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    #1

    i have depression, unmedicated as i refuse to go back to the doctors, and the mh place that i went to I am now too old to qualify.

    I have started self-harming again, deeper than before, but i dont do it in fury, i do it in a sort of calm, understanding way. I don't regret it in anyway, yet it doesnt change or improve my mood in anyway. By this, I mean many people talk of how it makes them feel better, or happier, able to cope. But it has no effect on me. I just do it.

    Am I ill? Is this a mental health issue, or just a attention seeking stupid thing to do? I hide it, so its not like im looking for attention. I wont get help, or tell people I know about it, Im caring for the wounds myself.

    Its not like i am going too deep or anything, just worse than before?

    Can anyone help me?
    • #2
    #2

    I have no idea, I can't help you. I am the same sort of.
    I did it 3-4 years ago and stopped for 2 years, now i do it again and i don't understand why. i do it so harsh that everything has left dark purple scars and lumpy horrid textures and i know i'm ruining myself but i need to do it. i just need it, i just feel compelled to do it and I'm not a weak person, I gave up 3 years of heavy smoking all alone but this is beyond addiction. Noone knows about it, so I really don't think it's attention seeking, but you should really tell someone, stop. You might not realise, but it probably is a way of you coping. It just keeps your mood steady. I don't know why else you would do it if you don't feel a thing? I don't even feel myself or remember myself doing it, but I know it does something. I wish I had the guts to tell anyone but I just don't and I do it more and more and noone has any idea.
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    Just by posting this you are proving that you need help. When you cut, however well you hide it, deep down you're hoping that someone will discover what you're doing and help you.
    Cutting is stupid, dangerous, self-destructive and unhelpful when you're depressed. Ask for help, I know its hard, but cutting is a desperate cry for attention. There's no shame in admitting that you have problems and accepting support from your family and the healthcare profession.
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    you have a secret, and you like having this secret...

    ?
    • #3
    #3

    I know what this is like as my girlfriend was going through this a couple of years ago. You can't do it without support and encouragement. Find someone who won't judge you and will give you the help you need. Don't shut yourself away and pretend that it'll all go away. It doesn't make you crazy, but you do need to get it sorted. I hope that you can work through this. Whatever you do, don't keep it to yourself. Ok?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I am the OP.

    I do not want to be found out, which is precisely why i dont tell anyone, hide my scars and post as ANOYMOUS. its this kind of stupid backwards thinking that means mh issues are ignored in society
    you have f* me off now - imomo16
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    OP - you say you are too old to back to where you went before. Can you get refered to a similar unit for adults? (sorry, but I'm assuming here that you're talking about CAMHS)
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    Okay, you can tell yourself that. I know that it is shameful and hard to admit to yourself that you have a problem, and that it feels like no-one else understands you least of all random strangers on the internet or - heaven forbid - doctors. But, you asked for advice and I gave you it, from my own experiences of self-harming and what I think is the right course of action to take.
    Why did you even ask for advice if you don't want to get any? I'm not going to tell you that I think its a good idea or that you don't need help, because you very obviously do. An anonymous ask for help is still an ask for help.
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    If either of the people who posted as anon would like to speak to me, please pm me and I can call you, text you or whatever else you want. I have a lot of experience with self harm and I think I could help.
    x
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    Depression is an ilness so if you have it yes you are ill. Why do you refuse to go back to the doctor? what happened. I do urge you to go back. You dont have to see the same doctor you can ask to see someone else but thats the only way you're realy going to get help. and I take from the fact they you posted this thread they you want and need help.
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    When I self harmed, it did make me feel better, so I can't realy offer any insight as to why you're doing this when it doesn't change your mood. Hopefully though, a doctor could, and I'd really urge you to go back there before things get any worse.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by squeak)
    you have a secret, and you like having this secret...

    ?
    this. i love my little secret. i am so stupid.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by AmberH)
    If either of the people who posted as anon would like to speak to me, please pm me and I can call you, text you or whatever else you want. I have a lot of experience with self harm and I think I could help.
    x

    can you look at your emails please amber
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    As you said yourself, you have depression. That IS the problem.

    Self harm isnt really something you can cure unless you deal with the underlying problems first.

    And also I would like to say that even if someone IS seeking attention through this kind of behaviour, it doesnt mean their problems and worth any less, or that they dont have mental health problems, it just means they dont know how to ask for help.

    Also those who do it "just" for attention. Well they obviously need some kind of help too because a healthy adjusted individual would be able to find a less destructive way to get that attention.
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    self harm leaves pretty nasty physical scars, especailly if you're going deeper than before (which I assume means quite deep). Whilst these may be easy to hide now it might not always be that way and you might really regret it. I'm not going to lecture you about it because it's your body, but you might want to consider the lasting affects of what you're doing.

    Why don't you want to get help?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    this. i love my little secret. i am so stupid.
    You're not stupid. Is there anyone at all you can talk to? Even if it's just a friend.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Titch89)
    You're not stupid. Is there anyone at all you can talk to? Even if it's just a friend.
    i don't quite have the guts to tell my best friend, despite him being the most amazing friend in the world an i know he would understand and help me. i like keeping it to myself and just mine, and then i would be scared someone else might find out. attention seeking is the exact opposite- i don't want anyone to know
    • #1
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    #1

    how bad or deep do cuts need to be to get medical help
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    how bad or deep do cuts need to be to get medical help
    Well...I guess if they don't scab up pretty quickly, are bleeding heavily, don't stop bleeding.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    how bad or deep do cuts need to be to get medical help
    might help if you gave us some information.

    I love the subtle asking as well......
 
 
 
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