The Student Room Group

Social Anxiety and Prom

Hi everyone,

Right so basically my school is having a leavers prom in a couple of days and I've been getting increasingly anxious about it over the last few days. Basically, I suffer from pretty bad social anxiety, and have done for many years and it has sort of set me back in terms of my social life at school.

I'm mainly sort of worried about the drinking aspect of it since I'm not someone who has ever drank a lot and I know this is sort of uncommon at my age. I'm a little worried about the pressure to drink since I'm not really there for drinking, although I worry this will leave me out (probably assuming).

I'm not so worried about the meal part or that since we've been organised into tables and I'm sure I'll be put with people I don't mind. I don't really have a lot of 'mates' at my school, more just people I speak to at school but never really see out of school. I'm also very self conscious and I recognise that music will be played much of the night and people will be dancing, etc. so I'm a little concerned about how to act in that situation since I'm not really one to go up and dance.

It's too late for me to skip prom now, I paid £40 for my ticket then I've paid for my suit but a part of me wishes I just gave it a miss since it's not my kind of event. I think the guilt of missing such a big event at the end of my time at school forced me to go rather than my willingness to go.

Just wondering if any of you guys (with social anxiety or not) have any tips and can share your experiences to ease my mind. Thank you :smile:
hey, firstly as someone else with social anxiety you're definitely not the only one to consider skipping prom :') unfortunately I didn't go to either of mine (one cancelled bc of covid). drinking makes me more jittery, so I understand why you won't really want to drink. normally if I drink I go with one drink and just sip it the whole evening, and sometimes it makes me slightly more talkative by the end, but there's nothing wrong with ordering something non-alcoholic at all. that, and rose lemonade tastes much better than vodka.
I don't rlly have much advice about the dancing, bc I'd be thinking exactly the same as you >,< ur not alone ! make sure u go with friends or get ready with them, put ur mind at ease before you get to the venue. friends are honestly the best at hyping you up sometimes especially if ur not feeling it urself !!
also don't feel ashamed in leaving early. nowadays if I get invited for a drink I'll go for one or two and then leave if I feel like it's getting tiresome - luckily my friends don't judge me for it at all. If ur comfortable talking to your friends about it, hopefully they can understand how ur feeling even if they don't relate to you. if it helps to have a backup, ask if u can get an optional early lift from someone in case things go wrong, or whether you can stay longer if you want to.

sorry this was a bit of a brain dump, but hope it helps and good luck :smile:
I'm also part of the social anxiety gang and I'm mostly feeling okay about prom because I know my friends are going and I'll probably just sit and chat with them. If you don't want to drink alcohol, then it's okay! No one's forcing you to and I doubt anyone will notice.
Prom is at the back of my mind right now because it's after all my exams are over but I'm sure I'll start stressing about it sometime soon too.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone,

Right so basically my school is having a leavers prom in a couple of days and I've been getting increasingly anxious about it over the last few days. Basically, I suffer from pretty bad social anxiety, and have done for many years and it has sort of set me back in terms of my social life at school.

I'm mainly sort of worried about the drinking aspect of it since I'm not someone who has ever drank a lot and I know this is sort of uncommon at my age. I'm a little worried about the pressure to drink since I'm not really there for drinking, although I worry this will leave me out (probably assuming).

I'm not so worried about the meal part or that since we've been organised into tables and I'm sure I'll be put with people I don't mind. I don't really have a lot of 'mates' at my school, more just people I speak to at school but never really see out of school. I'm also very self conscious and I recognise that music will be played much of the night and people will be dancing, etc. so I'm a little concerned about how to act in that situation since I'm not really one to go up and dance.

It's too late for me to skip prom now, I paid £40 for my ticket then I've paid for my suit but a part of me wishes I just gave it a miss since it's not my kind of event. I think the guilt of missing such a big event at the end of my time at school forced me to go rather than my willingness to go.

Just wondering if any of you guys (with social anxiety or not) have any tips and can share your experiences to ease my mind. Thank you :smile:

Don't go then
If you are socially anxious, drinking alcohol will alleviate that, it's what alcohol is for, so why not give it a try? its a good opportunity because others will also be new to drinking and you are in a safe environment
Original post by Anonymous
Don't go then


Original post by Anonymous
I'm also part of the social anxiety gang and I'm mostly feeling okay about prom because I know my friends are going and I'll probably just sit and chat with them. If you don't want to drink alcohol, then it's okay! No one's forcing you to and I doubt anyone will notice.
Prom is at the back of my mind right now because it's after all my exams are over but I'm sure I'll start stressing about it sometime soon too.

I think the thing that is sort of making me feel better is basically everyone is going so people in a similar situation will be there. I'm not one to stand in the corner and never speak to anyone but I'm certainly not extroverted and one of these people hyping up prom like it is the biggest event of their lives. I'm just gonna go in and go with it, it's one night at the end of the day
Original post by Anonymous
If you are socially anxious, drinking alcohol will alleviate that, it's what alcohol is for, so why not give it a try? its a good opportunity because others will also be new to drinking and you are in a safe environment


I see what you're trying to say, and I have nothing wrong with drinking and trying it. I have drank a little before but never really in a setting with people my age. I doubt I'll drink much anyway, it's not really something I overly enjoy doing although I do recognise it's one of these things you become more used to overtime.
Original post by Anonymous
Don't go then


I accidentally quoted your reply earlier by mistake, so ignore what was written there (I'm fairly new to TSR). Probably on me but I've spent a fair amount of money in advance of prom so just skipping it would be pointless and a waste of money.

I've probably over-exaggerated my fears and tbh, like most things I get anxious over, once it's done I genuinely wonder what I was so worried about. I think I just worry about people's opinions, but considering I'm never going to see most of these people again, opinions and judgemental comments sort of go out the window
Original post by Anonymous
hey, firstly as someone else with social anxiety you're definitely not the only one to consider skipping prom :') unfortunately I didn't go to either of mine (one cancelled bc of covid). drinking makes me more jittery, so I understand why you won't really want to drink. normally if I drink I go with one drink and just sip it the whole evening, and sometimes it makes me slightly more talkative by the end, but there's nothing wrong with ordering something non-alcoholic at all. that, and rose lemonade tastes much better than vodka.
I don't rlly have much advice about the dancing, bc I'd be thinking exactly the same as you >,< ur not alone ! make sure u go with friends or get ready with them, put ur mind at ease before you get to the venue. friends are honestly the best at hyping you up sometimes especially if ur not feeling it urself !!
also don't feel ashamed in leaving early. nowadays if I get invited for a drink I'll go for one or two and then leave if I feel like it's getting tiresome - luckily my friends don't judge me for it at all. If ur comfortable talking to your friends about it, hopefully they can understand how ur feeling even if they don't relate to you. if it helps to have a backup, ask if u can get an optional early lift from someone in case things go wrong, or whether you can stay longer if you want to.

sorry this was a bit of a brain dump, but hope it helps and good luck :smile:

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it! Your idea surrounding friends is definitely a good one but, if I'm being honest, I'm sort of looking forward to leaving school and getting to uni for a fresh start regarding my social life.

I have 'mates' but I can't say I ever see them out of school, more just people I'll pair up with for group tasks or just sit at their lunch table. I appreciate your advice though, but my plan is mainly just to go there on my own and sort of group with people there considering we're getting sat down at tables based on who the organisers think we get on with
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone,

Right so basically my school is having a leavers prom in a couple of days and I've been getting increasingly anxious about it over the last few days. Basically, I suffer from pretty bad social anxiety, and have done for many years and it has sort of set me back in terms of my social life at school.

I'm mainly sort of worried about the drinking aspect of it since I'm not someone who has ever drank a lot and I know this is sort of uncommon at my age. I'm a little worried about the pressure to drink since I'm not really there for drinking, although I worry this will leave me out (probably assuming).

I'm not so worried about the meal part or that since we've been organised into tables and I'm sure I'll be put with people I don't mind. I don't really have a lot of 'mates' at my school, more just people I speak to at school but never really see out of school. I'm also very self conscious and I recognise that music will be played much of the night and people will be dancing, etc. so I'm a little concerned about how to act in that situation since I'm not really one to go up and dance.

It's too late for me to skip prom now, I paid £40 for my ticket then I've paid for my suit but a part of me wishes I just gave it a miss since it's not my kind of event. I think the guilt of missing such a big event at the end of my time at school forced me to go rather than my willingness to go.

Just wondering if any of you guys (with social anxiety or not) have any tips and can share your experiences to ease my mind. Thank you :smile:


youtube helps me get through damn near anything...it lets me know that i am now the only one feeling a certain way...https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCB4hAz3Q56rAgGF3KNAL_bQ
cool playlist on motivation...try

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