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Dad owes me money (and has done for 3-4 months) Watch

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    Hi TSR,

    A few months ago my dad lost his job. He was skint at the time, he had no life savings, and he was on the dole getting £60 a week or whatever the dole pays people these days. He was down and out and came coming to me asking for £20, £50 or whatever. I didn't mind lending him this because he was (and still is) owed £900 pounds from the Inland Revenue. This borrowing carried on until he got his job back.

    It's been 3 or 4 months now since this happened and I still haven't had any of the money back. After tax, he is earning £320 a week. He's single and lives on his own so all he has to pay is his rent (£65 a week) and living expenses. Despite this, he has not made any attempt to pay me back the money he owes me (around £500). He insists that he will pay me the lot when his tax rebate arrives. This is starting to annoy me because:

    - He's been making this promise for 4 months now and I'm starting to get a bit dubious as to whether I will get the money
    - I turn 17 soon and would like to put the money towards driving lessons. With uncertainty lying over when the money is going to arrive, I can't really plan anything.

    So, what do you do? Do you take a deep breath and confront your dad or do you let it lie for x weeks/months?
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    Well if you want the money for driving lessons, would it be possible to arrange it so that he pays for them so its £20/£40 a week until the £500 is paid back.

    Money with family is difficult. If you've already asked him several times and are not getting anywhere then I dont know else you can do (apart from hint heavily towards your mum about it, and hope she has a go at him)
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    "Dad, pay for my driving lessons."
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    (Original post by Sparxy)
    "Dad, pay for my driving lessons."
    Arguably the most logical thing to do if you're going to take driving seriously. Pretty much half a year of lessons your dad owes you there...
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    Whenever i've had a large tax rebate, it's come in the months following the end of the tax year... i.e. April. OR my employer has sorted it out in the next paycheque.

    I'd get him to pay for things that you need. Keep note of what he's paying for, and how much he still owes. I'd personally make a spreadsheet in excel.
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    Consider that he might have other debts he's paying off first - or another equally good reason why he hasn't paid you yet.
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    Confront him. He's your dad, you can talk to him. He understands.

    Explain to him that you need the money for driving lessons and that you've waited over 4 months now. Ask him if he can pay for your driving lessons towards the money he owes you.

    If it were me, my words would be "So, what do you want to do about the money situation? Cos I kinda need it for driving lessons soon and it's been 4 months already, I can't really wait any longer for the tax rebate. Do you want to pay towards my driving lessons or something?"

    Good luck.
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    Let us know what you do!
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    If I lend my remote family money, I never ever ask for it back even if it is a loan. It's family.
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    Heh, my dad's loaned me tens of thousands - being family doesn't excuse me from paying it back!
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    (Original post by ThePants999)
    Heh, my dad's loaned me tens of thousands - being family doesn't excuse me from paying it back!
    That's what parents are meant to do! Give you money!

    Them borrowing from you and you demanding it back is retarded.
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    (Original post by Jinxed)
    If I lend my remote family money, I never ever ask for it back even if it is a loan. It's family.
    As a father he, shouldnt expect his 16 yar old son to give away £500 tho him tho. You did him a favour lending him it. His dad is earning £320 a week now, maybe you could try and arange for him to pay you for example: £50 a week for 10 weeks.

    Do you work full time? When I was 16 £500 would have been quite a lot of money to just give away.
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    (Original post by mr_cool)
    As a father he, shouldnt expect his 16 yar old son to give away £500 tho him tho. You did him a favour lending him it. His dad is earning £320 a week now, maybe you could try and arange for him to pay you for example: £50 a week for 10 weeks.

    Do you work full time? When I was 16 £500 would have been quite a lot of money to just give away.
    I worked from the age of 13, and gave my bank card to my mother and said take as much money as you need if you need it and I have never asked for it back.

    Whatever age you are, if you parents are in need of help and you can provide them with the help. What's the problem? After all they did invest and spend alot of money on you when you where younger trying to give you everything you want.

    I guess it depends how you been brought up, and by telling by this thread most people have no family morals.
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    (Original post by Jinxed)
    I worked from the age of 13, and gave my bank card to my mother and said take as much money as you need if you need it and I have never asked for it back.

    Whatever age you are, if you parents are in need of help and you can provide them with the help. What's the problem? After all they did invest and spend alot of money on you when you where younger trying to give you everything you want.

    I guess it depends how you been brought up, and by telling by this thread most people have no family morals.
    Well aren't you a shining example of martyrdom!

    It is not unreasonable to ask for loans to be repaid, especially for a relatively large sum as a 16 year old. The Father shouldn't be allowing his child (and yes, 16 is still a child) to carry the burden of his debt.

    You're essentially saying that people who don't agree with you have no family morals. That's wrong. People are entitled to their own opinion, but you have no right to say people have no family morals when you do not know the background of their family situation. Sadly there are dishonest parents and relatives in this world who would happily play the sympathy card in order to rinse you of your savings, and feel no guilt doing it.
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    (Original post by her0n)
    Well aren't you a shining example of martyrdom!

    It is not unreasonable to ask for loans to be repaid, especially for a relatively large sum as a 16 year old. The Father shouldn't be allowing his child (and yes, 16 is still a child) to carry the burden of his debt.

    You're essentially saying that people who don't agree with you have no family morals. That's wrong. People are entitled to their own opinion, but you have no right to say people have no family morals when you do not know the background of their family situation. Sadly there are dishonest parents and relatives in this world who would happily play the sympathy card in order to rinse you of your savings, and feel no guilt doing it.
    Family financial deals never work out well
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    If you didn't actually need the money, then I'd say leave it for awhile until he has more money but seeing as it's for driving lessons then I would confront your Dad about it and maybe instead of him paying it all back at once, see if he'd pay so much each week (like someone has already suggested).
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    (Original post by Jinxed)
    I worked from the age of 13, and gave my bank card to my mother and said take as much money as you need if you need it and I have never asked for it back.

    Whatever age you are, if you parents are in need of help and you can provide them with the help. What's the problem? After all they did invest and spend alot of money on you when you where younger trying to give you everything you want.

    I guess it depends how you been brought up, and by telling by this thread most people have no family morals.
    It's nice that you were able to offer money to your mom like that at the age of thirteen, but not everyone can. Ok so the OP's dad needed financial help and he got it but if he intended to pay it back as soon as he could - he should start doing so now that he's got a stable income again. Its not as simple as having 'family morals' sometimes and who are you to judge the people replying to this thread anyway?
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    talk to him about it? ask why etc
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    I would just let my dad have the money. He's your dad!
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    (Original post by Jinxed)
    If I lend my remote family money, I never ever ask for it back even if it is a loan. It's family.
    Poor money management...
    That is why you are now posting about filing for bankruptcy.
 
 
 
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