The Student Room Group

Catty Female

so i'm in 3rd year, and i've been living with the same group of girls for the 2nd year and this year. in a 6 bed flat. 4 of them are really lovely, but there's one who is an absolute bitch. from the first day i met her, she's been
incredibly rude to me & has always insisted on making malicious comments which obviously hurt my feelings. the first day i met her, she told me to stay away from her boyfriend! when i had done NOTHING at all to insinuate that i might like him. other than that throughout the year she has been generally insensitive - on my birthday when hardly anyone showed up to my party i was devastated but she made it even worse by acting like she was having a **** time instead of trying to make me feel better. it was really humiliating for me and the way she acted made it so much worse. other than that she is CONSTANTLY critical of my appearance - she notices EVERYTHING i do which is a subtle change and points out every time i lose/gain a few pounds. and i mean A FEW, as in 3 or 4. other people barely notice these things, but it seems like she scrutinises my appearance constantly just so she can make a comment about something. the thing that pushed me into making this thread was the fact that this morning i had just woken up and she started telling me about how she was looking at pics of me last night and how i was 'REALLY REALLY CHUBBY' in them and now i've lost sooo much weight? i said that it's probably because those pictures were taken so long ago and everyone grows up and looks different, but she repeated herself 3 or 4 times saying how fat i used to be.i also have bad allergies which make my face flushed from time to time, and i'm extremely self-conscious about it - as you can imagine she takes every possible opportunity to point this out, in spite of me telling her i get upset about it. when my parents came to visit, after they left she was like 'they NEVER come do they?' insinuating that they really don't give a **** about me (completely untrue, they're both professional people with extremely busy lives). she makes me feel really bad about myself, and generally speaking, she's very, very catty, spiteful and mean. i just really
dont know what to do about her, i'm SO fed up that its got to the point that im practically counting down the days until i can move out... HELP ME!!

*sorry for the grammatical crappiness of this, i typed it in a tear-filled rage*
She sounds incredibly self conscious, not to mention an absolute bitch and seems to be jelous of you! She's probably really insecure and sees you as a threat or thinks that you're better than her so by putting you down she feels better about herself.

My advice, and I know this sounds stupid, is to just ignore her. Listen to what she says but don't take it to heart. I tend to do the same thing with my mother! She's always making comments, telling me I haven't done something well enough but I just say 'you're right' or something similar and carry on as normal. Just let it pass you by otherwise this could bother you for the rest of your life.

I hope things get better for you :smile:
Reply 2
thanks for the advice :smile: and for being the only one to reply! anybody else...?
Reply 3
*hugs*

Not much else I can think of to say that's usefull! Sorry
Reply 4
Just reply everything she says with 'So's your nan'.

She'll probably stop bothering to talk to you after a while of that.
Reply 5
Have you talked to your other friends about it? What do they think? Also, is it just you she talks to like that or is it everyone?
Reply 6
Quira
Just reply everything she says with 'So's your nan'.

She'll probably stop bothering to talk to you after a while of that.

lmao :smile:
I think this actually might work, try it out. She'll get bored of you and move onto someone else.
I'd ignore her, just gives her another chance to get bored, even if she does act up a little bit more to try and get attention at first :smile:

Just think, she's probably just jealous. Your parents do have busy lives, yes, but they're professional, and obviously they've not done a bad job of raising you! If she needs to act like that in order to try and make herself feel big, then she really is an idiot ^_^
Reply 8
you could always take a crap on her face in the middle of her night and then criticise her appearance :biggrin:

then the little pig will cry and whine aaall the way home.
Reply 9
Hey OP, hope you're feeling better from when you started the thread :smile:

Perhaps you are being too much of a pushover, have you actually confronted her about her bitchyness? I dont think it would really hurt the situation if you just told her to **** off and if gave her a bit of a slap :p:

Have your other housemates noticed her being acting in this way towards you? Does she act the same way towards them?
Reply 10
Wow. You must be doing something right for someone to be so jealous they put THAT much effort into hating on you.

Chin up :smile:
pamelaa
Have you talked to your other friends about it? What do they think? Also, is it just you she talks to like that or is it everyone?


Yep it be exactly , how l'd handle the situation on this!:smile:
Reply 12
What about pretending she doesn't exist - pretending you can't see or hear her when she gets nasty? Just nod to acknowledge her presence if she says hi, but nothing more; after a while she'll probably feel slightly ridiculous talking to someone who doesn't react at all, and she sounds like the kind of person who's too cowardly to actually touch you or whatever to get your attention.

Is she like that to all the other housemates?
I think you should give as good as you get. For example, she says "You used to be so fat but you've lost weight" you could say "yeah I know, I can give you a few tips if you like" or something to that effect. She probably dishes it out but can't take it.
Reply 14
No! She's not like that at all to the rest of them, she's all sweetness & light with them! If the jealous theory is true, it's probably because the rest of them are severely overweight and/or ugly. And I'm not exaggerating this.

I really like the idea of ignoring her!! The worst thing about this whole situation is, I used to hate her last year. Then she was being really nice to me for ages.. and last night before I went to bed I was thinking how she's changed & she's not even being that bad now. Then BAM when I got up in the morning she started her BS again.

Anyone else have any other ideas though? Revenge ideas..? hehe
Reply 15
Read the following book and quote it at her every time she's a bitch.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_Bees_and_Wannabes
What a bitch! Like the others said, just ignore her, rise above the BS and give her the impression that you couldn't care less about her. It does sound like she's v insecure and jealous of you - just think how pathetic she's being if she does it again! :smile:
Anonymous
so i'm in 3rd year, and i've been living with the same group of girls for the 2nd year and this year. in a 6 bed flat. 4 of them are really lovely, but there's one who is an absolute bitch. from the first day i met her, she's been
incredibly rude to me & has always insisted on making malicious comments which obviously hurt my feelings. the first day i met her, she told me to stay away from her boyfriend! when i had done NOTHING at all to insinuate that i might like him. other than that throughout the year she has been generally insensitive - on my birthday when hardly anyone showed up to my party i was devastated but she made it even worse by acting like she was having a **** time instead of trying to make me feel better. it was really humiliating for me and the way she acted made it so much worse. other than that she is CONSTANTLY critical of my appearance - she notices EVERYTHING i do which is a subtle change and points out every time i lose/gain a few pounds. and i mean A FEW, as in 3 or 4. other people barely notice these things, but it seems like she scrutinises my appearance constantly just so she can make a comment about something. the thing that pushed me into making this thread was the fact that this morning i had just woken up and she started telling me about how she was looking at pics of me last night and how i was 'REALLY REALLY CHUBBY' in them and now i've lost sooo much weight? i said that it's probably because those pictures were taken so long ago and everyone grows up and looks different, but she repeated herself 3 or 4 times saying how fat i used to be.i also have bad allergies which make my face flushed from time to time, and i'm extremely self-conscious about it - as you can imagine she takes every possible opportunity to point this out, in spite of me telling her i get upset about it. when my parents came to visit, after they left she was like 'they NEVER come do they?' insinuating that they really don't give a **** about me (completely untrue, they're both professional people with extremely busy lives). she makes me feel really bad about myself, and generally speaking, she's very, very catty, spiteful and mean. i just really
dont know what to do about her, i'm SO fed up that its got to the point that im practically counting down the days until i can move out... HELP ME!!

*sorry for the grammatical crappiness of this, i typed it in a tear-filled rage*


Try and take control. Not easy, I know, but if you take the view "I'm choosing to take offence to this" it's a lot easier to choose not to. Some people are a bit rubbish - it's a waste of your hard earned energy to take notice.
Also, buy a hoodie with a massive picture of her face on it and wear it ALL THE TIME, introducing her to all your friends as 'Bargal Hempdrond', laughing like a maniac.