don't like to come on here whining but i'm gonna employ the old problem shared is a problem halved philosophy.
basically....in my 2nd year of uni now...really liked this girl i lived with in halls last year. We got "sort of" together, never really though, but then after the easter break she was acting different and then it was kinda on-off. Things got a bit serious n stressed so we kinda called it a day, despite me still really liking her and her liking me somewhat.
Then i drunkenly pulled a friend of hers! She got really angry and upset, understandably - even though we;'d never actually been going out though.
We then smoothed things over and became good friends again.
Then just before summer she gave me the impression things might happen between us after the summer break.
Well we're living toghether this year in a big house with 4 other friends and things aren't happening and won't happen - we had a chat about stuff.
I was pretty devastated but had to move on.
Didn't wanna lower my self-value by helplessly chasing a girl not into me, despite how much I liked her.
Now I'm getting quite friendly with a girl who happens to be one of her friends and she seems really jealous and was even like "out of all the girls - why'd u have to go for my friend again" even though nothings happened and its a different situation to the one with her mate before.
I do like her friend - we actually get on n its not just a rebound for me.
Thing i wanna ask advice on is what to do. Leave things alone with her friend for the sake of their (and our) friendships? Or live my own life?
It feels like she didn't want me but she doesn't want anyone else to have me either. Especially not one of her mates.
Sorry for the ridiculously long post!! Any ideas on what I should do would be great though.
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- Thread Starter
- 09-11-2008 13:32
- Thread Starter
- 09-11-2008 13:43
me and a friend (girl) got close last year and sort of started "seeing each other" at uni, not going out or anything heavy though.
last year though she sort of went cold on the idea and things stopped.
we live together this year and are good friends.
i've become close to a friend of hers who I really get on with but my housemate friend seems really jealous and even "joked" with me saying "of all the girls why did you have to try to get with my friend...couldnt you just pull a randomer". She acts generally jealous on nights out when i even speak to other girls as well.
It's like she doesn't fully want me herself but doesnt want anyone else (especially her friend) to get close to me.
Her friend is apparantly worried that their friendship might suffer because of me...which is another thing I really dont want to happen.
I can't help the fact me and her friend get on well though.
So what do I do?
- 09-11-2008 14:46
I can sort of see how it might be difficult to see you getting on so well with one of her friends, but if she went cold on you in the first place then its her problem, she should just learn to be more mature over matters like these. She doesn't own you. Just have a quiet word with her and ask her why she's been acting like she has been. I would say she has feelings for you still.
- 09-11-2008 15:16
She just wants to know that you like her, and only her.
Get over her and quick. She's immature and that's why she is keeping you dangling on a piece of string.
Get with her friend!
- 09-11-2008 18:32
You've said it yourself- she doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you, but that is not her decision to make, its yours.
Yes I understand you're friends and you don't want to hurt her, but if she was really ready to be a friend she'd accept what's happening between you and her friend.
If it really isn't just a rebound thing, talk to her and explain you like this girl, that she's made it clear that nothing is going to happen between you, so whilst it's upto you who you date etc you'd like her to be happy for you.
If she doesn't respond maturely; that is her problem not yours!