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Anyone think uni shouldn't be told as "the best time of your life"? Watch

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    Basically, been here 6 weeks now and although my course is hard, I am enjoying it so I don't mind the actual reason why I came to uni, it's just all the unfortunate way of life that seems to follow with it.

    I don't mind cooking, washing and eating etc, I can cope with that alright as well. It's just the culture of to be sociable you have to go out and party or join numerous societies, and I just don't want to do either. Going out exhausts me for the week, I don't want to get drunk, and I miss my boyfriend who's back home so much more if I go out. My accomodation is a 40 minute walk away from uni, and further to our union so the thought of going anywhere in the evening for a society is horrifying... So other than occasionally chatting to flat mates in our kitchen, and talking to the people on my course, I spend one hell of a lot of time on my own.

    I enjoy learning, like I said that's why I'm here, I just wish people wouldn't always go on about the fact that uni's supposed to be the best time of your life, because I feel like a failier that it's not for me. I know it'll probably be better after the 1st year, especially moving out of halls into our own house, but all I can think about at the moment is how much I'd rather be at home with my family and boyfriend instead of the majority of the stupid immature people that I'm currently living with.

    I just wondered what everyone else thought of it all?
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    To be honest it sounds like you need to get over the problems you are putting in your way and get out to do things.
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    It's too early to tell IMO. I made a mistake of applying to halls so far away from campus I need to take a train, so I can understand why you are reluctant to go out (if I can't stay at a friends or go straight from lectures then I won't bother).
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    I actually feel a lot like you. It don't mind trying be social etc but just the way it has to be done is stupid, and I miss the same things as you.
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    You get out what you put in - if you can't be bothered to do anything then you probably won't enjoy yourself. There's nothing worse than sitting home alone feeling bored and miserable.
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    Aha, I thought you might be at Bristol with the whole "40 minutes from uni" thing. As far as that goes: that applies to thousands of us, and most people still manage it fairly regularly. Furthermore, now that the heady freshers weeks are over, I've found that most people aren't going out every night, so whether I'm in halls or going out, there are people to do it with.

    So long as you're enjoying your course, the other problems shouldn't be insurmountable. I don't think it's necessarily true that to have a good time you have to go out all the time and be in societies, and there are plenty of people in Stoke Bishop who do neither because of the distance - but you do need to make a bit of an effort to NOT spend all the time in your room.
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    Remember 'the best time of your life' is always going to be different for everyone.

    You already said you're not big into going out and getting drunk all the time/getting involved in societies, not everyone is. Just put up with everyone for the first year and look forward to the second year. It is much better living in a house with fewer people in my opinion. Although I like going out, I also like time to myself too

    I've enjoyed uni, but it's definately not been the best time of my life and sometimes I just get sick of it all... Just put your head down and study if it's what you like doing and visit your family and boyfriend when you can . Leave the people who like to get drunk to get drunk and have 'the best time of their life' to do that, and in time they'll leave you to study.

    Hope that helps.
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    (Original post by Ongels)
    Aha, I thought you might be at Bristol with the whole "40 minutes from uni" thing. As far as that goes: that applies to thousands of us, and most people still manage it fairly regularly
    That's Stoke Bishop for you.
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    (Original post by hang_your_heart)
    You get out what you put in - if you can't be bothered to do anything then you probably won't enjoy yourself. There's nothing worse than sitting home alone feeling bored and miserable.
    I know that, but if going out makes me feel worse, what choice do I have? It's ok most of the time, just get a bit homesick that's all. Missing my boyfriend so much too, as he's having a hard time back home at the moment and it's horrible not being able to support him.
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    OP, I agree with your statement. For me, it's a very strange experience and if this is meant to be the best time of my life, then I'm very worried for the future!
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    It's usually people who have a really strong network of friends, a boyfriend etc back home who don't think uni's amazing. People who subconsciously don't make an effort because they already 'have' everything.

    If you make an effort then it usually is the time of your life.

    OP why not drop uni?
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    personally i think its overrated, i mean my first year at uni was difficult because i didnt live out and it seemed like everyone on my course was a international student and hence made their own little friend circles. in the second things got better because i met some people and lived out and im now in my final year but cant say that my overall experience has been unbelieveable and i'll never forget it.

    personally if i think about it the best time of my life was in 6th form, i had known my friends for 5 years and it was just really easy socially and study wise. in uni it seems like i have to make a effort socially and the work load is really getting to me! if this is supposed to be the best time of my life then i really worry about the future because i would have missed a big part of my life!
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    same for me, we didnt have a common room so always resorted to sort of congregating in someones room which isnt ideal, and the people in my halls obviously arent as good a freind as someone ive known since i was 4.
    next year i think im sharing a house with someone i went to school with that will be a good year.
    i like you had high hopes and so far it hasnt lived up to the hype, school was better for me.
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    I completely agree with the statement that uni is the best time of your life. I really really miss my friends from home but I've met equally awesome people here and the social atmosphere is amazing. If you're not having a good time it's because you're not making the effort! At first I wasn't having a great time because I was moping over my ex boyfriend who dumped me just before uni and I was homesick, but now I am actually not looking forward to going home because I'm having such a great time here!
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    (Original post by Insanespana)
    I know that, but if going out makes me feel worse, what choice do I have? It's ok most of the time, just get a bit homesick that's all. Missing my boyfriend so much too, as he's having a hard time back home at the moment and it's horrible not being able to support him.
    I don't see how it can make you feel worse though? I don't mean to be unsympathetic but if it's a choice between staying in and moping or going out and getting to know people (even if it does mean you have to get off your arse) then how can the latter possibly make you feel more homesick? We all have days when we can't be bothered but it's important to make the effort, just for this first term. If you don't go out you won't get to know people and you'll never feel at settled at uni.
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    Staff at my high school told us that these were "the best years of our lives." I can't believe they expected us to believe that!

    Uni is nice but I figured life after would be better.. maybe that's just me though.
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    (Original post by Rocky Raccoon)
    I actually feel a lot like you. It don't mind trying be social etc but just the way it has to be done is stupid, and I miss the same things as you.
    It doesn't 'have to be done' any specific way. Similarly, there's no set rule saying it's the best time of your life. It is what you make it.
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    (Original post by cpj1987)
    It doesn't 'have to be done' any specific way. Similarly, there's no set rule saying it's the best time of your life. It is what you make it.
    Ditto this.

    In my first year I joined 1 society and didnt go out and get pissed much at all but I still have a group of really close friends who I love to bits.

    It really is what you make of it and if you put the effort in you will get a lot out of uni.
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    I'm sorry to hear you're not enjoying yourself.

    I do find that 'the best time of your life' is heavily influenced by the people you meet and bond with. It may be worth being just a little sociable so that you're able to find these people. You may find that once you do discover some great people, they too may not want to go out all the time, but rather chill with a coffee or something. People are out there, don't give up yet
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    I think it is well intentioned when people say "oh, you'll have a great time!", but at the same time it does hugely raise expectations and some people can find the reality of it hard and even distressing.

    However, it only gets better if you throw yourself into whatever you enjoy. I was a bit of a recluse last year, and despite having friends I stayed in my room a lot and played computer games. I drove myself mad. This year, despite it taking me 20-40 mins to get anywhere, I've thrown myself into university committes and societies. I'm an LGBT Rep. for my college, on the student's union's LGBT welfare and campaigns committe, a committe member for the LGBT Social society, a member of the Capoiera society (a dance-martial art hybrid) and generally a more social bunny than last year. I'm also making much more of an effort with my uni work. I'm stressed and exhausted all the time, but I love it.
 
 
 
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