Relationship issues/ advice needed

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chlx3_xoxox
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Last edited by chlx3_xoxox; 4 weeks ago
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Zarek
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Personally, from what you say I would hoof him out, enjoy being single for a bit and take it from there. Leaving aside his very questionable behaviour, 18 is way too young to settle down
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by chlx3_xoxox)
Hi everyone, I’m 18yro and my boyfriend is 21yro. We’ve been together 9 months and we have a flat together. He hasn’t paid rent apart from £140 over the past 3 months because he lost his job. The s3x is non existent it literally happens like once every few months. Last night he told me he isn’t attracted to me anymore which really upset me. When I cry he just turns his back and gets annoyed with me. I keep thinking things will get better but they aren’t. Everyone’s telling me to leave him but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m really stuck and I don’t know what to do x
you already know what to do it seems. i know it's difficult, but you have to cut him off - he clearly doesn't value anything else but the money. it sucks to hear that, but genuinely don't waste your time with him. at 18, you shouldn't have to worry about a grown man like this. good luck babes xx
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tinyperson
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CO- cut him off. Good luck and find a hobby etc as well.
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Feastful
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(Original post by chlx3_xoxox)
Hi everyone, I’m 18yro and my boyfriend is 21yro. We’ve been together 9 months and we have a flat together. He hasn’t paid rent apart from £140 over the past 3 months because he lost his job. The s3x is non existent it literally happens like once every few months. Last night he told me he isn’t attracted to me anymore which really upset me. When I cry he just turns his back and gets annoyed with me. I keep thinking things will get better but they aren’t. Everyone’s telling me to leave him but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m really stuck and I don’t know what to do x
Why can't you bring yourself to do it? The guy sounds like a total parasite.

Is this really the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with?? No? Then why are you wasting your time - your youth - with him? What exactly are you getting out of this relationship? Is this guy your charity case???

Your friends are sensible. Listen to the people telling you to ditch this guy.
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Meduse
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You could be happy.

Leave him or you'll lose yourself.
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chlx3_xoxox
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(Original post by Feastful)
Why can't you bring yourself to do it? The guy sounds like a total parasite.

Is this really the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with?? No? Then why are you wasting your time - your youth - with him? What exactly are you getting out of this relationship? Is this guy your charity case???

Your friends are sensible. Listen to the people telling you to ditch this guy.
So update. He came home very drunk and started throwing boots at me. Slammed the door on my hand and grabbed my throat screaming in my face so I slapped him and got out the house as quick as I could. I went back and asked him to talk it out and he broke up with me, calling me fat while doing so. I’m 12st and 5’6 so I know I’m not skinny but I’ve actually lost weight since we’ve been together. I feel so empty.
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Feastful
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(Original post by chlx3_xoxox)
So update. He came home very drunk and started throwing boots at me. Slammed the door on my hand and grabbed my throat screaming in my face so I slapped him and got out the house as quick as I could. I went back and asked him to talk it out and he broke up with me, calling me fat while doing so. I’m 12st and 5’6 so I know I’m not skinny but I’ve actually lost weight since we’ve been together. I feel so empty.
Your ex is a nasty piece of work and what he did was assault.

DO NOT TRY TO GET BACK WITH THIS GUY!!!! I can't emphasize this enough.

Contact your friends/family and tell them whats happened.

When someone is violent towards you (and he was), you don't try to just "talk things out", you get out of the situation ASAP and then refuse to have any contact with them!!

You're not fat and you're not worthless.
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Dunnig Kruger
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Your life will be so much better without him.
You should consider reporting his bodily harm on you to the police.
See about getting a restraining order against him to help you wash this evil man completely out of your life.
Tell all your social circle about what he did to you.

Pop down to your local library and borrow and read the following 3 books
The Wisdom of Psychopaths. The lead up to your break up was one of those times when you should have behaved more like a psychopath (a good psychopath).
How Not to Die by Dr Greger
How Not to Diet by Dr Greger

Try to take a zoomed out look at your life. You have a great future ahead of you. Life will throw hurdles at you. That's the nature of life. It's the downs in life that make the ups seem so fantastically good - if you have your head screwed on properly.
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steveaitchison00
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#10
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I'm sorry you've had to deal with this kind of behaviour.

From what you've said, it doesn't sound like there are any positive aspects to this relationship. He clearly doesn't even respect you, never mind love you. Every day you stay in this situation means your own self-respect is impacted. You need to get out of this and soon, and I think deep down you know this.

Sometimes how we feel about ourselves can limit our actions - we don't feel worthy enough, we somehow feel like we deserve to be in a crappy situation, or that your actions or inactions have led to this. It's all nonsense and it's just your brain telling you what it thinks you want to hear. But it can mean you avoid doing something, which is maybe the case in this situation.

You deserve to be happy and to be with someone who treats you right. There are no exceptions to this. You are worth more than you're currently experiencing.
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