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will i ever be in a relationship? will any girls go out with me? watch

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    #1

    please keep anon!
    im 18 and:
    i'm not confident, not very good at speaking to girls and im pretty ugly in my opinion..im quite overweight and short
    although i do talk to quite a few girls, none are interested in me further than being friends... and i dont really come across that great
    i really dont see my self with anyone, i want to be with someone later.. but i dont think any girls would go for me :sadnod:
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    Alcohol + Clubbing = Win
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    CV Helper
    If you haven't met anyone yet, it's not the end of the world - you have plenty of time to get a girlfriend! The right one will come along at some point. :yep:
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    yup.
    as long as you kinda stay lookin i reckon you will.
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    I'm 18 and in the same position.

    Don't worry at all, she will come to you, I guarantee.
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    #1

    to someone like me girls dont just 'come along' lol!
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    Ok, this might be an issue when you're 30, but at 18, I really can't see this being much of a problem (unless you're planning on getting hit by a bus tomorrow - which your not), just be yourself and take things as they come, unless you really think it will make you suddenly so much better (which is probably wont) I wouldn't worry about it.
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    You could always work on your physique and appearance if that would help. Think of it as a good reason to improve yourself in whatever way you desire, and go from there. If you like yourself better, you will be more confident in yourself, and confident men are what women typically want.
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    overweight? Go to the gym!
    ugly? Sometimes outfit/clothing style can make a person look good!
    not good at talking to girls? I'd say if you had confidence in yourself then it's easy, but confidence is often ruined when you think you're ugly yourself.......now it all comes back to that confidence topic.
    I don't understand why people don't change themselves when they know something is bad for them?
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    (Original post by gamer91)
    Ok, this might be an issue when you're 30, but at 18, I really can't see this being much of a problem (unless you're planning on getting hit by a bus tomorrow - which your not), just be yourself and take things as they come, unless you really think it will make you suddenly so much better (which is probably wont) I wouldn't worry about it.
    This is pretty much what I came in the thread to say.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    please keep anon!
    im 18 and:
    i'm not confident, not very good at speaking to girls and im pretty ugly in my opinion..im quite overweight and short
    although i do talk to quite a few girls, none are interested in me further than being friends... and i dont really come across that great
    i really dont see my self with anyone, i want to be with someone later.. but i dont think any girls would go for me :sadnod:
    I bet there's a female TSRian out there right now considering writing a thread saying:

    please keep anon!
    im 18 and:
    i'm not confident, not very good at speaking to boys and im pretty ugly in my opinion..im quite overweight and short
    although i do talk to quite a few boys, none are interested in me further than being friends... and i dont really come across that great
    i really dont see my self with anyone, i want to be with someone later.. but i dont think any boys would go for me :sadnod:
    There's someone for everyone, just keep that in mind and with new confidence and a better attitude, it should improve.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    it's easy to say go to the gym and sort my fitness out and then you'll feel confident
    but its hard for someone who has no will power .. i start going to gym but then i still eat as much crap and then i end up the same as i was, sometimes worse and i hate my self for it and my confidence goes even more... then i see people in my year out with girls and stuff and then i just fell like im a loser... even though i know i still have time i still think to myself i gotta sort out my physique and appearance but then i find it hard because of my poor will power...

    how can i boost my will power to diet/excersize etc.?
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    do not just wait. youll stay alone forever if you wait. you have to be proactive, especially if you are short or fat or whatever. people cant see your personality so you have to show it to them - to everyone. its your only hope to avoid dying alone.
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    Bit strange me commenting on this considering I was thinking this way no more than a month ago, but there's more important things. I won't answer you with the usual cliches because with me still waiting for relationship #1 I have no evidence to back them up.

    Just put the brave face on, keep your chin up and try not to let it get to you. (no matter how difficult that seems now)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    it's easy to say go to the gym and sort my fitness out and then you'll feel confident
    but its hard for someone who has no will power .. i start going to gym but then i still eat as much crap and then i end up the same as i was, sometimes worse and i hate my self for it and my confidence goes even more... then i see people in my year out with girls and stuff and then i just fell like im a loser... even though i know i still have time i still think to myself i gotta sort out my physique and appearance but then i find it hard because of my poor will power...

    how can i boost my will power to diet/excersize etc.?
    Make a note somewhere, either on your phone's display / computer / etc, to exercise more / eat more healthily - but don't just put "exercise and eat well", put something personal to you, e.g. if there's a girl you like, let's call her Sarah, put "exercise for Sarah", or if you know someone really fat and unattractive (call him Dave), put "eat well or become Dave" - this way you have personal goals instead of it just being something impersonal...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    whole post
    If you don't believe you're a person worthy of going out with, why should anyone else?

    If you think you're overweight then start working out. Problems with confidence? Find something competitive that you enjoy doing, uni is good for this. Not sure what to say to girls? 'Hi' is a good start, take it from there.

    Life is what you make it, dude.
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    I'm sorry to say, but i'm guessing being overweight is hindering you. Last year, i lost about 4 stone, and got with two guys, and ended up in two decent relationships. As soon as i put that weight back on (and i'm big now, it wasn't as if i was skinny when i lost the weight, i was still a size 14) no guy has even given me a second look. It's depressing but true.
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    (Original post by Cocaine Socialist)
    do not just wait. youll stay alone forever if you wait. you have to be proactive, especially if you are short or fat or whatever. people cant see your personality so you have to show it to them - to everyone. its your only hope to avoid dying alone.
    fantastic bit of advice there...personality is important and no potential girlfriends are going to see you for who you are if you just hide away depressed in front of your PC and complain to random strangers on an internet forum.

    to solve the overweightness - you know what you need to do. ugliness - its all in the mind and you are probably underrating yourself. its a cliche, but beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. shortness - drink lots of milk (I drink 3 pints a day and im 6ft). as you've almost reached the end of puberty, you probably wont become a 6'4 god or anything, but it'll help you to grow a couple of inches.

    like the above quoted poster said, you need to get out there and showcase yourself - also people wont necessarily come to you, you have to go to them - again, pro-activeness will get you anywhere and everywhere you want, and will stand you in good stead for the rest of your life!
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    Forewarnings if the following appears to simplify women :P.

    You've given lots of reasons for why you think girls don't like you. All of them are irrelevant. Girls may be misguided into thinking that they are (or lie that they are), but I promise you they're not. If you have a good enough job/source of income to support a family, some girl somewhere will at the very least have your kids and most likely stay with you to look after them.

    The most guaranteed way to get 'beautiful' women, assuming that's what you want, is to get a good income + social status and let them be aware of it (they usually research such things well by themselves anyway, aka gossip). Confidence and other personality traits are nice, but secondary to the above.

    Confidence and good looks help to get short term girlfriends, but anything long-term will most likely need a good helping of good social status and income to keep it going. All the superficial traits advertised on mtv work well for 1-night relationships, but not much else.

    Someone will soon point out that confidence and good looks help with getting a good social status and income, but we can ignore this subtlety for now.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    it's easy to say go to the gym and sort my fitness out and then you'll feel confident
    but its hard for someone who has no will power .. i start going to gym but then i still eat as much crap and then i end up the same as i was, sometimes worse and i hate my self for it and my confidence goes even more... then i see people in my year out with girls and stuff and then i just fell like im a loser... even though i know i still have time i still think to myself i gotta sort out my physique and appearance but then i find it hard because of my poor will power...

    how can i boost my will power to diet/excersize etc.?
    The will power booster ----- you need to convince yourself
    1. You would like it to happen
    2. You want it to happen
    3. You make it happen
    4. It'll happen

    If you don't believe it or just "prefer it", then you might well just stay what you are now. Of course it's difficult, but everything is UP TO YOU!!!
    Poor will power......are you suggesting it is ok to be a loser? (even though I don't really think unable to be in a relationship is a loser, but since you've mentioned it yourself)
 
 
 
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