Make it More Seafarer-ey !!

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the bear
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#1
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#1
So in the US& A the 25th of June is National Seafarer Day :yep:

Let us weigh anchor & set sail in the good ship Wordplay to celebrate

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The salty seadog and his cabin boy sidekick Roger were able to crack cases which baffled the Yard


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Toki the Dumdum harrysbar The_Lonely_Goatherd Good bloke Muttley79 nulli tertius chazwomaqAndrew97 Plantagenet Crown Fullofsurprises LiberOfLondon ecolierlondonmyst Sammylou40GlazJoinedup uberteknikPhoenixfeather99AngryJellyfish laurawattwinterscomingBlue_Cow RedTwisttoonervoustotalk Deggs_14 HRobson_BMCSinnoh SaDe7RogerOxonAnonymous1502 DrewskiQuasaParacosm The Usherette™ lyer in hellfyreMidge Bang Udder OrderProducktiveOndeKarelinaGreyWolfTooDr CoxPhantom 1517Dan0101026Soapusername5264250FV75mqb2766cambioTobelstienCoolBroStereoKjekjeSkittishNappLaserquestAleshabecausethenightOberonflyLovelyFoxProxyBuckHowlsHalfeti RoseWoooordabsolutelysproutMoonboChoc fanGhostladyCoolestMacyAmeliaLyndseyROTLRsxgewSameeraClaudiaDaveoNeviBlackCatFlobroLaurenceAnonymous1502Guru JasonLego Men OnJoyfulGeekMarkovHardy_BtgHannaRufusSynergy~Medic WilVanessaCnightingalegendVersionsBecca216Mr WillyjellyRetreadicossummerberrychopinnocMesopotGolderzshortieTashFionaandDonkeymnotzetamfctinygirlBlueIndigoVioletTJ1997DaryaJoyAstraPhoenixRoseWannaCambioAsaYunoouser11235813cleanseBexKorrasmorrasajilemonadeteatreblebeefox houndbbyooserJolesJustaboutmeddadCute KawaiiImperatorFatinespinningtopjoey srpugglet HellllppppScarletMillionsSir Rutlandtimespentjackpotu_w_DSKEdacba_w_HALLOONMickeyM&SS&FProperladFFFMehvijRam RYeoAeshaMarkWise GTinyPizzahomecounterPStevensAmeliab2PRich PCkentReading MumKing LouiswaxerAzureWindChlaminmate4DopticsDentaldreamsjustvisitedSocraticNikkiBHM365nm12345Leafysealonestercote1ojhungrysalBraindraindjinnsterArtfultinyBenjiHedgeyJoshwoodsniamhblobfishRaptorJKA_Pcoco:)TriplexBarbedwirelessjessicaMnonIraDozyJosennthkoinoII1LMayhemTalkativeDQpenguingirlBookworm524kizarkitoAestheticIncomeinanotherSufysaliaaG QuinnImpervMeduseOJpaprika
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the bear
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#2
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#2
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sailor

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossa...al_terms_(A-L)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossa...al_terms_(M-Z)

https://www.worldhistory.org/article...g-expressions/
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marchag
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#3
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#3
:captain:
Sir Chris Ahoy
See you later navigator
The Lost Buoys
Nancy Drew and the Hearty Buoys

Russel Crowe's Nest
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TriplexA
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#4
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#4
You can be shore that bear's pun threads are irresistable as you always keep wanting moor.
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the bear
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#5
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#5
(Original post by marchag)
:captain:
Sir Chris Ahoy
See you later navigator
The Lost Buoys
Nancy Drew and the Hearty Buoys

Russel Crowe's Nest
:woo: ahoy there Sir March ! a fine cargo of punnage :yay:

#3 is especially seaworthy

the people of Hull are lovin' it :yep:

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This place is situated in Pfaffenhofen an der Ilm, Oberbayern, Bayern, Germany, its geographical coordinates are 48° 36' 0" North, 11° 41' 0" East


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Herren,

Bitte bringen Sie keine Kebabs und andere fettige Speisen
zum Mitnehmen in die Umkleidekabinen und den Duschbereich.
Vor kurzem mussten wir die Vorhänge wegen starker Verschmutzung ersetzen.
Wir bieten Papierhandtücher und so weiter
Einige Mitglieder hielten es jedoch für bequemer,
ihre Finger an den Vorhängen abzuwischen.
Unser engagiertes Reinigungsteam unter der Leitung von Big Wiebke
hat deutlich gemacht, dass genug genug ist.
Wie üblich ist die Mehrheit gezwungen,
unter den Handlungen einer selbstsüchtigen Minderheit zu leiden.
Ab dem 29. Juni werden alle auf dem Gelände gefundenen Döner
und Döner von Big Britta beschlagnahmt und an Obdachlose abgegeben.
Gerne können Sie nicht färbende Produkte wie Werther's Originals konsumieren.
Wenn Sie sich über die Einhaltung nicht sicher sind,
fragen Sie bitte die große Anna-Lena an der Rezeption.


Heinz Harro Max Wilhelm Georg Schulze-Boysen

Stellvertretender stellvertretender Leiter der Gardinen und so

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Gentlemen,

Please do not bring kebabs and other greasy take away food
into the changing rooms & shower area.
Recently we have had to replace the curtains due to heavy staining.
We provide paper towels and that
but certain members felt that it was more convenient
to wipe their fingers on the curtains.
Our dedicated team of cleaners led by big Wiebke
have made it clear that enough is enough.
As usual the majority are forced to suffer by the actions of a selfish minority.
From the 29th June all kebabs and that found on the premises
will be confiscated by big Britta and given to the homeless.
You are welcome to consume non-staining products such as Werther's Originals.
If you are not sure about compliance please ask big Anna-Lena at reception.


Heinz Harro Max Wilhelm Georg Schulze-Boysen

Deputy Assistant Manager of curtains and that
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Fullofsurprises
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#6
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#6
Can't wait to get stuck into Captain Punwash (aka the bear) 'es latest thread.
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the bear
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#7
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#7
(Original post by TriplexA)
You can be shore that bear's pun threads are irresistable as you always keep wanting moor.
:woo: hehehe thank you so much Sir Trip :yay:

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penguingirl18
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#8
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#8
You've been shipwreck-rolled!

Dancing With the Starboard

Nineteen-Matey-Four

Blue Jay Wave - the Beatles

The Taming of the Crew

pasta mariner

The Beatles for Sail

Sea Liebt Deck - the Beatles, German version of Sea Loves You

Knot a Second Time

Eric Captain

Ahoy Named Sue - Johnny Cash
Last edited by penguingirl18; 1 month ago
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penguingirl18
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#9
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#9
More puns without belay:

Landlubber Soul (Beatles' album)

Dock Ness

Port D'Arthur
Last edited by penguingirl18; 1 month ago
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meddad
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#10
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#10
Is this thread about semen?

Just asking before I post anything inappropriate.
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Cote1
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#11
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#11
About A Hoy

To Have And Have Yacht
Last edited by Cote1; 1 month ago
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Fullofsurprises
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#12
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#12
The Catamaran who Fell to Earth

We Were Schooners

Master and Commander Blaster
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the bear
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#13
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#13
(Original post by Fullofsurprises)
Can't wait to get stuck into Captain Punwash (aka the bear) 'es latest thread.

The Catamaran who Fell to Earth

We Were Schooners

Master and Commander Blaster
:rave: very shipshape Ma'am :girl:

the people of Hull are delighted

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Damen,
Vielleicht denken Sie darüber nach,
diese zu entfernen
nicht so lustige Lachfältchen
oder machen Sie Ihre Lippen
wieder frisch für die Flitterwochen?
Anstatt dein Gesicht mit Plastik zu füllen
Warum versuchen Sie es nicht stattdessen
mit einer traditionellen Behandlung?
Big Cäcilie Off-Empfang ist eine erfahrene Faltenentfernerin
der viele glühende Zeugnisse teilen kann
von Damen in einem bestimmten Alter.
Sie verwendet eine geheime Formel,
die nur aus natürlichen Zutaten hergestellt wird,
darunter Wildschweinfett und Schnaps,
die die Frauen ihrer Familie seit Hunderten von Jahren überliefern.
Big F verlangt nicht viel und garantiert jede Mark zurückzuerstatten,
wenn man nicht zwanzig Jahre jünger aussieht.

Josias Georg Wilhelm Adolf Erbprinz zu Waldeck und Pyrmont


Stellvertretender stellvertretender Leiter der Hautglättung und so weiter

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Ladies,
perhaps you are thinking of removing those
not so funny laughter lines
or making your lips honeymoon fresh again ?
Instead of filling your face with plastic
why not try a traditional treatment instead ?
Big Cäcilie off reception is an experienced Faltenentfernerin
who can share many glowing testimonials
from ladies of a certain age.
She uses a secret formula made from only natural ingredients
including wild boar fat and schnapps which the women of her family
have handed down for hundreds of years.
Big F does not charge very much and guarantees to refund every Mark
if you do not look twenty years younger.

Josias Georg Wilhelm Adolf Erbprinz zu Waldeck und Pyrmont


Deputy Assistant Manager of skin smoothness and that
Last edited by the bear; 1 month ago
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the bear
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#14
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#14
(Original post by penguingirl18)
You've been shipwreck-rolled!

Dancing With the Starboard

Nineteen-Matey-Four

Blue Jay Wave - the Beatles

The Taming of the Crew

pasta mariner

The Beatles for Sail

Sea Liebt Deck - the Beatles, German version of Sea Loves You

Knot a Second Time

Eric Captain

Ahoy Named Sue - Johnny Cash

More puns without belay:

Landlubber Soul (Beatles' album)

Dock Ness

Port D'Arthur
:rave: a fine fleet of puns Your Ladyship :girl:

The Taming of the Crew made me chortle

the people of Hull are amused also :yep:

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Damen,
morgen abend veranstalten wir unseren alljährlichen kuchenwettbewerb
in den Boris Becker Sinnesgärten.
Bitte bringen Sie nicht mehr als zwei Torten in voller Größe mit
oder ein halbes Dutzend Feenkuchen und so.
Als Hauptgewinn winkt eine Woche Urlaub in Liechtenstein.
Der zweite Preis wird zwei Wochen dort sein.
Wenn Sie teilnehmen möchten, kommen Sie einfach an der Rezeption vorbei
und mit der großen Ermintraud plaudern.
Das Startgeld beträgt DM 88,- inklusive eines originellen Hutes
mit Ihrem Namen und einer kleinen Tüte Sauerkraut.
Alle Kuchen werden vom Organisationskomitee einbehalten
und zu gegebener Zeit an Bedürftige verteilt.

Friedrich Karl Freiherr von Eberstein

Deputy Assistant Commissioner für Kuchen und so

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Ladies,
tomorrow evening we shall be holding our annual cake competition
at the Boris Becker sensory gardens.
Please bring along no more than two full size cakes
or half a dozen fairy cakes and that.
The first prize will be a week's holiday in Liechtenstein.
The second prize will be two weeks there.
If you would like to take part just pop along to reception
and have a chat with big Ermintraud.
The entry fee is DM 88 which includes a novelty hat
with your name on and a small bag of sauerkraut.
All cakes shall be retained by the organising committee
and distributed to the needy in due course.

Friedrich Karl Freiherr von Eberstein

Deputy Assistant Commissioner for cakes and that
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the bear
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#15
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#15
(Original post by meddad)
Is this thread about semen?

Just asking before I post anything inappropriate.
:woo: thanks for coming Sir Meddad :yay:

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the bear
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#16
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#16
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As i am sure you are aware, a Polacca was a 17th-century sailing vessel commonly seen in the Mediterranean, similar to a xebec. Their prows were often carved with mermaids or dragons and that
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Laurence010401
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#17
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#17
And now, the shipping forecast. In other words - Soon may the weatherman come!
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the bear
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Laurence010401)
And now, the shipping forecast. In other words - Soon may the weatherman come!
:woo: kia ora L-dogg ! Kei te pēhea koe i tenei ra e hoa ? :beard:

choice punnage cuz

i had a whale of a time listening to the song :teehee:

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uberteknik
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#19
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#19
Fiddle on the Roof - Topols misinterpreted performance is hard to fathom. Persistence is the key.

Talking Head. - Groggy sailors may sometimes hear her voice when visiting the loo.

ATM - Automatic Tiller Machine

Bilge eating- a disturbingly sad obsession damaging to health

The Keelers - Brandon Flowers floundering in the doldrums

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Fiddle is the raised edge on the food preparation area of a ships galley to stop things falling off the edge when at sea. Sailors would wait for the opportunity to then steal food. Hence the term 'on the fiddle'.

Fiddle is also a licentious term I will leave to your imagination.

The loos on a ship are called 'head's derived from old sailing ships where the bow was adorned with intricately carved female busts shared with the bowsprit on which the sailors would sit to empty their bowels into the sea.
Last edited by uberteknik; 1 month ago
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uberteknik
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#20
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#20
(Original post by the bear)
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As i am sure you are aware, a Polacca was a 17th-century sailing vessel commonly seen in the Mediterranean, similar to a xebec. Their prows were often carved with mermaids or dragons and that
That deserves a treat. May I suggest a new Plimsol?
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