But it told him that I was a virgin. Which really anybody could have guessed. I feel really pathetic that it was my first pull too.
Basically we got to a point where we were sort of rubbing and then he said "I'm getting a condom" and I don't really know how I felt about that - I was a little like what the hell because I was nervous/embarrassed but I think a part of me didn't mind.
Just before he put it on he said "I'm so tempted to do it without it" and I was like "I'm not Jackie" he asked me who that was and I said to him quite bluntly "Where do you think I came from?" because my mother had me when she was 19 and I think I was a mistake. Probably under similar circumstances. So he put it on.
Of course, I didn't really know what to do so he kind of had to correct me a few times which was really embarrassing. It didn't help that he kept falling out. He asked me a few times if I was ok and I said I was. I pulled him a few times just because I didn't really know what else to do.
It was kind of sore keeping my legs so wide and it wasn't all that comfortable. I don't think it was as sore for me as it should have been because I'm not too much of a stranger with masturbation as it were.
It was short and it was a bit rubish. He told me you can tell when it's been bad because he came far too quickly. I didn't even notice. He was a lot rougher than I would have thought and I can't get the sound out of my head of stuff hitting off stuff and the bed creaking....
I made a joke after about how I could have done a better job myself. Which I probably shouldn't have said...
There was one thing I absolutely could not do the whole time we were in that bed and that was look at his penis. I caught a few glimpses out the corner of my eye and even though it was dark I couldn't do it. He also made a few jokes about giving him a blowjob and I told him what he could do with that idea...
There was one point in the night where I couldn't sleep because it was cold. I asked him if he had any spare boxers because I didn't have a clue in the dark where he'd flung my knickers. So I got out of bed and started fumbling with the clothes horse at the foot of his bed. He switched on his bedside lamp at that point and I was so embarrassed. I shouted at him to switch it off and he put the light on twice. Which I really wasn't happy with because I was so embarrassed about being naked.
And it all sounds like some of it was a big joke but it was really weird and I don't understand at all. I don't do things like that. I was kept awake the whole night not because I was thinking about it but because I wasn't used to another person's bed and sharing a bed with someone who wanted to put there arm around you.
In the morning it was really bad because I had to wait until the other person who had slept in the living room left so I could use the bathroom. I had to find all my clothes and I couldn't find my socks so I had to go sockless. I felt like hell. It was about 7 o'Clock and I had a tutorial at 9 which my friend told me the night before I should go to. I asked the guy when his lecture was. His lecture was at 11. I left and went back to mine to shower and change my clothes.
I didn't know what to feel. He'd told me he wasn't interested. And I couldn't understand why I'd gone along with all of it. I knew a part of me wanted it and probably wants more from him. I can't stop thinking about it. I almost want another chance to do it better and I keep playing it back in my minds eye. I've been drifiting off during conversations with other people thinking about it. I'm just so confused.
I told my friend what I'd done and she was like "what the...?" it's not like me at all. I don't get drunk. I don't do stuff like that.
I know I have no chance with him. I text him later on that evening when I'd had a little sleep and I asked him if he regretted it. Because I was sure regretting it a little by then. And I feel almost a little used even though I don't really think I have any right to feel used because I wanted it sort of.
He said "Regret? No, but it can't and won't happen again"
He also said that "it had it's moments." There's a part of me that thinks that's only the part where he came. It's probably bad that I think that. I said I was confused about why I'd done it and stuff and that it wasn't like me.
He replied "I can't answer those "questions"
I told him I was sorry I was being so difficult. And he said "You're not."
I've not text him or seen him since. I went back to my hometown for the weekend because I had the feeling that if I stayed in my halls all alone all weekend like I usually do then I would just end up thinking about it even more.
When I was talking to my friend about she asked about things and she asked me if I felt bad for not having a special first time. And I agreed because in all honesty it wasn't all that great. He got more out of it than me. I feel bad I wrecked my first time. But I think it might be my only time. Although that's not why I did it.
I'm really confused.
I think just telling this story clarifys a few things but if anybody wants to comment or offer advice I'm grateful.
Scroll to see replies
I lost my virginity through a one night stand, only I thought we were gonna go further than that. Oh and I was stupidly drunk 
But yeah, I don't mind that that was the way I lost, I really do mind about the fact that 2 weeks later it was if it had never happened. I'm still getting over the guy, haven't seen him in 3 months
But yeah, I don't mind that that was the way I lost, I really do mind about the fact that 2 weeks later it was if it had never happened. I'm still getting over the guy, haven't seen him in 3 months Nynyflower
I lost my virginity through a one night stand, only I thought we were gonna go further than that. Oh and I was stupidly drunk But yeah, I don't mind that that was the way I lost, I really do mind about the fact that 2 weeks later it was if it had never happened. I'm still getting over the guy, haven't seen him in 3 months
But yeah, I don't mind that that was the way I lost, I really do mind about the fact that 2 weeks later it was if it had never happened. I'm still getting over the guy, haven't seen him in 3 months It sucks
Wobbles
Also tl;dr.
Your username wouldn't happen to end in flower... would it?...
Your username wouldn't happen to end in flower... would it?...
Wha? I didn't write the anonymous post!
HCD
Even if it was, I'm sure it's been de-flowered now.
The OP doesn't find that funny. All jokes about sex are not funny now. The OPs friends keep taking the piss out of her about it which isn't helping...
Anonymous
The OP doesn't find that funny. All jokes about sex are not funny now. The OPs friends keep taking the piss out of her about it which isn't helping...
Awww, seriously, you will get over it, it'll take some time, yes, but you'll fall for someone else!
Mine was a sort of one night stand but I knew the guy, weird thing was he was in my registration class when I was 11 and I only saw him 6 years later. I saw him twice at a club I used to go to (both times we kissed etc) before I took him back to (this is bad) my friends house. It was okay, a bit akward and not comfortable all the time, but okay. I enjoyed it to an extent. Anyway we started something, he was a child and I ended it.
In hindsight not the best decision of my life, very rash and not brilliant. I did feel embaressed for a while and really silly for doing it that way but what is done is done.
Sounds like the guy is being okay about the whole thing (not a complete kid like the guy I was seeing was), like he said he can't answer those questions only you really can.
If you had planned it to be special then I guess it can be a let down, but you shouldn't at all feel regret. In your mind you made a mistake, and maybe you did. What you can do is learn from it and if you feel like sex should be something special don't let it happen again until you really are sure and want it to happen.
Try not to let it get to you that much, you did nothing wrong! If it helps to talk about it, I know I talked about it a lot, just let it all out and speak about it with friends.
Edit: As for your friends taking the mickey well that's not on. Tell them you don't apprehciate it and they aren't at all being helpful.
In hindsight not the best decision of my life, very rash and not brilliant. I did feel embaressed for a while and really silly for doing it that way but what is done is done.
Sounds like the guy is being okay about the whole thing (not a complete kid like the guy I was seeing was), like he said he can't answer those questions only you really can.
If you had planned it to be special then I guess it can be a let down, but you shouldn't at all feel regret. In your mind you made a mistake, and maybe you did. What you can do is learn from it and if you feel like sex should be something special don't let it happen again until you really are sure and want it to happen.
Try not to let it get to you that much, you did nothing wrong! If it helps to talk about it, I know I talked about it a lot, just let it all out and speak about it with friends.
Edit: As for your friends taking the mickey well that's not on. Tell them you don't apprehciate it and they aren't at all being helpful.
misswilliams
Mine was a sort of one night stand but I knew the guy, weird thing was he was in my registration class when I was 11 and I only saw him 6 years later. I saw him twice at a club I used to go to (both times we kissed etc) before I took him back to (this is bad) my friends house. It was okay, a bit akward and not comfortable all the time, but okay. I enjoyed it to an extent. Anyway we started something, he was a child and I ended it.
In hindsight not the best decision of my life, very rash and not brilliant. I did feel embaressed for a while and really silly for doing it that way but what is done is done.
Sounds like the guy is being okay about the whole thing (not a complete kid like the guy I was seeing was), like he said he can't answer those questions only you really can.
If you had planned it to be special then I guess it can be a let down, but you shouldn't at all feel regret. In your mind you made a mistake, and maybe you did. What you can do is learn from it and if you feel like sex should be something special don't let it happen again until you really are sure and want it to happen.
Try not to let it get to you that much, you did nothing wrong! If it helps to talk about it, I know I talked about it a lot, just let it all out and speak about it with friends.
Edit: As for your friends taking the mickey well that's not on. Tell them you don't appreciate it and they aren't at all being helpful.
In hindsight not the best decision of my life, very rash and not brilliant. I did feel embaressed for a while and really silly for doing it that way but what is done is done.
Sounds like the guy is being okay about the whole thing (not a complete kid like the guy I was seeing was), like he said he can't answer those questions only you really can.
If you had planned it to be special then I guess it can be a let down, but you shouldn't at all feel regret. In your mind you made a mistake, and maybe you did. What you can do is learn from it and if you feel like sex should be something special don't let it happen again until you really are sure and want it to happen.
Try not to let it get to you that much, you did nothing wrong! If it helps to talk about it, I know I talked about it a lot, just let it all out and speak about it with friends.
Edit: As for your friends taking the mickey well that's not on. Tell them you don't appreciate it and they aren't at all being helpful.
I did try and speak about it with friends. Close friends. They keep calling me a slag as a joke and they told somebody else what I'd done right in front of me.
I don't really know what to say to him. I think we might of wrecked what friendship we had.
I think I will learn from it just because I regret it. I wish he knew how strange I feel right now
loco123
you said 'your not going to like down there much either' lol way to turn a guy on.
all seems abit odd to me, i'm not sure i believe this post is real.
all seems abit odd to me, i'm not sure i believe this post is real.
He was feeling me up. And I'm not really comfortable with myself so all I could really do was joke/tell the truth.
As bad as your first time was, it is really only as bad as you let it be. First time really is not special... trust me. I had what most would consider to be a "good" first time, but looking back at it, I could have just as well had a story like yours and it wouldn't have made a difference. Cheer up girl... you got plenty to look forward to.
Bateman
so he said he wasn't intrested, but he still managed to sleep with you, what a pimp lol?
One of the most effective ways to get a women who is unsure about sleeping with you to sleep with you is to do a bit of sexual contact, then stop. It drives them crazy.
The OP's biggest problem in my opinion is a lack of confidence.
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