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    w...w....why is this a bad thing?
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    No matter what, he's still your dad.

    He probably feels bad enough with himself already. All I will say is be there for him, and don't push him away. Yes, it's a bit unconventional and it must be a shock to you, but he is your father. This doesn't change that.
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    Just addressing the sister preference issue. I don't know if this is what it is but in my situation my dad feels slightly more comfortable with me and my sister than my brother. This is partly because of the people we hang out with (my sister and I have friends who are more mature than our brother's) and partly because he feels embarrassed and an embarrassment. He feels he's let our brother down as a role model. It makes me quite sad sometimes but it could be that your dad is scared about your reaction and doesn't want to risk being rejected by you.
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    (Original post by chaywa)
    This has nothing to do with you OP, his decision is his own and ultimately bares no impact on your life whatsoever.

    He's your Dad, end of.
    Of course it impacts on his life! If it didn't impact on his life whatsoever then it wouldn't have caused him to make a thread then, would it?

    Also, you can't just say 'He is your dad, end of' as if paternity is always coupled unconditional love. For example if your father raped you and killed your mother then yeah, he still would be your dad, but not 'end of', because he would be a murdering rapist.
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    OP: get over yourself, this has no impact on you AT ALL.
    Just because he is gay it does not mean he will treat you any different. He still loves you.
    Let him live his own life how he wants and stop being so self centred.
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    (Original post by SJ_FallingFear)
    OP: get over yourself, this has no impact on you AT ALL.
    Just because he is gay it does not mean he will treat you any different. He still loves you.
    Let him live his own life how he wants and stop being so self centred.
    I think there is a tendency to take social liberalism too far sometimes. Yes, we should respect his right to be gay and do gay things. However, we should also acknowledge that it's a very difficult thing for a child to come to terms with, and in all likelihood will be more of a shock and more upsetting than if the OP's dad had gone off with another woman. If you find out that your father is gay, it means that your entire existence and all of your memories are based on deception.

    OP, please don't feel the need to 'get over yourself', this is clearly a very difficult thing to come to terms with. I would suggest that you talk to someone who knows more about relationship counselling than us, such as the Samaritans. Hopefully you'll eventually come to terms with your father's sexuality and realise he still loves you and is still your Dad
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    (Original post by xTazx)
    Just don't do anything stupid.

    That's a nice thing to say.

    Anyway, OP, I do agree with xTazx. There's nothing you can do. He has every right to be gay, and you don't really have any right to know either way. Saying that, it must be awful to have your perception of him shattered; now you'll see him differently, but that's not the end of the world. I'd imagine it pretty difficult to come out so you've got to give him some credit, but if you're not so keen on the whole idea of being gay then ask him to keep it out of your face, so as to speak.


    On the plus side, if he gets a boyfriend... extra Xmas presents?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I found out today that my dad is gay. I'm absolutely devestated. I've never felt more confused than this. Hes always preferred my sister to me, his son. I just don't get it... Why me? At the minute, I feel on the edge. I don't know what to do
    Well his preferneces won't reaaally be influenced by sexuality I guess. After all, I presume (read; hope) he isn't wanting to f*** either of you...
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    (Original post by biomedical-scientist)
    son of a gay!
    It's exactly that kind of attitude why the OP is probably worried and confused - so i doubt he needs idiots like you making things worse for him at the moment.

    To the OP:

    I know it probably seems hard at the moment, and even more so confusing, but maybe you need to think about it from a 'reality' point of view. Someone living a lie to make others happy? Because let's face it, that is what you dad would have been doing if he didn't say he was gay. At the end of the day, no matter what people say or how their narrow little minds might work, he's still your dad and i HIGHLY doubt his sexuality has anything to do with his love for you or wanting the best for you Perhaps speak to your sister about it, as it may help talking to a family member that isn't one of your parents (as the event i evidently parental related).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I found out today that my dad is gay. I'm absolutely devestated. I've never felt more confused than this. Hes always preferred my sister to me, his son. I just don't get it... Why me? At the minute, I feel on the edge. I don't know what to do
    mine too. dont worry about it. i've known about mine since i was 7. it'll get better, trust me.
    and im sure he doesnt prefer your sister to you, you might be reading too deep into the situation cheer up
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I found out today that my dad is gay. I'm absolutely devestated. I've never felt more confused than this. Hes always preferred my sister to me, his son. I just don't get it... Why me? At the minute, I feel on the edge. I don't know what to do
    WHOA!!
    i am genuinely sorry for you bro.
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    (Original post by Overground)
    I think there is a tendency to take social liberalism too far sometimes. Yes, we should respect his right to be gay and do gay things. However, we should also acknowledge that it's a very difficult thing for a child to come to terms with, and in all likelihood will be more of a shock and more upsetting than if the OP's dad had gone off with another woman. If you find out that your father is gay, it means that your entire existence and all of your memories are based on deception.

    OP, please don't feel the need to 'get over yourself', this is clearly a very difficult thing to come to terms with. I would suggest that you talk to someone who knows more about relationship counselling than us, such as the Samaritans. Hopefully you'll eventually come to terms with your father's sexuality and realise he still loves you and is still your Dad
    Ditto everything you said. It angers me when people are like "so?". I'm going to put political correctness aside for a second and say that for a son to be told that his did is gay is big-news. You could say that "gay" is technically just another type of sexuality so whatever (and I agree)..but we all know we don't live in such a clear-cut world, so drop the act.. it IS a big deal. OP, I wouldn't know what you're going through.. but I can understand how much of a shock it is. Ultimately, you should actively try not to let your relationship with your dad descend. Being gay doesn't make him any less of a person and you should try and remember that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I found out today that my dad is gay. I'm absolutely devestated. I've never felt more confused than this. Hes always preferred my sister to me, his son. I just don't get it... Why me? At the minute, I feel on the edge. I don't know what to do
    It isn't hereditary, if that's what you're thinking.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I found out today that my dad is gay. I'm absolutely devestated. I've never felt more confused than this. Hes always preferred my sister to me, his son. I just don't get it... Why me? At the minute, I feel on the edge. I don't know what to do
    Hey,

    I went through this as well. And my Dad had been married for 15 years to my mum when he finally came out.

    He's exactly the same person as he's always been, he's still your dad.
    Growing up my dad always seemed to prefer my sister too, but now I realise that he was just a bit unsure of how to bring me up, in that he didn't want me to get picked on at school for acting camp possibly.

    Just act the same with him, he'll be worrying ten times as much as you are right now, that you might not like him now or something.
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    OP:

    I think you're getting a lot of conflicting and confusing responses here.

    On the one hand, your dad is gay and you can't change that, it's your dad's right and a simple fact of life that he is gay. You will have to learn to grow and accept this at some point. He's your dad and he's always going to love you. He is still the same person he has been all your life and his coming out of the closet won't alter who he is fundamentally.

    On the other hand of course this affects you as it has come as a huge shock.

    I think it might be really good for you to get in touch with some youth groups about this. There are trained professionals out there, and if you don't want to talk there is free information, for people like yourselves: children of gay parents etc. Maybe family therapy sessions would be a good idea to help you all come to terms with this new news and consequential questioning?

    Try googling Mosaic Youth or http://www.fflag.org.uk/
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    The old adage: time heals all wound would seem apt. You'll feel all sorts of emotions, anger, confusion, lack of trust, etc etc. But when you come of it the other side, you'll realize that he's still your dad and you will still love him. Don't be rude to him, be as kind as possible, if you feel you can't spend time with him, take a little break, but make sure you communicate your emotions as keeping it all bottled up would be silly.

    Take care.
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    How can a Dad be gay? Did he have sex without pleasure or was socially 'forced' to do such thing?
    And how the hell can a Dad be a transsexual?
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    Woah. OP I really sympathise with you.

    But yeah, he is still the same person! It's not an illness, that being said I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling.
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    wtf? thats just a blatant showing of homophobia.

    your dads gay.. so what.. hes still the same person, and obviously, you havent noticed in the past, so it never bothered you, but now you know hes gay, you're devastated... get over it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I found out today that my dad is gay. I'm absolutely devestated. I've never felt more confused than this. Hes always preferred my sister to me, his son. I just don't get it... Why me? At the minute, I feel on the edge. I don't know what to do
    Surely that's a good thing, considering the circumstances.
 
 
 
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