Is it weird for me (female 15) to date a 17yr old

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Just2raw_
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#1
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Iv been having this on n off relationship with this guy since August of 2020 it wasn’t rlly good at first ge put me through alot of stuff and i knew i needed better so i cut him off we started back talking in January of 2021 and i told my friends about this and they said it was weird he’s 17 but his birthday was in April i told them this but they still find it weird so is it?
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Anonymous #1
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it is weird
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backstreetboyz
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yes
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sufys
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(Original post by Just2raw_)
Iv been having this on n off relationship with this guy since August of 2020 it wasn’t rlly good at first ge put me through alot of stuff and i knew i needed better so i cut him off we started back talking in January of 2021 and i told my friends about this and they said it was weird he’s 17 but his birthday was in April i told them this but they still find it weird so is it?
The age gap would usually be fine, but you're below the age of consent and he isn't.
It will always be viewed as weird if only one of the partners is above the age of consent, and more weird because you're 2 years younger.
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Meduse
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(Original post by sufys)
The age gap would usually be fine, but you're below the age of consent and he isn't.
It will always be viewed as weird if only one of the partners is above the age of consent, and more weird because you're 2 years younger.
And, OP, it is for this reason that you need to be aware of his intentions. At that age, and even younger, his hormones are probably running wild. This isn't to say that anything will necessarily go wrong, though. It's just to give you a heads up.

Some general advice; never feel pressured to do anything you don't want to. It's okay to say no.
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Ghostlady
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Hes put you through a load of stuff and yet your still wanting to date him? he sounds not a great person tbh
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Anonymous #2
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If dating implies a solely romantic and non-sexual relationship, then I guess it's okay as there's only a minor age gap between you. If dating implies a sexual relationship, then legally you should wait until you reach 16 and can consent to be in one.
If this guy has also been horrible to you, then I'd stay away from him tbh. Nothing good comes out of toxic relationships, especially at your age.
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gracievasquez22
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no but don't have sex with him
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Surnia
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#9
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(Original post by Just2raw_)
Iv been having this on n off relationship with this guy since August of 2020 it wasn’t rlly good at first ge put me through alot of stuff and i knew i needed better so i cut him off we started back talking in January of 2021 and i told my friends about this and they said it was weird he’s 17 but his birthday was in April i told them this but they still find it weird so is it?
This boy was, what, being emotionally abusive to you? When you were 13?

Get away from him and stay away from him. He's a disgusting individual.
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Just2raw_
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(Original post by Meduse)
And, OP, it is for this reason that you need to be aware of his intentions. At that age, and even younger, his hormones are probably running wild. This isn't to say that anything will necessarily go wrong, though. It's just to give you a heads up.

Some general advice; never feel pressured to do anything you don't want to. It's okay to say no.
Thank your for being concerned and i will 🫶🏾
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Just2raw_
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#11
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Ik i shouldn’t but hes my first boyfriend and we been through a lot together i just dont wanna give up on us hes treating me way better then he was before so I honestly believe he changed
(Original post by Ghostlady)
Hes put you through a load of stuff and yet your still wanting to date him? he sounds not a great person tbh
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Just2raw_
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#12
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I’v never really thought abt losing my virginity to him but imma keep this in mind thanks
(Original post by Anonymous)
If dating implies a solely romantic and non-sexual relationship, then I guess it's okay as there's only a minor age gap between you. If dating implies a sexual relationship, then legally you should wait until you reach 16 and can consent to be in one.
If this guy has also been horrible to you, then I'd stay away from him tbh. Nothing good comes out of toxic relationships, especially at your age.
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Anonymous #3
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People on TSR are the sort of people who aren’t popular at a school and probably aren’t having much (if any) sex. They don’t live in the real world so don’t listen to them.

It is not weird at all, apply the 2 year rule and it is fine. There’s as reason your friends don’t care as it is normal.
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Just2raw_
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#14
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We haven’t didnt the ded yet but im open ta hear all options i’v never rlly seen a problem with us dating but its just any time i tell ppl his age they call it weird
(Original post by Anonymous)
People on TSR are the sort of people who aren’t popular at a school and probably aren’t having much (if any) sex. They don’t live in the real world so don’t listen to them.

It is not weird at all, apply the 2 year rule and it is fine. There’s as reason your friends don’t care as it is normal.
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Independerella
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(Original post by Just2raw_)
Iv been having this on n off relationship with this guy since August of 2020 it wasn’t rlly good at first ge put me through alot of stuff and i knew i needed better so i cut him off we started back talking in January of 2021 and i told my friends about this and they said it was weird he’s 17 but his birthday was in April i told them this but they still find it weird so is it?
I mean, the age gap is tiny really but your under 16 so he's basically doing bits with a minor and as grown as you may think you are, 15 is still a child therefore you cant consent.
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DarylO
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(Original post by Just2raw_)
Iv been having this on n off relationship with this guy since August of 2020 it wasn’t rlly good at first ge put me through alot of stuff and i knew i needed better so i cut him off we started back talking in January of 2021 and i told my friends about this and they said it was weird he’s 17 but his birthday was in April i told them this but they still find it weird so is it?
He's practically about 2 years older than you or slightly less. That's not absurd but you shouldn't be intimate if you can't legally consent. I'm guessing he was 15 when he wasn't treating you right. Not to generalize but a lot of teens are terrible when it comes to relationships especially when they're younger. I don't know what 'a lot of stuff' means so I can't give proper advice here.

If he was abusive, I wouldn't recommend getting back with him. A huge no. Anyone that can be abusive at such a young age is not someone you should be around. But if 'a lot of stuff' means the petty arguments and weekly heartaches that characterise most teenage relationships; you know, the little bumps along the way, it's fine to give it another shot as long as he's showing clear signs that he has matured as an individual and a partner. 15 year old him was probably dumber than 17 year old him, and it would be unfair to hold that over his head if he has indeed changed. But I reiterate: if 'a lot of stuff' means abuse, move on. I wouldn't want my sister with someone who abused her.
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Anonymous #4
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Please protect yourself, if you guys are not intimate then it is less of an issue but there is still a difference of maturity between 15 years and 17 years. You are still very young and if he isn’t treating you well, it might be better to just let it go.
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Anonymous #3
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(Original post by Just2raw_)
We haven’t didnt the ded yet but im open ta hear all options i’v never rlly seen a problem with us dating but its just any time i tell ppl his age they call it weird
Not anytime you tell anyone tho is it as you’ve said you’re friends weren’t bothered.
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TheMcSame
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(Original post by Independerella)
I mean, the age gap is tiny really but your under 16 so he's basically doing bits with a minor and as grown as you may think you are, 15 is still a child therefore you cant consent.
The law is not nearly as clear cut as people think on issues like this.

One is under the age of consent, that is true. However, the other is under the age of 18 and therefore can't be charged for sex with a minor (or whatever the specific wording of the offence is) because the wording, in law, specifically describes, and I'm paraphrasing here, the 'offence boundary' as I'll call it, to be 18 or older.

So in essence, a 13 year old and a 17 year old can agree to have sex and be perfectly within the law because 17 year olds are in this odd boundary where they can 'consent' (age of consent is something misunderstood by most, there are two ages of consent, I'll explain in the next paragraph) but they can also have sex with someone under 16 as the sex with a minor charge can not be applied to them as they are under the age of 18.

As for consent. What do I mean there are two ages? Well...
You have the accepted age of consent, which is 16. Which is the age at which they can have consensual sex with an adult of any age and there's no risk of a charge being brought against the older party.

Then you have the age set by law, which is 13.

I could go on and explain it massively, but the short and simple version is that:
Sex with someone under the age of 16 but over the age of 12 is an act that can be charged with 'sex with a minor', whereas sex with someone under the age of 13 is 'rape of a child'.

In other words, the lack of 'rape' for the offence of having sex with a 13-15 year old means that the true age of consent is actually 13.

The under 16 law is largely there to protect these maturing teenagers from older adults looking to exploit their newfound curiosity for sex. A 18 year old is highly unlikely to see a charge for having sex with a 15 year old, if any court would take the case at all. A 30 year old however, would likely be charged. It's one of those laws where the actual enforcement doesn't follow the law to the letter.
Last edited by TheMcSame; 1 month ago
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Anonymous #5
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It’s weird that you said he’s put you through a lot yet you still want to get back with him

(Original post by Independerella)
I mean, the age gap is tiny really but your under 16 so he's basically doing bits with a minor and as grown as you may think you are, 15 is still a child therefore you cant consent.
He’s also a minor too, but you’re right 16 is age of consent so they shouldn’t be doing that business

(Original post by TheMcSame)
The law is not nearly as clear cut as people think on issues like this.

One is under the age of consent, that is true. However, the other is under the age of 18 and therefore can't be charged for sex with a minor (or whatever the specific wording of the offence is) because the wording, in law, specifically describes, and I'm paraphrasing here, the 'offence boundary' as I'll call it, to be 18 or older.

So in essence, a 13 year old and a 17 year old can agree to have sex and be perfectly within the law because 17 year olds are in this odd boundary where they can 'consent' (age of consent is something misunderstood by most, there are two ages of consent, I'll explain in the next paragraph) but they can also have sex with someone under 16 as the sex with a minor charge can not be applied to them as they are under the age of 18.

As for consent. What do I mean there are two ages? Well...
You have the accepted age of consent, which is 16. Which is the age at which they can have consensual sex with an adult of any age and there's no risk of a charge being brought against the older party.

Then you have the age set by law, which is 13.

I could go on and explain it massively, but the short and simple version is that:
Sex with someone under the age of 16 but over the age of 12 is an act that can be charged with 'sex with a minor', whereas sex with someone under the age of 13 is 'rape of a child'.

In other words, the lack of 'rape' for the offence of having sex with a 13-15 year old means that the true age of consent is actually 13.

The under 16 law is largely there to protect these maturing teenagers from older adults looking to exploit their newfound curiosity for sex. A 18 year old is highly unlikely to see a charge for having sex with a 15 year old, if any court would take the case at all. A 30 year old however, would likely be charged. It's one of those laws where the actual enforcement doesn't follow the law to the letter.
Yeah sensible response with the law, think you’re wrong about the age of consent though it’s 16. The age for sexting is 18 though so if the 15 and 17 year old sent naked photos (don’t do this btw, illegal and stupid behaviour) they would be very unlikely to be charged as they are 13+ but under 18

You might be right though about the lenience there for age of consent if one party is below 18 but above 16, and the other is 13+. Don’t really want to be searching for this stuff though as don’t want the feds to think I’m being dodgy so I’ll take your word for it!
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