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Feeling down about uni choice

I feel like crying lowkey. I really want to go to Huddersfield University but my family want me to go to Greenwich uni because I live in London, and it will be cost efficient. I've already applied for student finance for Huddersfield so now that's also long ffs.

If I stay in Huddersfield, my parents are telling me that they can't financially support me much if I can't get a job (I have two younger siblings). I do understand them but Huddersfield University is good, and is my first choice, and I don't really want to remain in London, as living under my mother especially is making me want to cry even more. She always nags and controls me, and I won't be able to go out or go to uni parties because all she'll do is complain that I don't take work seriously or that I'm home late etc. Its like she enjoys making me feel like I'm an unserious child so she's going to enjoy it more if I stay home.

Even though Greenwich is also quite good too, its just that I know a lot of people that go/will go to Greenwich, and I just don't want to see them again smh. I also really want to enjoy the whole excitement of leaving home and meeting new people. I feel like I will be missing out on that and I will feel jealous if my cousins/friends get to experience that when I can't. Plus Greenwich is in London and I don't rlly have much friends so idk if that will change.

I don't really know what to do. Greenwich means less debt/study at home but nagging parents and seeing old friends I don't talk to. Huddersfield is freedom away from home/calmer life but also debt if I can't get a job with not much support from parents. My parents are making me feel dumb if I don't change to Greenwich but I really want to go Huddersfield. Does anyone have any advice?
Go to Huddersfield. You would not be happy staying at home, and you'll find work, you just have to be proactive and consistent about looking (everywhere, takeaways, pubs, resturants, shops, a lot of places are gasping for staff rn.) You clearly want to spread your wings, and so you should.

I think you just want someone to give you permission, and so I'll do that for you. It won't be as easy a path as staying, but you'll be happier I think. You should also recognise: you're an adult. You don't need to ask permission anymore. You can do what you like, you just have to work to make it happen. <3
I would say go to Greenwich as your parents are telling the truth, and I can tell that you know it too. But only you can make that decision. Although this sounds harsh, you're going to have to be ready to face what comes with leaving home if you go to Huddersfield (i.e if you can't get a job/homesickness etc). I had friends that spent more time travelling back home every weekend for food, or worse still, asking housemates if they could have some of their food, because they didn't have money; though most of that was their fault, but I'm trying to paint a picture of how hard it could potentially be.

I'm travelling away from home for uni, only because my parents are willing to support me and I have close family friends nearby where I'll be going, so I can always fall back on them for food or company if I don't make friends or I'm bored. Sorry you feel this way though, I know it must hurt. You never know you might actually like Greenwich, and there must be activities that you can get involved in to meet new ppl, because London is a big city. I can't give you advice on your parent, other than you must be 17-18, so you're grown and your mother can'y baby you or smother you forever. Good luck.
Original post by Anonymous
I feel like crying lowkey. I really want to go to Huddersfield University but my family want me to go to Greenwich uni because I live in London, and it will be cost efficient. I've already applied for student finance for Huddersfield so now that's also long ffs.

If I stay in Huddersfield, my parents are telling me that they can't financially support me much if I can't get a job (I have two younger siblings). I do understand them but Huddersfield University is good, and is my first choice, and I don't really want to remain in London, as living under my mother especially is making me want to cry even more. She always nags and controls me, and I won't be able to go out or go to uni parties because all she'll do is complain that I don't take work seriously or that I'm home late etc. Its like she enjoys making me feel like I'm an unserious child so she's going to enjoy it more if I stay home.

Even though Greenwich is also quite good too, its just that I know a lot of people that go/will go to Greenwich, and I just don't want to see them again smh. I also really want to enjoy the whole excitement of leaving home and meeting new people. I feel like I will be missing out on that and I will feel jealous if my cousins/friends get to experience that when I can't. Plus Greenwich is in London and I don't rlly have much friends so idk if that will change.

I don't really know what to do. Greenwich means less debt/study at home but nagging parents and seeing old friends I don't talk to. Huddersfield is freedom away from home/calmer life but also debt if I can't get a job with not much support from parents. My parents are making me feel dumb if I don't change to Greenwich but I really want to go Huddersfield. Does anyone have any advice?

Hello,

I'm really sorry to hear that you feel like you're in such a difficult position at the moment. As I'm from Huddersfield, I decided to stay at home and go to uni here. Huddersfield is a great uni, it was a great choice for me, and there were also perks of staying at home so I can really understand some aspects of your situation.

Have you been to any of the open days or applicant visit days at the uni? If you haven't, I strongly suggest you try to book on to one, and attend it with your parent's if they're open to it - Open Day. It'll give you a better feel for both the uni and the town, and it might give your parents a little more perspective (A little tip - travelling from Kings Cross to Brighouse station is generally cheaper as it's a direct train).

In term's of jobs, there are job opportunities both within the university and outside of the university so I don't believe finding work will be particularly difficult. There's pro's and con's to both decision's, but gathering as much information as possible about both universities and getting a feel for both uni's might help you make your decision, and it might help you discuss things again with your parents.

All the best!
- Rebecca, 3rd Year Psychology Student
Go to Huddersfield. The cost of living will be much lower there - not living at home will not be such an issue.
Definitely agree with Rebecca giving in to your parents wishes will only make you unhappier in the future. I personally think that you staying at Greenwich as identified in your post will make you unhappy be in mind you still haven’t revived your student finance. I do Sedona recommend visiting the uni maybe go during summer and firm Huddersfield and insurance Greenwich because Greenwich is always in clearing. Make sure you are choosing what’s right for you now it may be going to far to say you would end up resenting your parents but you may feel that you wouldn’t be able to have the traditional uni life. Which if working you may have to give up some experiences but realise there are well paying jobs in uni such as being your guides during open days working in libraries and cafes. This is to an extent the starting point of your future so make sure you are happy with it.
As above, Huddersfield will be considerably cheaper than London anyway, and you'll end up with more maintenance loan living away from your parents outside of London, than living with them in London, in most cases. Also bear in mind maintenance loans are means tested and so provided your parents complete the required details they are sent, you may be eligible for more than the minimum maintenance loan. The uni may also have some bursaries or grants available to help make ends meet. That said, it's quite common for students to get a part-time job while at uni - and you definitely will want to be looking for (ideally paid) summer internships, vacation schemes etc, to develop the work experience you need to make your degree basically worth more than the paper it's printed on!

Also if you aren't eligible for the higher maintenance loan amounts, it will be because your parents combined income is higher than the threshold(s) - in which case the government essentially assumes they will pay the difference between the minimum and maximum maintenance loan and have calculated they expect a household earning that much will be able to do so. So you might need to explain to them you aren't expected to live off the minimum maintenance loan with no help, and just that "poorer" students get more out of pity or something - it's that they expect all students to be funded the same amount while at uni, but for those whose parents earn more they expect the parents to make up the difference.
Remember, you are in full control of your future, you come first. Huddersfield's a nice place, I've lived here all my life, you might come across a crackhead on occasion if you live outdoors 24/7.
It is an incredibly difficult situation to be in. I would say follow your heart to Huddersfield. You have to do what is best for you, no-one else. I always hear horror stories of people failing because they were doing something they didn't want to do, or studying somewhere they didn't want to be.
You'll make great friendships and eventually your parents will understand.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
I feel like crying lowkey. I really want to go to Huddersfield University but my family want me to go to Greenwich uni because I live in London, and it will be cost efficient. I've already applied for student finance for Huddersfield so now that's also long ffs.

If I stay in Huddersfield, my parents are telling me that they can't financially support me much if I can't get a job (I have two younger siblings). I do understand them but Huddersfield University is good, and is my first choice, and I don't really want to remain in London, as living under my mother especially is making me want to cry even more. She always nags and controls me, and I won't be able to go out or go to uni parties because all she'll do is complain that I don't take work seriously or that I'm home late etc. Its like she enjoys making me feel like I'm an unserious child so she's going to enjoy it more if I stay home.

Even though Greenwich is also quite good too, its just that I know a lot of people that go/will go to Greenwich, and I just don't want to see them again smh. I also really want to enjoy the whole excitement of leaving home and meeting new people. I feel like I will be missing out on that and I will feel jealous if my cousins/friends get to experience that when I can't. Plus Greenwich is in London and I don't rlly have much friends so idk if that will change.

I don't really know what to do. Greenwich means less debt/study at home but nagging parents and seeing old friends I don't talk to. Huddersfield is freedom away from home/calmer life but also debt if I can't get a job with not much support from parents. My parents are making me feel dumb if I don't change to Greenwich but I really want to go Huddersfield. Does anyone have any advice?

London is a lot more expensive to live in anyway tbh, although i know that you’d be staying with your parents - but you can find cheap halls. You’re an adult now, it should be ultimately your decision what you do.

You should be able to find a job - there’s a real shortage in hospitality atm (in London anyway). You can always have a look online to see if there’s a lot of vacancies.


On the other hand if you do go to Greenwich you’ll definitely be able to find new people to make friends with, and you won’t have to see your old friends. Whatever happens, I’m sure you will be happy. Uni is only 3 years anyway
(edited 1 year ago)
Well I pretty have no choice as my parents subtly forced me into calling/emailing Greenwich University. When I opposed, its "if you go Huddersfield deal with the debts". They're telling me that their not forcing me to go Greenwich but they are. I hate when parents do this gaslighting manipulation. FFs. I pretty much was moody when writing the email and they're acting like its for my own good. I understand this but if I don't enjoy the university for whatever reasons, they're going to be the same ones, especially my mother, putting down my feelings and telling me I have to stick it out. She's always been against me leaving home anyways (she claims its better to stay local; true to some extent, but she really just wants to control me), so it's no surprise, and she's definitely going to enjoy controlling my every move when/if I do go Greenwich, so I guess I can rule out fresher's events or parties (basically social life). I'm going to really resent them if my younger sibling (who's 16) is able to leave home for university, because I've been forced to drop my desired choice to stay home.
Hey,

You sound like you would be happier in Huddersfield in all honesty. Financial stress is not nice so I do understand why you are stressed. Have you already applied for student finance? Do you know how much you are entitled to? If you do, look at the costs of living (accommodation, food etc.) in Huddersfield to see if you will be okay. And look at scholarships/bursaries etc. that Huddersfield offer! Student jobs are also very common so hopefully, if you need to, you will be able to get one. I recommend that you look at all of these things before making your decision but hopefully, everything will work out for you to go to Huddersfield.

I hope this helps,
Sara :smile:
Coventry University Student Rep

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