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Am I anorexic? watch

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    Please keep as anon or delete

    Okay I'll start at the beginning. I'm generally quite insecure about my appearance. People say that I'm very pretty and have a wonderful figure (I get told this all the time), but somehow it's not enough to make me believe it myself. When I look in the mirror I see someone who is ugly and fat. Not obese, but my weight isn't where I want it to be. My tummy is disgusting and so are my legs and I hate it, and I hate when my boyfriend touches me there. We've had to start having sex with the lights out and I have to wear a top, and sometimes I have to stop half-way through because I feel so hideous and unattractive and I really just can't understand why he would find me sexually attractive. I'm constantly questioning our relationship lately, and he's constantly having to reassure me that everything is okay, which is draining for both of us.

    Over the last week or two, it's all gotten too much, the insecurity has kinda taken over my life. So as a result, I've not been eating, or when I do it's been very small portions. If I eat too much, I feel guilty and ill, and sick. And I've been sicking some of my food up, intentionally. It's the only way I feel okay again, and it makes me feel so much better after doing it. But now my throat is hurting, so much that it's hard to swallow. I feel weak and shakey and cold, but I can't sleep because my head is restless. My boyfriend has heard me being sick a few times, and although I can't admit it outright to him, he knows it's intentional. Somehow, I'm glad he knows, but at the same time I don't want him to interfere. I don't have anyone to turn to, I don't know who will understand. He just seems very emotional and upset about it, and has been subtly encouraging me to eat more, but he doesn't realise that eating more is just going to make it worse.

    I realise this sounds like anorexia, but is my level of self-awareness normal? Should I *know* that I'm anorexic? Or is it something else altogether?

    I'm very scared and confused, can anyone help me please?
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    What's your BMI like? Below 18, then yes. With that self image I wouldn't doubt it.
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    I've been anorexic,it's not fun..and in the long run you end up being heavier than you were before you became anorexic because once you start eating normally again you put on weight quicker because your metabolism slows from starvation.
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    Sounds like Body Dysmorphia to me.
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    I cannot give you medical help.. maybe if it scares you.. you should talk to a doctor..

    I can say this though.. every woman i have ever known well has been insecure and self conscious.. maybe not on outside.. but once you get to know.. they think they are ugly and fat.. when they are not.. I think it is built into their brains!

    You need to listen to your boyfriend.. and i mean listen and not ignore.. when he says you are pretty.. take that compliment.. You say people tell you all the time you have a great body.. so take that and listen to that..

    But maybe this is too far in your head now.. I say talk to someone professional.. stop yourself from making yourself sick.. eat normally.. or you will look a lot worse.. then you will have something to worry about..
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    (Original post by Brat)
    Sounds like Body Dysmorphia to me.

    What is that?
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    (Original post by Guru Sauce)
    I cannot give you medical help.. maybe if it scares you.. you should talk to a doctor..

    I can say this though.. every woman i have ever known well has been insecure and self conscious.. maybe not on outside.. but once you get to know.. they think they are ugly and fat.. when they are not.. I think it is built into their brains!

    You need to listen to your boyfriend.. and i mean listen and not ignore.. when he says you are pretty.. take that compliment.. You say people tell you all the time you have a great body.. so take that and listen to that..

    But maybe this is too far in your head now.. I say talk to someone professional.. stop yourself from making yourself sick.. eat normally.. or you will look a lot worse.. then you will have something to worry about..


    I know what you're getting at exactly, and I really appreciate the advice. But I can't seem to take on other peoples compliments. I question everything because I don't believe it. If I look in the mirror and know from looking at myself that I'm disgusting, why should it matter what anyone else says to me? How I feel is how I feel, noone elses opinions matter.

    I want to stop making myself sick, I really do, but I can't. I feel so bad after eating, I just have to do it. It's a paradox, I feel hungry but I don't want to eat, I know I need to eat, but I feel guilty when I do. And when I eat too much it has to come out or I just hate myself.

    I can't describe it very articulately, and I realise I'm probably not making all that much sense.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What is that?
    its where u see ur body differently to how others see it (which is evidently what u are doing), and is a common cause of anorexia.
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    No.. you do make sense..

    If you do not think you are strong enough to make the right decisions now.. then you need to tell someone.. maybe someone who can watch you.. and stop you from doing bad things.. or maybe a professional..

    It is good you recognise this.. but you must do something.. otherwise.. this will destroy you..

    I hope you can find a solution..
    • #2
    #2

    I know exactly how you feel, i made myself sick for the first time today and am a bit worried.It was horrible. My BMI was 17.2... now its 18.2 which is better I suppose, but i'm not happy with it at all.I know my health isn't what it should be as well, and I know just what you mean about the self-awareness issue.My parents say it's because I'm working too hard at school ,that it's how I 'cope with stress' and that it ties in with my 'over-achieving' image, but really I think it's just stupidity.stupidity I can't help!
    I hope everything works out for you, sorry I had to let out my own little vent there
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    Perhaps you two could keep talking to each other.. it might help you both.. if you talk about experiences.. it might be easier to set targets.. This is true in life.. sometimes you need someone in the same position as you.. to feed off each others energy..

    I just realise that this means one of you has to reveal yourself.. but it is just an idea..

    Good luck to you too second person..
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    (Original post by Guru Sauce)
    Perhaps you two could keep talking to each other.. it might help you both.. if you talk about experiences.. it might be easier to set targets.. This is true in life.. sometimes you need someone in the same position as you.. to feed off each others energy..

    I just realise that this means one of you has to reveal yourself.. but it is just an idea..


    Good luck to you too second person..

    Probably a good idea, but I don't feel as though I can reveal myself. Also, anything I have looked up online about anorexia and other people's experiences has made me feel really dizzy because it kinda hits home. And it's pretty scary. So I don't know how productive it would be anyway.
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    It is your decision.. I will not sway you..

    If you do not want to reveal yourself publically.. you could both PM me your usernames.. and I will let the other person know.. I am sworn to secrecy.. and I do not break promises..

    Either way.. stay strong.. and do not give up!
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Probably a good idea, but I don't feel as though I can reveal myself. Also, anything I have looked up online about anorexia and other people's experiences has made me feel really dizzy because it kinda hits home. And it's pretty scary. So I don't know how productive it would be anyway.
    Agreed.But it's nice to know we're not alone, anyway!Some battles we just have to fight for ourselves. I hope it's just a passing phase.
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    (Original post by Guru Sauce)
    It is your decision.. I will not sway you..

    If you do not want to reveal yourself publically.. you could both PM me your usernames.. and I will let the other person know.. I am sworn to secrecy.. and I do not break promises..

    Either way.. stay strong.. and do not give up!
    And thanks for being so kind and helpful without being scornful.
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    Do not mention it.. I do not see why someone would be scornful.. this is your health we are talking about.. people in your position need support..

    You can get through this.. it will make you stronger!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please keep as anon or delete

    Okay I'll start at the beginning. I'm generally quite insecure about my appearance. People say that I'm very pretty and have a wonderful figure (I get told this all the time), but somehow it's not enough to make me believe it myself. When I look in the mirror I see someone who is ugly and fat. Not obese, but my weight isn't where I want it to be. My tummy is disgusting and so are my legs and I hate it, and I hate when my boyfriend touches me there. We've had to start having sex with the lights out and I have to wear a top, and sometimes I have to stop half-way through because I feel so hideous and unattractive and I really just can't understand why he would find me sexually attractive. I'm constantly questioning our relationship lately, and he's constantly having to reassure me that everything is okay, which is draining for both of us.

    Over the last week or two, it's all gotten too much, the insecurity has kinda taken over my life. So as a result, I've not been eating, or when I do it's been very small portions. If I eat too much, I feel guilty and ill, and sick. And I've been sicking some of my food up, intentionally. It's the only way I feel okay again, and it makes me feel so much better after doing it. But now my throat is hurting, so much that it's hard to swallow. I feel weak and shakey and cold, but I can't sleep because my head is restless. My boyfriend has heard me being sick a few times, and although I can't admit it outright to him, he knows it's intentional. Somehow, I'm glad he knows, but at the same time I don't want him to interfere. I don't have anyone to turn to, I don't know who will understand. He just seems very emotional and upset about it, and has been subtly encouraging me to eat more, but he doesn't realise that eating more is just going to make it worse.

    I realise this sounds like anorexia, but is my level of self-awareness normal? Should I *know* that I'm anorexic? Or is it something else altogether?

    I'm very scared and confused, can anyone help me please?
    A possibility.
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    A possibility.


    Kinda scary :

    Symptoms

    Common symptoms of BDD include:

    * Obsessive thoughts about perceived appearance defect.

    * Obsessive and compulsive behaviors related to perceived appearance defect (see section below).
    * Major depressive disorder symptoms.
    * Delusional thoughts and beliefs related to perceived appearance defect.
    * Social and family withdrawal, social phobia, loneliness and self-imposed social isolation.
    * Suicidal ideation.
    * Anxiety; possible panic attacks.
    * Chronic low self-esteem.

    * Feeling self-conscious in social environments; thinking that others notice and mock their perceived defect.
    * Strong feelings of shame.
    * Avoidant personality: avoiding leaving the home, or only leaving the home at certain times, for example, at night.
    * Dependant personality: dependence on others, such as a partner, friend or parents.

    * Inability to work or an inability to focus at work due to preoccupation with appearance.
    * Decreased academic performance (problems maintaining grades, problems with school/college attendance).
    * Problems initiating and maintaining relationships (both intimate relationships and friendships).
    * Alcohol and/or drug abuse (often an attempt to self-medicate).

    [edit] Compulsive behaviors

    Common compulsive behaviors associated with BDD include:

    * Compulsive mirror checking, glancing in reflective doors, windows and other reflective surfaces.
    * Alternatively, an inability to look at one's own reflection or photographs of oneself;often the removal of mirrors from the home.
    * Attempting to camouflage imagined defect: for example, using cosmetics, wearing baggy clothing, maintaining specific body posture or wearing hats.
    * Excessive grooming behaviors: skin-picking, combing hair, plucking eyebrows, shaving, etc.
    * Compulsive skin-touching, especially to measure or feel the perceived defect.
    * Reassurance-seeking from loved ones.
    * Excessive dieting and exercise.
    * Comparing appearance/body-parts with that of others, or obsessive viewing of favorite celebrities or models whom the person suffering from BDD wishes to resemble.
    * Use of distraction techniques: an attempt to divert attention away from the person's perceived defect, e.g. wearing extravagant clothing or excessive jewellery.
    * Compulsive information seeking: reading books, newspaper articles and websites which relates to the person's perceived defect, e.g. hair loss or dieting and exercise.
    * Obsession with plastic surgery or dermatology procedures, with little satisfactory results for the patient.
    * In extreme cases, patients have attempted to perform plastic surgery on themselves, including liposuction and various implants with disastrous results. Patients have even tried to remove undesired features with a knife or other such tool when the center of the concern is on a point, such as a mole or other such feature in the skin.



    All in bold applies.

    But should I really be this self-aware?

    I'm very, very scared. My throat hurts (so so much) and I feel so cold and ill. I know something isn't right, but I just want to be sure about what it is, so I can look into sorting myself out.
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    i weight 67KG and i'm 16
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    (Original post by Brat)
    Sounds like Body Dysmorphia to me.
    Swing and a miss.
 
 
 
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