Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm feeling so used at the moment by my parents, friends, ex-boyfriends etc.

    My mother is currently undergoing treatment for stage 2 breast cancer, and i've been taking her to hospital appointments, looking after her when she's sick from the treatment etc..and she hasn't once had just thanked me..or had a conversation with me since she was diagnosed.

    My friends are all at university, made new friends and just forgotten about me, im going through a really rough time and i'm finding it hard to talk about my issues with them..as they're all so happy. I'm feeling alone aswell.

    Finally, my ex...the bane of my life lol :p: He asked a favour of me, which was emotionally draining as it was reliving a lot of hard memories, and he hasn't contacted me once today..or even told me he's recieved what i've done for him or just thanked me...I would call but now im worried he's pissed off..or something with me, as i'm constantly walking round egg shells with him at times...but not one single thankyou, or just recognition for what i'd done for him.

    Anyway I just want to rant, and i don't want to seem selfish..asking for these people to just pay me a bit of attention..but, im just feeling alone, confused and a bit used right now...

    rant over :rolleyes:
    Offline

    2
    Come over to Kingswood, I'll show you a good time.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Sorry that your mum has more to worry about than thanking you when she has breast cancer.
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by anna_spanner89)
    I'm feeling so used at the moment by my parents, friends, ex-boyfriends etc.

    My mother is currently undergoing treatment for stage 2 breast cancer, and i've been taking her to hospital appointments, looking after her when she's sick from the treatment etc..and she hasn't once had just thanked me..or had a conversation with me since she was diagnosed.

    My friends are all at university, made new friends and just forgotten about me, im going through a really rough time and i'm finding it hard to talk about my issues with them..as they're all so happy. I'm feeling alone aswell.

    Finally, my ex...the bane of my life lol :p: He asked a favour of me, which was emotionally draining as it was reliving a lot of hard memories, and he hasn't contacted me once today..or even told me he's recieved what i've done for him or just thanked me...I would call but now im worried he's pissed off..or something with me, as i'm constantly walking round egg shells with him at times...but not one single thankyou, or just recognition for what i'd done for him.

    Anyway I just want to rant, and i don't want to seem selfish..asking for these people to just pay me a bit of attention..but, im just feeling alone, confused and a bit used right now...

    rant over :rolleyes:
    I understand how you're feeling, but I also see you need to understand what they're feeling and going through. I'm not going to be subtle, what you said sounds selfish but then I can't knock you for that. You're friends are away, they have another life which they are currently living. Your mum needs a lot of help and she may not appreciate it (or at least be seen to) at the moment, but I bet she will be forever grateful - you also need to consider what sh'es done for you and all the times you came across the same way to her...

    As for your ex, move on, you need to. Don't beg on your hands and knees and act like his golden retriever, go find someone else and let him deal with himself
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Your mothers ill, give her a break just now. I'm sure she'll thank you once her treatment is over...
    Your friends are obviously enjoying their time at university, I take it's their first year, so new experiences and that, just like them settle in and I'm sure they'll be back to their old selves, if not maybe you should question if they really are your friends... some friendships can be fleeting. It sounds like your ex is using you to be honest. An ex is an ex for a reason. Do you still have feelings for him? Maybe you should think twice about doing him favours if he doesn't even acknowledge you. Wait for him to contact you.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I know i'm being selfish..but when i try to talk to my mum, even start a conversation she just smiles and says 'yes or no' she is just so unresponsive towards me, but not my brothers or dad...and it's really upsetting as i'm trying my best to help her. I think my problem is sometimes caring too much
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by anna_spanner89)
    I'm feeling so used at the moment by my parents, friends, ex-boyfriends etc.

    My mother is currently undergoing treatment for stage 2 breast cancer, and i've been taking her to hospital appointments, looking after her when she's sick from the treatment etc..and she hasn't once had just thanked me..or had a conversation with me since she was diagnosed.
    wow. that's really harsh for you to be upset about that. nice of you to turn your mother's cancer in to something about you. you want thanks for looking after her? it's your duty to look after a loved one when they're sick and you should do it willingly and without being bitter about it. it's a really hard time for her, there are tonnes of reasons why she might not say thankyou or be very chatty. give her a break.
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by anna_spanner89)
    I know i'm being selfish..but when i try to talk to my mum, even start a conversation she just smiles and says 'yes or no' she is just so unresponsive towards me, but not my brothers or dad...and it's really upsetting as i'm trying my best to help her. I think my problem is sometimes caring too much
    as I said, you need to understand what she's going through, she has much much more important things to worry about at the moment and she wont even realise she is distant. Maybe she is distant for a reason? think about it...
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by arisk01)
    as I said, you need to understand what she's going through, she has much much more important things to worry about at the moment and she wont even realise she is distant. Maybe she is distant for a reason? think about it...

    Im really angry about the people who are telling me im thinking about myself before my mum..my mum has been my number one priority for months, and i dropped out of university to help her, but im just concerned about our relationship aswell..even though she's ill, it doesn't change the fact i'm her daughter and im concerned about the cold shoulder she's been giving me.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    maybe she's feeling guilty?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    It could be that your Mum is grateful, but maybe she is embarrassed afterall its her job to look after you, perhaps she feels a bit weird with the situation being reversed. She may think she is putting you out ( even though shes not). I looked after my Mum before she got really ill , she has dementia and lives in a nursing home. She didnt always say thankyou either, but I know she really appreciated what I did for her.
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by anna_spanner89)
    Im really angry about the people who are telling me im thinking about myself before my mum..my mum has been my number one priority for months, and i dropped out of university to help her, but im just concerned about our relationship aswell..even though she's ill, it doesn't change the fact i'm her daughter and im concerned about the cold shoulder she's been giving me.
    as far as I'm aware you dropped out because you didnt like the course, so dont use your mums situation as an excuse. You're correct in saying you're still her daughter, which is why you should be helping her no matter what and if she is giving you the cold shoulder then you need to get over it and understand why. You want to be a nurse? Well get used to this sort of treatment, and if you can't understand what she's going through then I would recommend you reconsider what you've applied for before you need to reapply again
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Empathy is the key to solving alll your problems.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by arisk01)
    as far as I'm aware you dropped out because you didnt like the course, so dont use your mums situation as an excuse. You're correct in saying you're still her daughter, which is why you should be helping her no matter what and if she is giving you the cold shoulder then you need to get over it and understand why. You want to be a nurse? Well get used to this sort of treatment, and if you can't understand what she's going through then I would recommend you reconsider what you've applied for before you need to reapply again
    This. I looked after my mum when she was receiving treatment for breast cancer, and the treatment made her tired, snappy and emotional, and sometimes she acted as though she hated me. You get over it, she is going through hell, and u stick by her to the end. You're being incredibly selfish.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by arisk01)
    as far as I'm aware you dropped out because you didnt like the course, so dont use your mums situation as an excuse. You're correct in saying you're still her daughter, which is why you should be helping her no matter what and if she is giving you the cold shoulder then you need to get over it and understand why. You want to be a nurse? Well get used to this sort of treatment, and if you can't understand what she's going through then I would recommend you reconsider what you've applied for before you need to reapply again
    That too..but i probably would've stuck it out longer if it wasn't for my mum.

    How dare you say i can't handle being a nurse by the way i am with my mum, how dare you say that. Thats not fair at all, a patient is a patient..but when it's your mum its a whole different playing field, i would sit there whilst going through chemo and she would not say a word to me...im actually concerned for her mental well being, I understand she's going through a lot, but people forget about the family of cancer sufferers aswell, sometimes it gets too mcuh and its hard watching someone suffer..everyone focuses on my mum, but the loved ones suffer too, as in a way we're carrying it aswell..the fear of her dying, being unwell etc...
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    I think everyone's being a bit harsh... if your Mum's going through something like that then while it may be a bit selfish to expect her to thank you or whatever, it's still difficult to not have anyone to talk to if all your friends are going off to uni and you've got no-one to talk to about it...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Tbh I have to agree with littlemiss-sunshine. When something horrible is going on at home (which would presumably make you feel more emotional too) sometimes you need to have a rant to other people. Not because you don't understand that they have bigger things on, and not because there aren't things that you care about more...but just because it's therapeutic for you to get it out of your system and give yourself a little break before getting on with it again.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Peter North)
    maybe you shouldnt broadcast your whole life online, for people too comment on


    your bound to get some harsh comments

    I'm not the type to shy away from my problems, why be anon? I was after advice on how to deal with my relationships with these people, as they're at a breaking point...and all i get told is im being selfish.


    So thanks tsr, thankyou..
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Personal opinion

    You should understand your mum,she is going through a really hard stage in her life

    About your boyfriend,just leave it for now,dont get too upset on this.
    • Wiki Support Team
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    Wiki Support Team
    (Original post by anna_spanner89)
    That too..but i probably would've stuck it out longer if it wasn't for my mum.

    How dare you say i can't handle being a nurse by the way i am with my mum, how dare you say that. Thats not fair at all, a patient is a patient..but when it's your mum its a whole different playing field, i would sit there whilst going through chemo and she would not say a word to me...im actually concerned for her mental well being, I understand she's going through a lot, but people forget about the family of cancer sufferers aswell, sometimes it gets too mcuh and its hard watching someone suffer..everyone focuses on my mum, but the loved ones suffer too, as in a way we're carrying it aswell..the fear of her dying, being unwell etc...
    no it's not unfair at all, and it's not different in the sense that I'm saying. You clearly don't understand what she is feeling and what she is going through. How do you know that her being distant is not because she is scared of dying etc.? because im willing to bet it is, try and show some empathy, and in the sense of being a nurse, you will get the same reaction no matter what. Effectively you see your mum as being selfish because of her distancing, yet you clearly don't understand what she is going through. If you can't do that, then how are you going to cope day in day out with much worse cases as a nurse? how are you going to manage the emotional turmoil of it? What are you going to do? tell the people on their deathbeds they're selfish because they wont say thank you? As if that is the most important thing on their minds, saying thank you
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: November 10, 2008
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.