Is it okay to refer to your male best friend as baby while in a relationship?

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
So I've been with my girl for almost an year now. She has this male best friend of last few years. No issues there. But their texts etc and way of referring to each other is what throws me off a little.
It's normal for them to send kissing and hearts emojis to each other, saying I love you to each other. She also refers to him as baby. That's her pet name for me too generally in our conversations. She attaches a lot of importance to it in the context of our relationship, and says she feels loved when I call her that, and lovingly calls me that herself.
I don't know where's the line between healthy boundaries and control issues, but referring to me and her best friend too in the very same way doesn't settle well with me.
Everyone has their own way and style, but when in a relationship, I guess there could be some healthy boundaries which ought to be respected (again, not sure if it is stepping into control issues territory). Maybe the reason is that I have never used such emojis or endearing words or expressions of love with any of my female friends, I reserve them for the girl I'm romantically involved with. Probably because it would give a sense of non-exclusivity to my partner, who is, ofcourse, exclusive and top priority for me. And when that feeling is not reciprocated, it stings.
So, I told this to her and received a lot of heat for not caring, not understanding etc. The whole thing of she berating me for it and saying ki d of mean things made me sort of withdrawn a little, because me having a problem with something (mind you, don't have a problem with their friendship nor do I interfere otherwise), and she hoping I should understand and let her do her thing her way, and that it will continue into the future with her knowing that I'll not be okay was offputting.
Should I just back off and tell her to continue sending each other what they like, call each other what they like and try to find my peace somehow? Or am I not so wrong in expecting this much of her?
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blueskiess
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#2
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if they’re not comfortable with it no, i’d compromise on that
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rosy_posy
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#3
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#3
It is unusual to call your friend "baby" and you're right to bring her up on that. If there's nothing going on between her and her male friend then there's nothing to worry about
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FellFr0mGrace
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#4
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Personally, I wouldn't want to be with a man who'd be upset and say nothing. I think you should speak to her abt it
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by blueskiess)
if they’re not comfortable with it no, i’d compromise on that
Compromise on telling her to avoid doing it?
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londonmyst
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No, I don't think its okay to refer to any adult human as 'baby' unless its their first name and they are fine with being addressed that way.
Seems like your gf is just in the habit of using the term for guys outside her family that she is very close with.
If she also called her exes 'baby' and did the same with guys that she was friends with at school, its a habit that she's unlikely to stop any time soon.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by rosy_posy)
It is unusual to call your friend "baby" and you're right to bring her up on that. If there's nothing going on between her and her male friend then there's nothing to worry about
I know, nothing to worry about from the point of view of they have feelings or anything that spoils our relationship, I trust her on that. But as you said, it is unusual. When you're single, you can do whatever you want. But if you choose to get into a relationship, shouldn't some things be agreed to rather than giving flak to the other person for even saying it?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by FellFr0mGrace)
Personally, I wouldn't want to be with a man who'd be upset and say nothing. I think you should speak to her abt it
I already did and mentioned how it went too.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Compromise on telling her to avoid doing it?
sorry no i skim read this completely wrong. i meant the person doing that should stop if it makes their partner uncomfortable
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Anonymous #1
#10
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(Original post by londonmyst)
No, I don't think its okay to refer to any adult human as 'baby' unless its their first name and they are fine with being addressed that way.
Seems like your gf is just in the habit of using the term for guys outside her family that she is very close with.
If she also called her exes 'baby' and did the same with guys that she was friends with at school, its a habit that she's unlikely to stop any time soon.
No/very little contact with exes. It's just about this one best friend.
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bcusz
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#11
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#11
She’s cheating on you brev 😭. Leave her asap before she manipulates you.
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Amanda Mbekela
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#12
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#12
Explain to your chick how you about feel about his friend call her baby and the sending of love emojis try to be understanding with her because I can see there is jelousy a little it's normal because she is your girlfriend
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