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Can I get him back? If so, how do I do it? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Ok, so basically...we broke up. Why?......because of the bloody distance.

    I understand why from his point of view. He said we would have been "perfect for each other" if it had not have been for the distance. We were together 4 months (which OK isnt loads and loads) but neither of us have clicked with anyone as we do with each other. However, he said "he liked someone else" at his uni, not because he preferred her to me, but just because he thought it would be easier with her being at the same uni.

    So thing is, maybe in my deranged state after a break up...I feel like this is a mistake- but then I think well he likes someone else- deal with it. But part of me is thinking its going to be really hard to find someone I like as much as I like him.

    I mean, he is travelling at Xmas and Easter. But I wonder if we could rekindle something next summer? Or am I being stupid?

    Do you think its possible/worth it? And what do I do between now and then? Nothing or something?
    • #2
    #2

    It sounds so tempting, and I know how you feel because I'm going through the same now. Me and my boyfriend were going out for 7months and it was so perfect and I had never felt like that for anyone else and at the moment doubt I ever will. It's been a month and a half and it's really kicked in and I'm completely devastated...

    But you're going to have to stop thinking about getting back together with him in summer, because by then thing will have completely changed, and for the better. You will have moved on since then, even though the idea is completely unthinkable now.

    I kept dreaming that we would get back together when I'm off to uni next year (possibly the same one) and when we won't be 4 hours apart. Except I've realised that I have seriously got to stop thinking about plans like that or else I won't move on. By summer you may have fallen for another guy who you feel just as strongly for, if not more.

    Give it time, and just stick with it. And remember that the decision you made was the right one. I know it sucks, but surround yourself by friends and keep yourself strong!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I just really really want him to ring me up and say "ive made a mistake we can make this work"...he was the one all up for making it work long distance in the first place.

    The thing that bugs me is 2 weeks ago he said all this "I think you're amazing you're a model and a med student and Im so scared of losing you to someone else"..I assured him that wasnt going to happen..then when we spoke on the phone earlier this week when we broke up, I said to him "Dont you like me in that way?"...and he was silent- why would he be silent after that- unless he didnt like me in that way at all? I find him confusing. And I find myself wondering whether he regrets his decision at all?
    • #2
    #2

    He's confused, he doesn't know what the hell to think. He's started one life and half left the other behind, and doesn't know what to do and what decisions to make.

    I want my ex to call me up and say he's made a huge mistake and wants me back too... and that somehow it can work. But I know it won't happen. I'm really sorry this is happening, as I feel the same right now! And to be honest I don't know what to do about myself. I can't see a way forward - we ended on good terms, amazing terms actually.. we were going to stay in touch and he'll tell me about uni and how his band's doing, but I sent him a message on facebook over a week ago now and he's ignored it (even though he's been on). I don't have a clue what to do!!

    And I've totally turned my crappy advice into a description of my problems, so I'm very sorry!!

    From past experiences, I would say the best thing is to do is when you next speak tell him that the pair of you clearly need to have some thinking space. You guys haven't had enough time yet to think properly. Even when you want to speak to him, hold it off for a bit. It's the best way to get through this with a clear head with the right decision.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I mean I said to him are you sure you want to close the door on this right now and he said "yes I think so, because we cant see each other because of the distance" which is fair enough. And I said do you want to close the door on this in the future he said "a lot of water goes under the bridge and you cant say, but for the forseeable future...yes"

    That sounds pretty definitive....and I know I sound so naive saying "this is right this is right"....but I know when I look back in 6 months on this my perspective will still be the same. I think we are making ONE HELL of a mistake. BUt at the end of the day it takes 2 right?

    I just want to get back together- but if he "likes" this someone else, even if it is because its more convienient...its gonna be pretty impossible. I wonder if he regrets it at all- even the tiniest bit?

    This is so annoying!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I mean I said to him are you sure you want to close the door on this right now and he said "yes I think so, because we cant see each other because of the distance" which is fair enough. And I said do you want to close the door on this in the future he said "a lot of water goes under the bridge and you cant say, but for the forseeable future...yes"

    That sounds pretty definitive....and I know I sound so naive saying "this is right this is right"....but I know when I look back in 6 months on this my perspective will still be the same. I think we are making ONE HELL of a mistake. BUt at the end of the day it takes 2 right?

    I just want to get back together- but if he "likes" this someone else, even if it is because its more convienient...its gonna be pretty impossible. I wonder if he regrets it at all- even the tiniest bit?

    This is so annoying!
    Anyone?
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    Nothing you can do about it. He is who he is, and trying to get back into a relationship with him knowing fully well that he doesn't feel that it works will only cause more problems. Either you wait for until it can become viable again, or move on. A little bit harsh I know, but if something like distance is so hugely important to him, there is not a lot you can do, and in the long term it probably will not work out.
 
 
 
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