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Miaj_233
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#1
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#1
So I’m planning on breaking up with my boyfriend as he stresses me out ( in a way that makes my anxiety worse ) this is as:

1. I said for him to plan more outings as I feel like it’s just me sorting them out and it’s not fair / it feels like our relationship is one sided and stale. He still hasn’t planned anything part from one thing as I suggested the day and suggestions first.

2. to ask me how my job searching is going ( we both wanted jobs , I have one now and he doesn’t . ) - just to show that he cares and he shows it more as he doesn’t ask where as I ask all the time , 3. to stop using dictionary words with me and keep it simple , he uses these words and says them for the sake of it or just says actual fancy words in a sentence and it stresses me out when he uses them as it gives me tension headaches. I get stressed out anyways as I over think as it is..

3. He isn’t as present anymore in the relationship- E.g when I’m taking about something serious he doesn’t take it seriously and makes a joke out of it most of the time.

4. He’s very funny and snarky with money and feels like he wants to be in a competition E.g the other day he was being snarky about UC and he said “ oh but I might get it before you as I was in it longer than you “ when I said like 2x we get all get paid the same date which is the 25th june. (24th as it was a weekend the 25th)

But for some reason I just can’t help but not feel guilty though and not wanting to hurt him , I just feel like a bad person with doing so but I just want what’s best for me and I don’t want to stick with him and hurt him by leading him on and myself just because I feel guilty .

Q: Should I feel like a bad person for it ?
(this is my first breakup I’ve done ever.)
Last edited by Miaj_233; 1 month ago
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RushingRiver
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#2
Report 1 month ago
#2
(Original post by Miaj_233)
So I’m planning on breaking up with my boyfriend as he stresses me out ( in a way that makes my anxiety worse ) this is as:

1. I said for him to plan more outings as I feel like it’s just me sorting them out and it’s not fair / it feels like our relationship is one sided and stale. He still hasn’t planned anything part from one thing as I suggested the day and suggestions first.

2. to ask me how my job searching is going ( we both wanted jobs , I have one now and he doesn’t . ) - just to show that he cares and he shows it more as he doesn’t ask where as I ask all the time , 3. to stop using dictionary words with me and keep it simple , he uses these words and says them for the sake of it or just says actual fancy words in a sentence and it stresses me out when he uses them as it gives me tension headaches. I get stressed out anyways as I over think as it is..

3. He isn’t as present anymore in the relationship- E.g when I’m taking about something serious he doesn’t take it seriously and makes a joke out of it most of the time.

4. He’s very funny and snarky with money and feels like he wants to be in a competition E.g the other day he was being snarky about UC and he said “ oh but I might get it before you as I was in it longer than you “ when I said like 2x we get all get paid the same date which is the 25th june. (24th as it was a weekend the 25th)

But for some reason I just can’t help but not feel guilty though and not wanting to hurt him , I just feel like a bad person with doing so but I just want what’s best for me and I don’t want to stick with him and hurt him by leading him on and myself just because I feel guilty .

Q: Should I feel like a bad person for it ?
(this is my first breakup I’ve done ever.)
No, don’t feel bad. If you’re not happy, no matter what the reason, that’s a valid excuse to break up

Your happiness has to come first, even if it means hurting him. I’ve only broken up with one person (excluding one who cheated on me) and the rest broke up with me - I felt kinda guilty about breaking up with my ex too but I know it was right, and I’m not at all angry at the people who broke up with me.

If it’s gonna make you happier, then do it, and good luck!
Last edited by RushingRiver; 1 month ago
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Miaj_233
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#3
Report Thread starter 1 month ago
#3
(Original post by RushingRiver)
No, don’t feel bad. If you’re not happy, no matter what the reason, that’s a valid excuse to break up

Your happiness has to come first, even if it means hurting him. I’ve only broken up with one person (excluding one who cheated on me) and the rest broke up with me - I felt kinda guilty about breaking up with my ex too but I know it was right, and I’m not at all angry at the people who broke up with me.

If it’s gonna make you happier, then do it, and good luck!
Thank you would you stay friends with him if you was me or not?
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RushingRiver
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Miaj_233)
Thank you would you stay friends with him if you was me or not?
Personally, I would always offer. It’s up to you and how you feel though. If you think you can cope with him and his personality, and you don’t have any romantic feelings left, go for it! If it’s gonna be too much, you’re under no obligation, but I’d suggest trying to stay civil if you still have to see each other often (e.g. if you work together or something)
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