Thoughts Average Looking

Watch this thread
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
Hello just wanted thoughts on whether or not average looking guys are able to attract girls. I am average looking myself, yet I get told from working with colleagues that I am a polite gentleman, and from their experience from having known me from a long time they know I am able to take care of a girl properly because of my polite, caring and affection nature and personality. Although I’d like your experience can being average looking actually attract girls or is that something that puts one off especially with such a humorous, gentle and humble personality. And if you consider being average looking yourself and tried out various dating apps or app did you manage to get any success?

Thank you!
0
reply
gtty123
Badges: 22
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#2
Report 4 weeks ago
#2
Well, no, they can't...

Just look around you. There are average, 'ugly' and 'attractive' people in relationships.
1
reply
ROTL94 2
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#3
Report 4 weeks ago
#3
Obviously. Just take a look out your window. Lots of blokes are far from being male models but have wives and girlfriends
2
reply
Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#4
(Original post by ROTL94 2)
Obviously. Just take a look out your window. Lots of blokes are far from being male models but have wives and girlfriends
That’s encouraging though I just don’t seem to know why I am not having any success wouldn’t be the right term but you know luck more like.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#5
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#5
(Original post by gtty123)
Well, no, they can't...

Just look around you. There are average, 'ugly' and 'attractive' people in relationships.
So what would be your tips especially for myself. I really believe online dating could work but it’s just about finding that one person out there which is difficult.
0
reply
gtty123
Badges: 22
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#6
Report 3 weeks ago
#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
So what would be your tips especially for myself. I really believe online dating could work but it’s just about finding that one person out there which is difficult.
I don't use apps, nor will I ever use them - I think they're quite 'luck' based - i.e. you will only find a match rarely and they'd be decent.

In terms of advice, just do your thing.
0
reply
Zarek
Badges: 21
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#7
Report 3 weeks ago
#7
To have people actively coming on to you, you need to be well above average. Everyone else has to work hard for it, but of course you can be successful
1
reply
Old Skool Freak
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#8
Report 3 weeks ago
#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello just wanted thoughts on whether or not average looking guys are able to attract girls. I am average looking myself, yet I get told from working with colleagues that I am a polite gentleman, and from their experience from having known me from a long time they know I am able to take care of a girl properly because of my polite, caring and affection nature and personality. Although I’d like your experience can being average looking actually attract girls or is that something that puts one off especially with such a humorous, gentle and humble personality. And if you consider being average looking yourself and tried out various dating apps or app did you manage to get any success?

Thank you!
Hi,

I don't think being "average" looking is ever going to be off-putting to anyone... but at the same time there's nothing about being "average" that is likely to draw / entice people towards you.

As I said in another thread, girls will date someone because they see something in that person that they like; it's not often they'll date someone for the sake of it (unless, they're particularly lonely / desperate, perhaps). So I suggest you have a think about your own attributes that make you special and treat it as a marketing exercise.

Regardless of what these so-called incels may tell you, girls can be attracted to all different types of guys. Sure being having height, good looks and an athletic physique will help, but that's just ONE example of how you can make yourself stand out there are several other ways you can do it. You don't have to be good looking, but it helps if you've got something that women will like. I mean, taking the pretty girls you see on a night out into isolation, there is still a massive scope of guys they can go for, completely excluding the so-called "Chad".

For example, if you flash the cash, sling the bling etc. you'll be attractive to the Gold-digging types. You can normally spot these kinds hanging around the VIP areas of a nightclub, the WAG wannabe's who are immaculately presented with their big-hair; designer labels; fake tans and fake chests etc. These girls have a lot of game and are (generally) less concerned with how classically good looking someone is... but they're after a guy with MONEY, so you have to dress and act the part. They want all the trappings of wealth, so you'd need a nice place to live in an affluent area; a luxury car; treated to exotic holidays and expensive nights on the town. Basically you'd need to be prepared to throw a lot of money at them.

On the other hand, if you act like the baddedst "mother-lover" in the house, then you're more likely to appeal to the girls who crave fun & excitement. These are normally the ones who were the cool kids at school (e.g. a badass brunette or an ice-cool blonde), who always dress in a way to show off that killer body of theirs. . They enjoy the status of having an Strong tough guy (e.g. Alpha male), so there's some benefits in the old "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" philosophy (not that I condone this) ... they also tend to love sex, so if you can show them a good time in the bedroom (or wherever takes your fancy) you'll have them hooked. They also tend to be quite young (e.g. teenagers, early 20's; they normally grow out of it by their mid-late 20's) so make the most of it.

If you can strut your stuff and have got the moves to make Usher, Chris Brown and Justin Timberlake jealous, then you'll attract the more creative / expressive types. They can adopt various looks / persona's but they're distinguished in that they tend to have very high energy levels (think Children's TV presenter on acid lol). She'll test your moves and see if you can match that in the bedroom. On the other hand, if you can show you're a good listener / conversationalist; show that you've got a cheeky (but not offensive) sense of humour; mention things like having your own place and realistic career aspirations, then you'll connect with those good girls, who just want to meet a decent guy without all the BS.

Again, the above are just examples, and they're centred around the more attractive girls who may frequent the party scene. If you expand that to all different kinds of girls, then obviously there's a lot more things average guys can do to make themselves more attractive... they just need to know what they can offer girls, and treat it as an advertising / marketing exercise. If you think about it hard enough, I'm sure there's something you can use in your arsenal?
Last edited by Old Skool Freak; 3 weeks ago
0
reply
sufys
Badges: 20
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#9
Report 3 weeks ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hello just wanted thoughts on whether or not average looking guys are able to attract girls. I am average looking myself, yet I get told from working with colleagues that I am a polite gentleman, and from their experience from having known me from a long time they know I am able to take care of a girl properly because of my polite, caring and affection nature and personality. Although I’d like your experience can being average looking actually attract girls or is that something that puts one off especially with such a humorous, gentle and humble personality. And if you consider being average looking yourself and tried out various dating apps or app did you manage to get any success?

Thank you!
Average looking guys can certainly attract girls. I'm not sure why you needed an answer to this question.
I don't think the state of being average will necessarily attract girls but it certainly won't be off-putting to most.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#10
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#10
(Original post by sufys)
Average looking guys can certainly attract girls. I'm not sure why you needed an answer to this question.
I don't think the state of being average will necessarily attract girls but it certainly won't be off-putting to most.
I don’t think so I respect your opinion even though I am of sensible nature and background and in all honesty since I am average I hardly have or had any luck and neither do I believe I will I really just don’t quite understand what’s going wrong and why wouldn’t I find success of a dating app. it’s a little disheartening makes me feel ugly for one and like as though I’m not worth it or good for someone ;(.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by Zarek)
To have people actively coming on to you, you need to be well above average. Everyone else has to work hard for it, but of course you can be successful
Work hard in what ways would you mean? Appearance wise, personality wise etc?
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#12
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#12
(Original post by gtty123)
I don't use apps, nor will I ever use them - I think they're quite 'luck' based - i.e. you will only find a match rarely and they'd be decent.

In terms of advice, just do your thing.
Just be myself if that’s what you meant thank you and I’ll try .
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
Hi,

I don't think being "average" looking is ever going to be off-putting to anyone... but at the same time there's nothing about being "average" that is likely to draw / entice people towards you.

As I said in another thread, girls will date someone because they see something in that person that they like; it's not often they'll date someone for the sake of it (unless, they're particularly lonely / desperate, perhaps). So I suggest you have a think about your own attributes that make you special and treat it as a marketing exercise.

Regardless of what these so-called incels may tell you, girls can be attracted to all different types of guys. Sure being having height, good looks and an athletic physique will help, but that's just ONE example of how you can make yourself stand out there are several other ways you can do it. You don't have to be good looking, but it helps if you've got something that women will like. I mean, taking the pretty girls you see on a night out into isolation, there is still a massive scope of guys they can go for, completely excluding the so-called "Chad".

For example, if you flash the cash, sling the bling etc. you'll be attractive to the Gold-digging types. You can normally spot these kinds hanging around the VIP areas of a nightclub, the WAG wannabe's who are immaculately presented with their big-hair; designer labels; fake tans and fake chests etc. These girls have a lot of game and are (generally) less concerned with how classically good looking someone is... but they're after a guy with MONEY, so you have to dress and act the part. They want all the trappings of wealth, so you'd need a nice place to live in an affluent area; a luxury car; treated to exotic holidays and expensive nights on the town. Basically you'd need to be prepared to throw a lot of money at them.

On the other hand, if you act like the baddedst "mother-lover" in the house, then you're more likely to appeal to the girls who crave fun & excitement. These are normally the ones who were the cool kids at school (e.g. a badass brunette or an ice-cool blonde), who always dress in a way to show off that killer body of theirs. . They enjoy the status of having an Strong tough guy (e.g. Alpha male), so there's some benefits in the old "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" philosophy (not that I condone this) ... they also tend to love sex, so if you can show them a good time in the bedroom (or wherever takes your fancy) you'll have them hooked. They also tend to be quite young (e.g. teenagers, early 20's; they normally grow out of it by their mid-late 20's) so make the most of it.

If you can strut your stuff and have got the moves to make Usher, Chris Brown and Justin Timberlake jealous, then you'll attract the more creative / expressive types. They can adopt various looks / persona's but they're distinguished in that they tend to have very high energy levels (think Children's TV presenter on acid lol). She'll test your moves and see if you can match that in the bedroom. On the other hand, if you can show you're a good listener / conversationalist; show that you've got a cheeky (but not offensive) sense of humour; mention things like having your own place and realistic career aspirations, then you'll connect with those good girls, who just want to meet a decent guy without all the BS.

Again, the above are just examples, and they're centred around the more attractive girls who may frequent the party scene. If you expand that to all different kinds of girls, then obviously there's a lot more things average guys can do to make themselves more attractive... they just need to know what they can offer girls, and treat it as an advertising / marketing exercise. If you think about it hard enough, I'm sure there's something you can use in your arsenal?
I was the flash the cash, sling the bling ;/ and I did get gold-digged on emotionally blackmailed, played and cheated on.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#14
Report 3 weeks ago
#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
Work hard in what ways would you mean? Appearance wise, personality wise etc?
Yeah, in every possible way. Your looks are down to genetics and some people are unfortunate to be small or have low metabolism or have an unattractive facial structure. Those things can be improved by going to the gym and you will need to work much harder to achieve those 'model' looks compared to a guy who already has naturally supermodel looks.

Also, another thing that I wanted to tell you is that niceness in itself is not attractive to girls. Being polite or a gentleman is a bare minimum that some girls expect from a guy and it doesn't really bring anything to the table. Girls are attracted to money, social status and looks. Your personality only comes last when they decide if you're the person that they could settle down with, but niceness or being a gentleman is not an attractive trait in itself. There are plenty of guys who have criminal records, smoke weed, do drugs and do f**k all with their lives, but they still get laid, because they still have the fundamentals that attract a girl. E.g strong jawline, good six pack, bad boy attitude and being very tall or muscly. I guess you could say that treating girls badly and being a bad boy is seen as more attractive by girls than being a nice gentleman. Most girls love the alpha male types or the chad types. If you're not in this category, it will be very hard for you to get with anyone.
1
reply
Old Skool Freak
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#15
Report 3 weeks ago
#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
I was the flash the cash, sling the bling ;/ and I did get gold-digged on emotionally blackmailed, played and cheated on.
Well that's evidence that "flashing the cash" works, no? It's a formula that works for a lot of people. Maybe it doesn't attract the kind of girls you want, maybe you were unlucky with her, or maybe there were other aspects that led to her treating you badly... either way, I can't comment on that, that's more something for you to think about. On the other hand, if you want to avoid meeting anyone like that in future, then you know not to be so flash in future.

As I said, those were just examples, what other tools have you got in your arsenal? You say you're polite, but are you actually a fun / interesting person to be around? Do you have any hobbies / interests? What's your sense of style like? Can you work on getting exceptionally good at something?

(Original post by Anonymous)
Just be myself if that’s what you meant thank you and I’ll try .
Although sayings such as "be yourself" are often said with the best intentions, I don't think they're particularly useful when said to someone who is already struggling with girls... it kind of implies 'just carry on, and your perfect girl will fall on your lap at some point, promise'. Given there's at least one middle aged male here who admits they've never had any contact with girls at all, it's evident you need to be more pro-active. I'm a much bigger fan of the saying

"Be yourself, and assert yourself"
0
reply
Old Skool Freak
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#16
Report 3 weeks ago
#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah, in every possible way. Your looks are down to genetics and some people are unfortunate to be small or have low metabolism or have an unattractive facial structure. Those things can be improved by going to the gym and you will need to work much harder to achieve those 'model' looks compared to a guy who already has naturally supermodel looks.

Also, another thing that I wanted to tell you is that niceness in itself is not attractive to girls. Being polite or a gentleman is a bare minimum that some girls expect from a guy and it doesn't really bring anything to the table. Girls are attracted to money, social status and looks. Your personality only comes last when they decide if you're the person that they could settle down with, but niceness or being a gentleman is not an attractive trait in itself. There are plenty of guys who have criminal records, smoke weed, do drugs and do f**k all with their lives, but they still get laid, because they still have the fundamentals that attract a girl. E.g strong jawline, good six pack, bad boy attitude and being very tall or muscly. I guess you could say that treating girls badly and being a bad boy is seen as more attractive by girls than being a nice gentleman. Most girls love the alpha male types or the chad types. If you're not in this category, it will be very hard for you to get with anyone.
Typical retort from an incel who spends their life on internet forums instead of putting himself out there :rolleyes:

You don't get a muscles or a nice six pack from smoking weed all day and doing f**k all.
2
reply
Anonymous #2
#17
Report 3 weeks ago
#17
(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
Typical retort from an incel who spends their life on internet forums instead of putting himself out there :rolleyes:

You don't get a muscles or a nice six pack from smoking weed all day and doing f**k all.
You're making some big assumptions there. I have put myself out there more than enough and I can tell from my experience alone that girls pursue d***bags more than anyone else. I don't want to put myself out there because I have already seen enough bs in real life.

The point that I was trying to make was that niceness will usually not get you anywhere. Niceness will only give people are reason to treat you like sh!t. Unfortunately, you only understand that when you grow up. It's very hard to find someone who appreciates you as a person. Most people, including your friends are only there with you because of your 'money', 'fame' or 'good looks' or whatever else.
0
reply
Old Skool Freak
Badges: 18
Rep:
? You'll earn badges for being active around the site. Rep gems come when your posts are rated by other community members.
#18
Report 3 weeks ago
#18
(Original post by Anonymous)
You're making some big assumptions there. I have put myself out there more than enough and I can tell from my experience alone that girls pursue d***bags more than anyone else. I don't want to put myself out there because I have already seen enough bs in real life.
That's your prerogative. If you're happy to give up, not to bother anymore and being alone, then fair play to you.

The point that I was trying to make was that niceness will usually not get you anywhere. Niceness will only give people are reason to treat you like sh!t. Unfortunately, you only understand that when you grow up. It's very hard to find someone who appreciates you as a person. Most people, including your friends are only there with you because of your 'money', 'fame' or 'good looks' or whatever else.
I concur that being "nice" on its own is no where near enough, and there has to be more going for you. As for the rest of your comments, I think we'll just agree to disagree, and leave it at that.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#19
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#19
(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
Well that's evidence that "flashing the cash" works, no? It's a formula that works for a lot of people. Maybe it doesn't attract the kind of girls you want, maybe you were unlucky with her, or maybe there were other aspects that led to her treating you badly... either way, I can't comment on that, that's more something for you to think about. On the other hand, if you want to avoid meeting anyone like that in future, then you know not to be so flash in future.

As I said, those were just examples, what other tools have you got in your arsenal? You say you're polite, but are you actually a fun / interesting person to be around? Do you have any hobbies / interests? What's your sense of style like? Can you work on getting exceptionally good at something?



Although sayings such as "be yourself" are often said with the best intentions, I don't think they're particularly useful when said to someone who is already struggling with girls... it kind of implies 'just carry on, and your perfect girl will fall on your lap at some point, promise'. Given there's at least one middle aged male here who admits they've never had any contact with girls at all, it's evident you need to be more pro-active. I'm a much bigger fan of the saying

"Be yourself, and assert yourself"
Yeah I am quite fun and interesting when I work with my work colleagues they find me quite humorous, enjoy my company and I’m their favourite colleague to work with or pair up with. I enjoy cooking exploring and making new food of different cuisines, baking and playing various sports as I play for my local football club as a goalkeeper. I prefer wearing denim wear, a mixed variety of brands in order to choose from a range such as Ralph Lauren or Hugo Boss alongside Nike and Adidas even Lonsdale. At this moment I am working towards obtaining a career in Networking.
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#20
Report Thread starter 3 weeks ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah, in every possible way. Your looks are down to genetics and some people are unfortunate to be small or have low metabolism or have an unattractive facial structure. Those things can be improved by going to the gym and you will need to work much harder to achieve those 'model' looks compared to a guy who already has naturally supermodel looks.

Also, another thing that I wanted to tell you is that niceness in itself is not attractive to girls. Being polite or a gentleman is a bare minimum that some girls expect from a guy and it doesn't really bring anything to the table. Girls are attracted to money, social status and looks. Your personality only comes last when they decide if you're the person that they could settle down with, but niceness or being a gentleman is not an attractive trait in itself. There are plenty of guys who have criminal records, smoke weed, do drugs and do f**k all with their lives, but they still get laid, because they still have the fundamentals that attract a girl. E.g strong jawline, good six pack, bad boy attitude and being very tall or muscly. I guess you could say that treating girls badly and being a bad boy is seen as more attractive by girls than being a nice gentleman. Most girls love the alpha male types or the chad types. If you're not in this category, it will be very hard for you to get with anyone.
Would you say it’s a common theme and it’s modern nowadays that personality heavily overlooked?
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Year 12s - where are you at with making decisions about university?

I’ve chosen my course and my university (19)
32.2%
I’ve chosen my course and shortlisted some universities (22)
37.29%
I’ve chosen my course, but not any universities (2)
3.39%
I’ve chosen my university, but not my course (3)
5.08%
I’ve shortlisted some universities, but not my course (4)
6.78%
I’m starting to consider my university options (7)
11.86%
I haven’t started thinking about university yet (1)
1.69%
I’m not planning on going to university (1)
1.69%

Watched Threads

View All