I don't think you're pathetic and would never call you that as it is just making you feel bad about yourself unnecessarily, but I do think you're doing yourself a tremendous disservice by remaining in what is essentially a childlike and dependent state of being. I feel that it is important for your personal growth to live as an adult young woman and work towards independence. You may find that your anxiety is exacerbated by your dependence on your family. Confidence and life experience doesn't knock on the door -it has to be earned and is one of the true joys of adult life.
It's your life but I really do think it's time for you to grow up! Maybe though my strong reaction is because I just broke up with a 36 year old version of yourself who drove me mad with his immaturity. He and his brother are both in their thirties and still live at home. I met him when he was 34, had never had a girlfriend, had no job. He treated me so cruelly right to the very end and I wish I had not bothered. He had very little ambition, was incredibly tight with money, had no clue about bills or real life. His mother does his cooking, laundry, shopping, bills, even his lunch for the job he now has! After 2 years I couldn't respect a man like that. We broke up because I wanted to move things forward a little bit but he wasn't willing to give up his home comforts and finalised the break up by text while I was teaching abroad.
He was the most self centred, controlling, immature, irresponsible, unsophisticated man I have ever had the misfortune to be involved with. His brother wasn't much different to be honest - he was incredibly self-absorbed too. You know what was really creepy? The Christmas before he met me, his mum had taken a photo of him and his brother in their pyjamas and dressing gowns sitting on the lounge floor opening their presents! They weren't 10 and 12 years old - they were 31 and 33! It's like they were never alllowed to grow up. But growing up and flying the nest is the right of every offspring, human or animal.
My ex also had anxiety problems but I believe they were exacerbated by his constant avoiding of life. It's amazing how resilient you become when you have to stand on your own two feet and achieve a home, an income and cope with bills all off your own bat. You need to leave home and spread your wings in order to develop adult confidence. If you don't you are in danger of becoming only half the person you could have been. There is a life and a world outside your parental home. And you can cope with it!
Personally I would say to you - you're 23, you're still young but not that young, you're way past teenage, it's time to get out of your parents hair and carve out your own life. You're a separate adult, not an extension of them. They've raised you now it's your job to make them and you proud and use the life they gave you all those years ago!
Develop some goals, what sort of woman do you want to be? What are you good at? Where do you want to live? Great books for confidence building and identifying goals are "The Positive Woman" by Gael Lindenfield, "A Woman In Your Own Right" by Anne Dickson and "How To Get What You Want And Want What You Have" by John Gray. I heard a great quote the other day too which might help - "If you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always got" Spot on!!
Please don't end up like my ex - you deserve so much more than that. You can be so much more than that! It's a question of self respect and self confidence. Go for it! Or you'll be 33, 43, 53 and still where you are now! Sure you'll be fine, you'll cope. But you'll never know what else you could have done unless you get out there and try it!
Clubbing isn't the only way to meet a guy, I met my ex on a speed date. I hate clubbing too nd I only have a few good friend - I prefer quality to quantity where people are concerned! Don't worry about having a gaggle of mates - if you have just one or two good friends who understand you that is all you need. There are plenty of special interest groups to join where you will meet likeminded folk and make friends.
First though, I think that before you do anything, including thinking about boyfriends, you need to do some personal work. Look at the books I suggested or other similar ones that take your fancy. Think about who you are and what you want from life. Develop some personal goals - work and social. Know who you are and what you want from life as much as possible and then it will be easier to find the best fits for you at work, with friendships and with men.
Do it at your own pace but I would say working towards independence and developing yourself as a person and as a woman is the way to go honey. It's entirely up to you of course but I believe remaining at home beyond a certain age is unhealthy. Likely why my ex had reached 34, had never had a girlfriend and had zero self confidence when he met me. He was then, as I have said, an incredibly self absorbed and insecure man to have a relationship with. He was almost a non-person. I was stronger than him and he felt overwhelmed by me. But it was only because I was independent and a healthy confident adult woman - he was still living like a teenager. His insecurity meant that he became very controlling and cruel and allowed our 2 year relationship to end by text - he didn't want to see me face to face when I got home. I was only away for 6 weeks. Basically he resented me for having the confidence and the courage to do things he couldn't, like get on the plane and teach in a foreign country for 6 weeks. But he denied himself the opportunity to develop the confidence he resented me for having when he chose to remain with his parents and avoid real life.
Life is hard and scary when you strike out on your own, but it is tremendously rewarding too, especially personally. Life experience, negative or positive, is priceless.
Don't rush into anything yet, think about what I and other posters have said, think about what you want and then work towards that.
As long as you are happy, it doesn't really matter, but I believe there are greater rewards awaiting you outside the safety of your parents home. Best of luck honey xxxxxx