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Need Some Serious Help, Please Read, Please!! watch

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    Ok, so this is an incredibly long story. I've posted here for help before at to what to do, here are those threads. If you've got a bit of time to read at least what i'm doing in this post i really appreciate this, as what i'm doing here is very big and important for me, because I have no idea what my Parents are going to say, and there is a small chance that they may chuck me out for it. So yeah this isn't the usual trivial problems that this forum sees usually.

    Here are the threads if anyone wants to read them, or the first post from me at least:

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=606988

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...php?p=13758561

    Basically if you're not going to read those threads I'm being forced to an extremist Christian Church and my Parents are forcing me along. I've tried to get out a few times, but huge arguments have happened. I haven't tried it for a couple of months now and have only brought it up myself like once and so i've decided to do a letter now I'm confident about my beliefs. I've attached it in the spoiler below and i just want some opinions of it. Is it rubbish or what? If it is rubbish or needs improvements can anyone either re write some of it or something or just advise what i need to change or add even if i've forgotten something.

    Because I'm trying to give them a letter to describe my opinions and basically my resignation from such activities for definite. In the couple of threads i'd made in the past (as posted just above) i did suggest that they might chuck me out over it. But about a month back because over a few arguments and bad feeling from me they called me in for a chat and they said "we love you" and stuff like that which goes to show that chucking me out was something to scare me off bringing up the topic again and for asking for rent i have hardly any money and no job still so wouldn't be able to pay it. Anyway here is the letter, what do you people think? Thanks you so so much for reading.

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Firstly to say I’m going to go for a bit of a walk while you read this letter and mull it all over. Please read the entire letter and not just stop at a certain point.

    Right, Mum, Dad, I’m disappointed and sad that I have to do create a letter like this but feel this is the best way to get my point across. I love you all very much and I really do respect your religious views and rituals but I'm getting agitated over the fact that I'm being forced to do something that I don't believe in. I would have liked to go to the Church whole heartedly but unfortunately, my beliefs differ to yours and I do not feel like I fit in there anymore. This has been affecting me a great deal and I am mature enough to take a decision as to whether I would like to go somewhere or not. I know you will be disappointed and angry at what I am saying but I am pleading with you to just listen to me and not make a grave error, which is what you are currently doing by forcing me to take part in these Christian activities. I never want to become bitter towards you in the future, I want us to get on together well. This will never happen if you continued forcing me to go to church. This, even now is just not happening because you are making me sad by forcing me to take part in your beliefs. I understand that you think that you “know” that Christianity is the only true religion, but let me ask you this. What do the many people in other religions believe about their beliefs? They could also put their life on the line that their religion is the absolute only true one out there. But I know that the religion makes you very happy because you believe 100% that it is true and that you wholeheartedly believe it all. I really do respect this fact. But there’s only one thing I can’t respect. And that’s the arrogance of your ways. The way you make it out only a select few Christians are the only ones who will make it to Heaven and most (like the Charismatics) are mistaken, and also the other faiths just lead to Hell, even for those people who follow their faith and are very good people. So you have put yourself in the 0.1%. Don’t you ever think that 99.9% of people in this world are not idiots who believe in things which you believe to be complete rubbish but people who have researched this themselves (Obviously the majority won’t have and can’t be bothered to but A LOT will have researched this and found their opinion on this matter). I understand that you are trying to care for me as much as you can by keeping me coming to Church because you have a certain belief that I will got to Hell if I stop coming and not become a Christian. I understand that but you don’t seem to understand that it isn’t you who should have the final say. It’s the person involved who should have the final say. I appreciate your loving care of me in this retrospect however and I know you do care for me and love me.

    I would also like to say that my belief of the Christian faith has totally diminished, whereas in the past 1 or 2 years and before hand i believed your word for it. But now I’m growing up and have research other opinions and as a result i have an opinion now. And in life everyone’s opinion differs. No one’s opinions will ever be the same. And I hope you will be able to appreciate that. You will ask me why i doubt the existence of a God because you believe he made a beautiful and faultless creation. I can see the beauty aspect of it but I don’t understand why a God would create the obvious faults as are in Creation. These are many, changing from Mentally Handicapped people to the many natural disasters and also to the disgusting things that happened in the past like the Holocaust. I’m sorry but if I think if God allowed these things to happen, then he is far from good. I don’t care what people say here, my mind is made up in these regards. All i want to do is just be able to show that I have made up my mind and that i have an opinion now, but not one like yourself. I respect everyone who thinks for themselves, that is not what you have done to me.

    I have been told since i was young enough to listen that there is one God, one religion only, and failure to become a Christian will result in eternal Hell fire. You might say the world (or the Devil) has changed me but the opinions (stated as fact of course) being taught to me ever since i was a little child has always been ‘scaremongering’ tactics. I have heard much more from the Christianity front, than any of the other views out there. But yet I have taken on other beliefs. I see many people around who say the most ridiculous arguments on why there might not be a God. Most people just haven’t researched it but i believed it was important to do because the ignorance of many Christians (and of people in other religions) is astounding. They have no idea what other religions are about and also about Evolution they think it’s ridiculous when ironically it’s the most intelligent people who end up with this belief a lot of the time. I’m not sure whether there is a God or not. Sometimes I think there must be, sometimes not when i see the terrible things happening for one example. But it does cross my mind sometimes that there might be a God or an over ruling species that are out there and have just not revealed themselves to us and endless things could crop up on what happened as a result of this. Anyway If I believed in God for definite and your version of Christianity than i would continue to respect your views and continue along coming to Church and take part in things related. But the fact is i don’t, so i cannot continue taking part in coming to Church or taking part in any thing related to Christianity in the house. I will respect your views, and i hope you will respect my views.

    I see life as a journey where people look for different things. You want assurance after death, but i just want to lead a happy fulfilling life where i can enjoy it and at the same time hope to lead a good career which leads from my hard work from beforehand to get there. I don’t believe in a Hell, and I’m not sure i believe in any after life at all. But i would like to think that there was something good after death. If not, I guess it won’t matter, as I will have no thoughts after death if nothing happens! I would like to say I am not writing this letter for myself trying to show that Christianity is a fake religion. No way. I am just stating my opinion, and I respect the fact that you have clocked onto a path where you have a hope after death of there being a Heaven where you live on eternally with no sin involved. Your love for me by trying to keep me coming to Church (so in your opinion stops me from going to Hell if i become a Christian as a result) is overwhelming as it shows you love me, which is something that many Children lack from their parents out there. I really do appreciate that and I want to get on well with you. I see too many arguments at the moment (much of which are my fault i admit due to too much teasing) and i want to stop that. I want us all to get on with each other really well and to act like a real family as a result. So as a result I want to say that I will do my utter most to stop with these arguments that i am creating, because I want us to get on well in these last 2 years before I go to University. I do love you, i really do, you’re my parents. You might not be able to understand this at the moment in the way i’m writing this, but i do want to let you know that.


    This isn't the usual trivial problem as i've said so please take all this seriously and any help is very so much appreciated Thanks so much again!
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    if you're at an age where you can leave home, just do it. go stay at a friends for a bit....
    go to university

    get away from this utter ********
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    I'm 16, 2 years off Uni. I couldn't do that, because i don't have close enough friends for that And another thing i do love my Parents despite what they are doing and moving out would completely destroy my future ambitions and also destroy the family because it's a close family who get on well, if this happened there would be uproar. I'm trying to compromise.
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    Good Luck! and i agree with the top post, it sounds as though you are really upset and angry at being forced into religion. You sound like you need time away from your family for a while, why not stay at a friends house for a while? and consider moving to university halls next year? Your parents say they love you, so the will be upset at first, but will come to undertand i'm sure. Good luck again
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    You're parents are being irrational. Forcing you to be a Christian won't make you a Christian, and in fact it's probably a sin in itself. To be honest, you've explained it as honestly and maturely as you can and if they don't accept that then you have little hope.
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    just cope with it 'pretend' to believe and then when you are proper independent like got your own flat and stuff - announce that you don't believe. Thats what my friend is doing - his parents are strict christians - and he wants to become a muslim.
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    Thanks for the replies. Tbh i just want feedback on the letter though as i'm hoping to give it tonight It's vital i get this as right as possible
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    Anyone???
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    i read the letter thoroughly, go for it and good luck. However i do advice if you can, do what my friend is doing as he is in a similar position as i said in my previous post. if you can just cope with it for a few more years (i mean whats the harm?) then when you move to uni BAM! tell them them like over the phone or in a letter or something that you had enough, they won't be able to do anything, heres lots of support in uni i'm sure ppl will help out. Good luck
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    (Original post by Prokaryotic_crap)
    i read the letter thoroughly, go for it and good luck. However i do advice if you can, do what my friend is doing as he is in a similar position as i said in my previous post. if you can just cope with it for a few more years (i mean whats the harm?) then when you move to uni BAM! tell them them like over the phone or in a letter or something that you had enough, they won't be able to do anything, heres lots of support in uni i'm sure ppl will help out. Good luck
    Thanks man, i can't wait 2 more years now, i seriously can't lol! Umm, not going to do it tonight now because it's blowing a gale and pouring down so not the ideal time to go for that walk whilst they read it. Will do it sometime between Monday and next Sunday now. Any more feedback though?? Really would appreciate it.
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    Doing it tonight. I've decided that if they reject my opinion and say something like 'You will live under our rules in this house' then i will say i will live with Grandparents (temporarily) until they come around the the fact. Problem is my nearest Grandparents are a 40 minute train journey. That's pretty long and i can't really afford to miss college so i would have to make daily returns from Cardiff until they accept me again. If they don't well at least i would find out then that they don't love me at all in the end of the day and there was no point staying with them If they accept my opinions (or at least temporarily let me stay with my Grandparents, then i will respect that. I don't mind staying for up to a week or 2. Only £5 return a day for the train :rolleyes: lol! Anyway what do you guys think of this stance and also everything else said?
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    Goddd, i'm doing this in about half an hour (when guest leaves). I'm crapping myself as i have no idea what they will say but there isn't any point in putting this off for any longer is there. Well it seems i'm talking to myself here because most users on here seem to prefer threads which involve the word 'sex' rather to really serious situations but hey i'm letting it off :rolleyes: I just hope they can accept it, i'm going to give them half an hour to think about it and i just hope that when i get back they will accept my opinions. Any more opinions on the letter??? (really appreciated i say again)
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    good luck
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    Thanks man, really do appreciate just those two words like! Anyway amended the letter a bit. Mostly just adding a final bit at the end of the paragraph. What do you people think about it?

    Spoiler:
    Show
    Firstly to say I’m going to go for a bit of a walk while you read this letter and mull it all over. Please read the entire letter and not just stop at a certain point.

    Right, Mum, Dad, I’m disappointed and sad that I have to do create a letter like this but feel this is the best way to get my point across. I love you both very much and I really do respect your religious views and rituals but I'm getting agitated over the fact that I'm being forced to do something that I don't believe in. I would have liked to go to the Church whole heartedly but unfortunately, my beliefs differ to yours and I do not feel like I fit in there anymore. This has been affecting me a great deal and I am mature enough to take a decision as to whether I would like to go somewhere or not. I know you will be disappointed and angry at what I am saying but I am pleading with you to just listen to me and not make a grave error, which is what you are currently doing by forcing me to take part in these Christian activities. I never want to become bitter towards you in the future, I want us to get on together well. This will never happen if you continued forcing me to go to church. This, even now is just not happening because you are making me sad by forcing me to take part in your beliefs. Ironically i believe that there is a bigger chance of me turning to Christianity again if you accepted my choice in this letter, rather than forcing me to go week after week and doing other Christian related things, however i expect you might think that i might just be saying that just to get out of this situation.

    I understand that you think that you “know” that Christianity is the only true religion, but let me ask you this. What do the many people in other religions believe about their beliefs? They could also put their life on the line that their religion is the absolute only true one out there. But I know that the religion makes you very happy because you believe 100% that it is true and that you wholeheartedly believe it all. I really do respect this fact. But there’s only one thing I can’t respect. And that’s the arrogance of your ways. The way you make it out only a select few Christians are the only ones who will make it to Heaven and most (like in the Charismatic part etc.) are mistaken, and also the other faiths just lead to Hell, even for those people who follow their faith and are very good people with very good morals. So you have put yourself in the 0.1%. Don’t you ever think that 99.9% of people in this world are not idiots who believe in things which you believe to be complete rubbish but people who have researched this themselves (Obviously the majority of people won’t have researched other opinions and other faiths and can’t be bothered to but A LOT will have researched this and found where their heart lies on this matter). I understand that you are trying to care for me as much as you can by keeping me coming to Church because you have a certain belief that I will got to Hell if I stop coming and not become a Christian. I understand that but you don’t seem to understand that it isn’t you who should have the final say. It’s the person involved who should have the final say. I appreciate your loving care of me in this retrospect however and I know you do care for me and love me. I do appreciate that, but in the end of the day it’s not you inside me who is making this choice.
    I would also like to say that my belief of the Christian faith has totally diminished, whereas in the past 1 or 2 years and before hand i believed your word for it. But now I’m growing up and have research other opinions and as a result i have an opinion now. And in life everyone’s opinion differs. No one’s opinions will ever be the same. And I hope you will be able to appreciate that. You will ask me why i doubt the existence of a God because you believe he made a beautiful and “faultless” creation. I can see the beauty aspect of it but I don’t understand why a God would create the obvious faults as are in Creation. These are many, differing from Mentally Handicapped people, to the many natural disasters and also to the disgusting things that happened in the past like the Holocaust. I’m sorry but if I think if God allowed these things to happen, then he is far from good. I don’t care what people say on this matter, my mind is made up in these regards. All i want to do is just be able to show that I have made up my mind and that i have an opinion now, but not one like yourself. I respect everyone who thinks for themselves, that is not what you have done to me as you are effectively brain washing me to put it harshly.

    I have been told since i was young enough to listen that there is one God, one religion only, and failure to become a Christian will result in eternal Hell fire. You might say the world (or the Devil) has changed me but the opinions (stated as fact of course) being taught to me ever since i was a little child has always been ‘scaremongering’ tactics i believe. I have heard much more from the Christianity front in my life, than any of the other views out there. But yet I have taken on other beliefs. I see many people around who say the most ridiculous arguments on why there might not be a God. Most people just haven’t researched it but i believed it was important to do because the ignorance of many Christians (and of people in other religions) is astounding. Some (And i’m not saying all here) have no idea what other religions are about and also about Evolution they think it’s ridiculous when ironically it’s the most intelligent people who end up with this belief a lot of the time!

    I’m not sure whether there is a God or not. Sometimes I think there must be, sometimes not when i see the terrible things happening for one example. But it does cross my mind sometimes that there might be a God or an over ruling species that are out there and have just not revealed themselves to us and endless things could crop up on what happened as a result of this. Anyway If I believed in God for definite and your version of Christianity than i would continue to respect your views and continue along coming to Church and take part in things related. But the fact is i don’t, so i cannot continue taking part in coming to Church or taking part in any thing related to Christianity in the house. I will respect your views, and i hope you will respect my views. I really do hope this, because as you can surely see going to Church and participating in Christian related things in the house and other places does absolutely nothing for me and is causing endless rows because I’m just getting annoyed too easily.

    I see life as a journey where people look for different things. You want assurance after death, but i just want to lead a happy fulfilling life where i can enjoy it and at the same time hope to lead a good career which leads from my hard work from beforehand to get there. I don’t believe in a Hell, and I’m not sure i believe in any after life at all. But i would like to think that there was something good after death like an after life of some sort. In one way i hope there’s something good for you as parents because you believe Christianity so so much! If there is nothing, I guess it won’t matter, as I will have no thoughts after death if nothing happens!

    I would like to say I am not writing this letter for myself trying to show that Christianity is a fake religion. No way. I am just stating my opinion, and I respect the fact that you have clocked onto a path where you have a hope after death of there being a Heaven where you live on eternally with no sin involved. That’s great because it makes you happy, more happy than most people in life today who endure some bad things in life and have nothing to turn to when such things happen. I have no qualms with Christian life and if i believed it all i wouldn’t mind being a Christian at all because i see what a good time Christian students can have as i shown by Jon and Katie in University!

    Your love for me by trying to keep me coming to Church (so in your opinion stops me from going to Hell if i become a Christian as a result) is overwhelming as it shows you love me, which is something that many Children lack from their parents out there. I really do appreciate that and I want to get on well with you. I see too many arguments at the moment (much of which are my fault i admit due to too much teasing) and i want to stop that. I want us all to get on with each other really well and to act like a real family as a result. I really do want us to get on well in these last 2 years before I go to University. I do love you, i really do, you’re my parents. You might not be able to understand this at the moment in the way i’m writing this, but i do want to let you know that. I can only imagine what you are going to say when i return, because i know what you have said in the past by me asking to stop participating etc. I just hope this time i have been able to off load all my views whilst last time i said it without a letter and just as myself. I tell you now i am scared writing this letter because i have no idea what you are capable of doing or saying to me after what happened in our last chat about these things. I just want you to know when i last had a chat with you about this a couple of months back, i was incredibly scared, and my many tears were not fake (I’m a rubbish actor) and blimey if you are going to try this stance on me again well i had better get packing my bags. I didn’t want to say this last bit at all and this crossing my mind i hate, but i have to say this because i don’t want you to say the wrong things, and well if you do scream and shout at me again well it kind of shows that i was wrong about you loving me. You did mention throwing me out if i don’t abide by your views and rules, well this is a reason for me saying this last bit here. I don’t know if you were trying to scare me to abide with your own rules, or whether you were being serious. I want you to know if you ever considered doing this... well i don’t want to think about that actually!
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    Woah... what's happened to the annoymous function?
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    electric_dreams is that you?
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    Doing it tomorrow now... What's the difference between this evening and tomorrow morning other than if i got chucked out now i would be out at night! No electric_dream isn't me if that's what you're saying man. It's all printed and ready to be given now tho
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    do it tomorrow i reccommend, good luck anyway.
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    But if you put it off untill tomorrow you might end up putting it off again then...and if you don't do it now will you have to go to church with them tomorrow?
    good luck anyway!
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    First of all i want to say how much I admire you for doing this !!:yep: wow, i almost idolize you (am I beginning to scare you lol?) I'm pretty much in the same situation as you but do not have the guts to do what you're about to do. I've thought about it many times but I just cannot do it.

    Secondly, I appreciate you've researched religions and god but I don't agree with something you said. You said that you can't believe there's a god that would allow all the tragedy in this world. I think 'god' (if he exists) created and is just an observer. He didn't create any 'bad' things. All tragedy is caused by mankind even what people would regard as natural disasters. I think these came about because people somehow ****** up.

    Feel free to send me an email or something if you want to talk, because I know exactly what you're going through

    GOOD LUCK
 
 
 
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