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we both love each other but we can't be together

i really really like this guy. he's so sweet to me and cares about me so much and he's been on my mind 24/7 for the past few weeks. this girl - that he is friends with who is also my friend - said that he also has feelings for me and it is really obvious that he does.
however, he told her that my parents are the reason for him not asking me out. i told him many years back that my parents are quite strict when it comes to boys and dating, which is true. they are being reasonable though as they think i should complete my education first and then look for men as you only get the opportunity of education once - which i fully agree with.
i'm doing GCSEs so in a few weeks time, i will have finished school. i also focus on my grades a lot too and i did spend a few weeks not talking to him for that reason.

i know i have such a strong connection with him, and i feel as though that we are meant to be; however, my parents is the thing that is preventing us from moving further.
he said that it "wouldn't work out" which i agree with because of my parents. if it weren't for them, then i think we would get along so well.
obviously because i wouldn't let him come over to my house and i wouldn't be able to go to his.
my parents know of him, but don't know how close we are. our relationship currently could literally be classed as 'on the verge of we are dating' but not publically known.
he said that he'll "see" about asking me this summer. but if he were to, then i have no idea what i would say.
perhaps date him during the summer and then break up when A-levels begin? that seems extremely selfish.
but i really really like this guy and i have no idea what to do
You only get the opportunity of education once? Sorry, but what does that even mean?
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Original post by Leslie Knope
You only get the opportunity of education once? Sorry, but what does that even mean?


i think what my parents mean is that you only have GCSEs once and only have A-Levels once.
like i am better off to get a good degree and a good job and then AFTER that, find a man.
Original post by Anonymous
i really really like this guy. he's so sweet to me and cares about me so much and he's been on my mind 24/7 for the past few weeks. this girl - that he is friends with who is also my friend - said that he also has feelings for me and it is really obvious that he does.
however, he told her that my parents are the reason for him not asking me out. i told him many years back that my parents are quite strict when it comes to boys and dating, which is true. they are being reasonable though as they think i should complete my education first and then look for men as you only get the opportunity of education once - which i fully agree with.
i'm doing GCSEs so in a few weeks time, i will have finished school. i also focus on my grades a lot too and i did spend a few weeks not talking to him for that reason.

i know i have such a strong connection with him, and i feel as though that we are meant to be; however, my parents is the thing that is preventing us from moving further.
he said that it "wouldn't work out" which i agree with because of my parents. if it weren't for them, then i think we would get along so well.
obviously because i wouldn't let him come over to my house and i wouldn't be able to go to his.
my parents know of him, but don't know how close we are. our relationship currently could literally be classed as 'on the verge of we are dating' but not publically known.
he said that he'll "see" about asking me this summer. but if he were to, then i have no idea what i would say.
perhaps date him during the summer and then break up when A-levels begin? that seems extremely selfish.
but i really really like this guy and i have no idea what to do


Original post by Leslie Knope
You only get the opportunity of education once? Sorry, but what does that even mean?


Its a logical statement tbh, doing ur GCSES/A-Levels is essentially a one time thing and you should not jeopardise that. Pretty sure all parents say this stuff.
Original post by Anonymous
i think what my parents mean is that you only have GCSEs once and only have A-Levels once.
like i am better off to get a good degree and a good job and then AFTER that, find a man.


Let's ignore everything for a moment and just focus on the fact that it's your parents who are suggesting that because you are in full-time education other parts of your life need to be put on a hold. Is that how you feel? Would you say that you can't focus on your friendships because of exams too?

Also, I am not suggesting that you do follow or not follow your parents' advice because I have no idea about your relationship with your parents and home life. I am just letting you know that education is important, yes, but it shouldn't take over your entire life. This kind of thinking is really unhelpful.
Oh and good luck with the exams!!
Original post by Serene Dreams
Let's ignore everything for a moment and just focus on the fact that it's your parents who are suggesting that because you are in full-time education other parts of your life need to be put on a hold. Is that how you feel? Would you say that you can't focus on your friendships because of exams too?

Also, I am not suggesting that you do follow or not follow your parents' advice because I have no idea about your relationship with your parents and home life. I am just letting you know that education is important, yes, but it shouldn't take over your entire life. This kind of thinking is really unhelpful.


i really do agree with you. but they have high hopes for me and so education at this point pretty much is my life.
do you think having a short term relationship during the summer (as i have 2 months off) would be worth it??
Original post by Anonymous
i really really like this guy. he's so sweet to me and cares about me so much and he's been on my mind 24/7 for the past few weeks. this girl - that he is friends with who is also my friend - said that he also has feelings for me and it is really obvious that he does.
however, he told her that my parents are the reason for him not asking me out. i told him many years back that my parents are quite strict when it comes to boys and dating, which is true. they are being reasonable though as they think i should complete my education first and then look for men as you only get the opportunity of education once - which i fully agree with.
i'm doing GCSEs so in a few weeks time, i will have finished school. i also focus on my grades a lot too and i did spend a few weeks not talking to him for that reason.

i know i have such a strong connection with him, and i feel as though that we are meant to be; however, my parents is the thing that is preventing us from moving further.
he said that it "wouldn't work out" which i agree with because of my parents. if it weren't for them, then i think we would get along so well.
obviously because i wouldn't let him come over to my house and i wouldn't be able to go to his.
my parents know of him, but don't know how close we are. our relationship currently could literally be classed as 'on the verge of we are dating' but not publically known.
he said that he'll "see" about asking me this summer. but if he were to, then i have no idea what i would say.
perhaps date him during the summer and then break up when A-levels begin? that seems extremely selfish.
but i really really like this guy and i have no idea what to do

Reading this sounds so familiar, you seem like a sweetheart and I feel for you. Currently in sixth form and was with a guy for 3 years (we went to the same high school and started speaking in Y10 I thinkkk) and thought it was meant to be forever too. Anyways back to you <3
I think you should discuss it with him first and foremost as communication is key and let him know that obviously your parents want the best for you ofc and it shouldn't be a big issue I understand that things would flow much smoother if your parents were more okay or relaxed with it, but please don’t worry babe I’m telling uu life does not always work out in our favour and that’s okay!! You guys should pursue each other regardless, overcoming the tough times is what strengthens a relationship. I say definitely reassure him that it's not as deep as it seems and that you should take things slowly, certain things will take time e.g the going to each others houses. You can meet in public places/ private places outdoors, if you get what I mean and still have a lovely time trust mee speaking from experience (none of our parents knew about us btw LOOOL was on some real sneaky ****)
Don’t overthink breaking up with him, you’re supposed to enjoy your Y11 summer as it’s the longest you’ll have till Y13. Please enjoy your time w him my love (seeing him more often is something I defo wish I did at the time so pls try that bc it’ll make the quality of ur relationship far more better)
On the other hand always protect your heart though. Keep an emotional distance mentally if ur unsure about where things might take you, men are so unpredictable. Also don’t rely on him ‘seeing’ there’s no room for doubt here cmonnn if you guys have good chemistry and a strong connection whys he holding back for? If he’s as mature as he seems he will see through with it. Don’t ever settle for less queen you deserve a man that will go miles to make things happen with you. He seems nice but he has to pull through for you asap !!
Feel free to ask me for more advice bae, I’m here if you need helppp <333
Original post by Anonymous
i really do agree with you. but they have high hopes for me and so education at this point pretty much is my life.
do you think having a short term relationship during the summer (as i have 2 months off) would be worth it??

Yes and no depending on the type of person you are, if you’re the type to get attached and really emotionally invested then don’t do it. I’m not saying you should hide it from your parents but I feel like it could definitely work until ur ready to properly tell them about it. Make education ur priority and show them you’re capable of getting good grades and maintaining a great social life. A Levels are so much harder than GCSES and you’re really gonna need to put the work in. Imo a short term relationship isn’t always the answer since I’m the type to get attached but whatever you’re comfortable w and works for you babe, wishing you the best and hope you pass ur exams with flying colours!!
Original post by Anonymous
i think what my parents mean is that you only have GCSEs once and only have A-Levels once.
like i am better off to get a good degree and a good job and then AFTER that, find a man.


Many people manage to do well at A levels and have boy/girlfriends. I have lots of friends who met at uni and are together [and got good degrees].
You can start dating when gcse's are over and meetup at college or the shopping centre.
Very discretely and without disrupting your education or taking the types of risks that are most likely to end up leading to your parents catching on.

I do understand some of how you feel. :smile:
I started dating at 16 without letting my parents and their vile group of pals know if I had a date or bf.
Got very sneaky and became an expert at sneaking out of windows & climbing drainpipes at night or after 1am.
Good luck!
Original post by Anonymous
i really really like this guy. he's so sweet to me and cares about me so much and he's been on my mind 24/7 for the past few weeks. this girl - that he is friends with who is also my friend - said that he also has feelings for me and it is really obvious that he does.
however, he told her that my parents are the reason for him not asking me out. i told him many years back that my parents are quite strict when it comes to boys and dating, which is true. they are being reasonable though as they think i should complete my education first and then look for men as you only get the opportunity of education once - which i fully agree with.
i'm doing GCSEs so in a few weeks time, i will have finished school. i also focus on my grades a lot too and i did spend a few weeks not talking to him for that reason.

i know i have such a strong connection with him, and i feel as though that we are meant to be; however, my parents is the thing that is preventing us from moving further.
he said that it "wouldn't work out" which i agree with because of my parents. if it weren't for them, then i think we would get along so well.
obviously because i wouldn't let him come over to my house and i wouldn't be able to go to his.
my parents know of him, but don't know how close we are. our relationship currently could literally be classed as 'on the verge of we are dating' but not publically known.
he said that he'll "see" about asking me this summer. but if he were to, then i have no idea what i would say.
perhaps date him during the summer and then break up when A-levels begin? that seems extremely selfish.
but i really really like this guy and i have no idea what to do


Finish your GCSEs then decide what to do. They've got to be your priority right now rather than relationships.
Original post by Anonymous
i really do agree with you. but they have high hopes for me and so education at this point pretty much is my life.
do you think having a short term relationship during the summer (as i have 2 months off) would be worth it??

You are in the middle of your exams at the moment, right? Focus on them and then during the holidays, you can think about what you want to do without all this pressure.

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