Friends.... the questions when it comes to friends ....

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NeedHelp00!
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#1
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#1
Hey just a question regarding keeping in touch with friends.

I just wondered... whenever I message people, it is only to organize times to meet, etc. However, when I see others talking, it seems as though they know pretty much every little thing that happens in thier life.

I don't know why I'm unable to build this type of friendship. Is it because people message each other everyday? I have no idea.

I am a uni student. I just come from a very conservative family and I'm not trying to sound snub or ignorant. I am genuinly asking for advice.

I don't know who else to turn to. I grew the way my parents bought me up, but I know they are missing something here and I'm trying to change for the better.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cheers!
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TriplexA
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#2
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#2
(Original post by NeedHelp00!)
Hey just a question regarding keeping in touch with friends.

I just wondered... whenever I message people, it is only to organize times to meet, etc. However, when I see others talking, it seems as though they know pretty much every little thing that happens in thier life.

I don't know why I'm unable to build this type of friendship. Is it because people message each other everyday? I have no idea.

I am a uni student. I just come from a very conservative family and I'm not trying to sound snub or ignorant. I am genuinly asking for advice.

I don't know who else to turn to. I grew the way my parents bought me up, but I know they are missing something here and I'm trying to change for the better.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cheers!
Hi there.

If you feel like you're putting all the effort into the friendship then perhaps reduce your contact with others to see if they try to contact you. Friendship is a two way thing and at some point it won't work if only one person puts all the effort in.

Hope this makes sense.
Best wishes.
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hallamstudents
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#3
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#3
NeedHelp00! a good way to build strong bonds is to randomly during your day message someone letting them know something interesting just happened in your life, or you can just ask the other person how they are doing. You could also share things from social media or tag people in Facebook and Instagram posts.

To know everything going on in someone else's life it does take time and effort from both parties. It is very worthwhile to have this kind of friendship with someone. Instead of messaging you can also just call the person. You can even do this over video call (I for example use the video call on messenger). It can also help to do activities one on one. Me and my best friend usually go to a city in the middle of us and just spend the whole day together. This way you can do activities and also have to time to just sit down and chat and catch up with what's going on in each others lives.

Active listening is very important as well. If someone knows that you are there to listen, and that you are interested in listening, then they will be more likely to confide in you

I hope this helps.

- Rosie
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EdgeHillStudents
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#4
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#4
(Original post by NeedHelp00!)
Hey just a question regarding keeping in touch with friends.

I just wondered... whenever I message people, it is only to organize times to meet, etc. However, when I see others talking, it seems as though they know pretty much every little thing that happens in thier life.

I don't know why I'm unable to build this type of friendship. Is it because people message each other everyday? I have no idea.

I am a uni student. I just come from a very conservative family and I'm not trying to sound snub or ignorant. I am genuinly asking for advice.

I don't know who else to turn to. I grew the way my parents bought me up, but I know they are missing something here and I'm trying to change for the better.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cheers!
Hi NeedHelp00!

O
n top of the other good advice given above, as you are a university student I would recommend trying to join any societies or sports teams that might interest you. You could go with the friends you already have, or go and meet new people. By doing an activity together that you have a common interest in, it might be easier to socialise and transition into other conversations about each others lives. By attending regular sessions or activities with either your existing friends or the new ones you make, you'll be able to keep in regular contact and you'll always have something to do/talk about.

As others have said, friendship is a two-way street that does take time. It sounds like you're already pro-active making plans with people, but if you want to message people more go for it! I just suggest societies and/or sports teams as a good way to meet regularly and build/maintain friendships.

I hope this helps

Grace
BA History
MA Nineteenth Century Studies (History and English Literature)
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Stickerless
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#5
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#5
(Original post by NeedHelp00!)
Hey just a question regarding keeping in touch with friends.

I just wondered... whenever I message people, it is only to organize times to meet, etc. However, when I see others talking, it seems as though they know pretty much every little thing that happens in thier life.

I don't know why I'm unable to build this type of friendship. Is it because people message each other everyday? I have no idea.

I am a uni student. I just come from a very conservative family and I'm not trying to sound snub or ignorant. I am genuinly asking for advice.

I don't know who else to turn to. I grew the way my parents bought me up, but I know they are missing something here and I'm trying to change for the better.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cheers!
Sounds like just being an introvert if you ask me,

I have a small friend group of about 5 who i'm close with, we have a group chat we talk/call/meet a lot but other than that I never really message people - it depends who your friends are.

The only important thing is that your happy with how much you socialise and talk with people. you don't need to know every detail of a persons life to be good friends with them.

hope that helps but idk your full situation
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De Montfort University
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#6
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#6
(Original post by NeedHelp00!)
Hey just a question regarding keeping in touch with friends.

I just wondered... whenever I message people, it is only to organize times to meet, etc. However, when I see others talking, it seems as though they know pretty much every little thing that happens in thier life.

I don't know why I'm unable to build this type of friendship. Is it because people message each other everyday? I have no idea.

I am a uni student. I just come from a very conservative family and I'm not trying to sound snub or ignorant. I am genuinly asking for advice.

I don't know who else to turn to. I grew the way my parents bought me up, but I know they are missing something here and I'm trying to change for the better.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cheers!
Hi NeedHelp00!

Just to add my own experience to your question. Back in my 1st Year, I considered myself close to the friends that I had back then. I planned meet-ups and would often be the person who would start conversations in our group chats. It became exhausting to always start things. It stung for a while as it seemed they didn't really want our friendship to grow.

It was during 2nd Year that I started to find my crowd. It was due to meeting people at societies and sports clubs, as well as being more proactive during my lectures. Great friendships take a while to develop. I thought it would be with the initial friends that I made. It was definitely not the case for me. The long-lasting and close friendships you will make will come, it just will take time to find those people.

I hope this helps,
- Jesse, 3rd Year Student Ambassador
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NeedHelp00!
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#7
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#7
Hey guys,

Thank you all for the great advice. I sincerely appreciate it
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Natsudragon
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#8
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#8
heyy . just textem regularly . just a 'hwru' n 'wts happenin w u rn' can go a long way .textem everyday. in some tym , ull also b in such a friendship .hope dis helps
(Original post by NeedHelp00!)
Hey just a question regarding keeping in touch with friends.

I just wondered... whenever I message people, it is only to organize times to meet, etc. However, when I see others talking, it seems as though they know pretty much every little thing that happens in thier life.

I don't know why I'm unable to build this type of friendship. Is it because people message each other everyday? I have no idea.

I am a uni student. I just come from a very conservative family and I'm not trying to sound snub or ignorant. I am genuinly asking for advice.

I don't know who else to turn to. I grew the way my parents bought me up, but I know they are missing something here and I'm trying to change for the better.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Cheers!
1
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NeedHelp00!
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#9
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#9
(Original post by Natsudragon)
heyy . just textem regularly . just a 'hwru' n 'wts happenin w u rn' can go a long way .textem everyday. in some tym , ull also b in such a friendship .hope dis helps
Cheers man
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